Unconditionally Searching Within to Align with the Fa
(Minghui.org) After practicing Falun Dafa for 19 years, I have just begun to understand this part of Master’s teaching:
A practitioner hired me as a housekeeper. As her husband had been imprisoned for four months for violating traffic rules, she hoped that we could study the Fa together. When her husband was at home, he always stopped her from studying the Fa, tore up her books, or even hit her.
We made an agreement that I would work from 10:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. This gave me sufficient time to go out and talk to people about Falun Dafa and its persecution by the communist regime. However, working for her was a much tougher job than I had expected.
Tough Housekeeping Job
This practitioner had a 29-year-old daughter with dementia who always defecated into her pants. The two of us needed to clean her frequently. This was a constant xinxing test. I forced myself to endure it, but many human notions still emerged.
On my first day at her house, I cleaned her bathroom. It was a dirty mess. While cleaning, I tried extra hard to suppress any human notions, but thoughts of complaint appeared as I hated the filth.
The next day, I cleaned up her garage, in which she grew bean sprouts. The place was full of plastic barrels and bags, foam boxes, and piles of dirty clothes. Lots of tiny flies flew out from the fermented beans and were everywhere. It seemed impossible to clean it, but I told myself, “I should not be moved in any environment. I should do what I can and try hard to maintain my xinxing.”
As I was cleaning, I asked her if I could throw away useless things. She replied that all of it was useful. I still removed a bag of rags.
When I was almost finished, her daughter needed to be cleaned again. The practitioner hurriedly got a large pot of water, and I helped her. During the process, I forced myself to endure the situation. I tried not to think about anything and just did what needed to be done. I was able to endure quite well at the time, but later many notions appeared in my mind.
Sometimes, when the practitioner and I were studying the Fa, we had to stop in order to clean her daughter and change her clothes. I really felt sad for the mother because she had taken care of her daughter since she was born 29 years ago.
Looking Within for Notions
After working for her for a while, many of my human notions emerged, and I could not suppress them. At home, I calmly looked within. So that I would not forget a single attachment, I wrote them down. For example, every time I entered her house, I found it messy and smelly. This indicated that I had not cultivated well.
I was afraid of filth. When I cooked, flies were all over the house. I opened a closet door and a bunch of flies flew out. I thought that flies like to stay in dirty places. Because I had not cultivated well and had many human notions and rotten elements, I figured my state had caused all those flies to appear.
Even in this environment, the practitioner grew bean sprouts to sell at supermarkets. I thought that she would earn money but lose virtue. I saw it as being selfish, a behavior of the old universe, and not aligned with the Fa.
Since I had not searched inside to correct myself, I judged her with my human standards and blamed and criticized her. When I talked to her with a condescending and commanding tone, I was not kind. It seemed that I was helping her to be righteous, but actually I was showing off and tried to force her to accept my standard. My behavior was a result of indoctrination by the Communist Party.
When she refused to accept my opinion and defended herself, I felt very uncomfortable, which was a manifestation of jealousy. I identified, separated, and eliminated those notions.
As Master said,
“Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gongis done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun, Version 2014)
Master helped me to eliminate those things.
Master also said,
“True cultivation is about cultivating the human mind, and a person can never reach that realm if he doesn’t get rid of his human attachments.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Founding Ceremony of the Singaporean Falun Dafa Association,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. I)
I knew what I should do. I had intended to change another practitioner, and I no longer wanted to work for her in order to avoid that terrible environment.
When the two of us studied the Fa, she shut the door and closed the curtain, leaving only a small portion of the window open. There was no air conditioning in the room, and she did not turn on her electric fan, even on the hottest days that summer. She told me to endure the temperature. I did not say anything and focused on studying the Fa.
Soon, she became sleepy. She first read the Fa with a loud voice and later spoke softly. When she realized it, she tried to stay alert and re-read the words. For a while, she stood up and later sat down to read. She did that nearly every day.
I controlled myself and did not let her affect me. After studying the Fa, I reminded her to send forth righteous thoughts more often in order to eliminate all of the bad elements and rotten substances in her dimension.
Enduring More and Helping the Fellow Practitioner
I once cleaned her entire house and reorganized her garage. She washed her bedroom linen. I sewed, fixed her curtains, broken cabinet door, and more. I brought her my door curtain and put it up.
She said, “I do know that as a Dafa practitioner, I have to clean the house well. I had forgotten it and became used to it. Now I know it was not right. A Dafa practitioner needs to not only study the Fa well but also needs to do well in life.”
I replied, “Whatever we do, we are validating the Fa. You take good care of your daughter every day and study the Fa. She can also listen to it. You grow sprouts and sell them. If you can keep your surroundings clean, that is also part of cultivation, isn't it? When you improve, then your husband will change as well.” She agreed.
One night I had a dream: I was putting bundles of rice from the field into a four-wheeled cart. The cart widened when it was full of rice. I woke up and realized that it was Master who had given me a hint and encouraged me. Maintaining one's xinxing and unconditionally looking within is called cultivation for those who can achieve it.
On the surface, I helped another practitioner clean up her house. When I looked inward unconditionally, I clearly felt that I was also cleaning up my own dimensional field.
One’s xinxing determines one's gain and loss, one’s improvement in levels, and the elevation of one’s realm. On the cultivation path arranged by Master, it is a matter of whether one has reached the standard of the Fa. It is truly a process of tempering my xinxing and a tribulation I must overcome to meet the standard of the Fa at a certain realm.
As Master stated,
“The lives of cultivators have been prearranged. You won’t have too many or too few tribulations, and there won’t necessarily be eighty-one of them. It depends on how high you can cultivate to with your underlying base; it’s been planned according to the level you might achieve. Cultivators will experience the process of abandoning everything that everyday people have but that cultivators should not have. It is indeed tough. We will think of ways to make you give up all the things you find hard to let go, and that way you improve your character with the tribulations.” (“Trials and Tribulations,” Falun Gong)
The cultivation path arranged by Master is well-ordered. The degree to which one can cultivate depends on how well one does and whether one is determined to cultivate. These are my understandings and actions at my current level.