What We Say, What We Don't Say, and When Things Are Said about Us
(Minghui.org) I experienced severe sickness karma not long ago. Some practitioners offered help, but some increased my suffering when trying to help.
The worst was the coordinator of another Fa-study group. With a superior and imposing attitude, she said, “We discussed your issue. Your problem is all your own problem.”
I resented her and couldn't overcome my negative emotion, so I refused to talk to her.
Opinions about Causing Sickness Karma
More recently, an elderly practitioner in our group experienced sickness karma. The other group held a different opinion this time.
“Everyone should look inward,” they suggested, “and see if it is someone else's problem that caused this practitioner's sickness karma.”
I said that this difference of opinion [from how I was treated] was not fair, but others didn't agree with me. No matter what, I still resented their treating similar issues so differently.
At home, my daughter and I studied the Fa together, and I mentioned this to her. She said, “Mom, let go of who is right or wrong in this affair. You complained about her attitude, but look at yourself. Don't you talk to others with the same imposing and superior attitude? Don't you look down on others and think they are inferior to you?”
Her words awakened me. Yes, I had a bad attitude toward others, too.
She continued, “You can't judge a practitioner by what you see on the surface. You don't know how well a practitioner has cultivated. Master had said that the part that reaches the standard will be moved to another dimension and will not be visible on the human side.”
I realized my own problem and was able to calm down.
I later shared an article about “minding your speech” with the group and another practitioner replied with an article discussing “What We Say” and “When Things Are Said about Us.”
It contained many useful insights, so I am submitting it to the Minghui website to share with more practitioners.
Putting Personal Motivation Aside
Master said, “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
If I am the person who should “say” something, I must follow Master's teaching.
“I often say that if all a person wants is the well-being of others and if this is without the slightest personal motivation or personal understanding, what he says will move the listener to tears. I have not only taught you Dafa, but have also left you my demeanor. While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person’s heart, whereas commands never could! If others are not convinced deep down inside but only superficially comply, they will still conduct themselves according to their own will when no one is around to see them.” (“Clearheadedness,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
If the other party doesn't accept your opinion, don't resent that person. You still should look inward. Do my tone of voice, sincerity, and reasoning conform to Dafa, or do I have any personal motivation or personal understanding regarding this?
One should not become attached to other people's attachments. You advise goodness. If they don't accept that, you need not become resentful, blame them, or impose your opinion on them.
If I prefer “not saying” anything, there are four reasons for that. First is jealousy, so I don't mention others' merits. Not saying anything about a shortcoming is also jealousy: I look down on them and think it isn't worth my breath.
The second reason is that I am being irresponsible: It has nothing to do with me, so I don't care and don't speak up.
Three is selfishness: If I share my opinion, it may offend someone and hurt that person's feelings, so I keep quiet to protect myself.
The fourth reason is smugness: Let the problem grow bigger and then see how they handle it.
“Not to say” anything is a wise course of action only when I am hurt or wronged. However, a practitioner ought to expose the evil deeds when one is persecuted.
If I am the person who has the problem of “something being said about,” I should look inward unconditionally. Why was this said to me? Why do I, but no one else, have the problem? Do I have the problem they pointed out? If yes, I should improve. If not, just take it as a reminder and don't mind the speaker's attitude.
If I do have the problem, don't be afraid of being talked about. I should see the problem and overcome it.
Even I am wronged, I don't need to avoid “something being said about me.”
“You know, with cultivators, the following is often said: only when you have an attachment will you be affected inside; if you don’t have an attachment, it will be like a breeze passing over you—you won’t feel a thing. If you hear someone say that you want to commit some horrible crime, you’ll just find it amusing. (Master laughs) You will think, “How could that be possible?” and will laugh it off. You won’t take it seriously at all. Since you don’t even have that thought, those words can’t touch you. If you don’t have that kind of thought, they can’t touch you. When you are affected inside, that means you do have [an attachment]! And if you really feel strongly that you have been treated unjustly, then [your attachment] is rather large. (Applause) So shouldn’t you cultivate yourself?” (Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference)
When it comes to “being talked about,” one should not cover up, deny, or make excuses. To cover up is to fake your cultivation. To deny is to look outward and deviate onto a demonic path. Making excuses will develop crooked understandings.