(Minghui.org) When I first started to cultivate Falun Dafa in 1997, I cultivated diligently, because when studying the Fa, I found the true meaning of life, and saw hope. I continued to practice Falun Dafa when the persecution started in 1999 and joined fellow practitioners in their truth-clarification efforts.
As time passed, in the seemingly never-ending persecution, the opportunity to get together with other practitioners, either to study the Fa or to share experiences, became more and more sparse. I spent most of my time among ordinary people and became more and more like them.
I gradually accepted the declined morals of ordinary society as the norm and stooped so low as to hiring prostitutes and gambling. Although I let Master Li (the founder) down, he did not give up on me. In a recent crash that could have easily claimed my life, Master Li protected me and accepted me back as a Dafa practitioner
The Accident
It all happened late at night in July. I was heading home on my motorbike after leaving the gambling house. Suddenly, I heard a loud engine coming up fast behind me. I knew something was wrong, but before I could get out of the way, I heard a loud “bang” and was hit.
My eyes were closed, but I could feel that my body went sideways. My entire back went up against something, and it was as if I was being held by someone, which I later realized must have been Master Li. I was pushed for a distance before I went flying.
When I regained consciousness, the first thought that popped into my head was that I am a Dafa practitioner, and there was a good chance that the accident happened because of my gambling addiction. It was the old forces that tried to take my life.
Master had hinted many times prior to the accident, but I ignored the signs, and didn't want to change because of my strong attachments. But, that night, at that moment, I regretted not having behaved like a real practitioner.
Lying on my stomach on the ground, I thought, “Want me dead? Not a chance! I will start cultivating again, and become diligent .”
Returning to Cultivation Path
I remembered Master giving the example of the elderly lady in the Fa,
“This practitioner slowly got up from the ground and said: 'There’s nothing wrong. You can leave'. She brushed off the dirt on her clothes and left with her husband. (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
“We have said that good or evil comes from a person’s spontaneous thought, and the thought at that moment can bring about different consequences. With her old age, if she were an everyday person, how could she not be injured? Yet her skin was not even scratched. Good or evil comes from that instant thought. If she were lying down there claiming, 'Ugh, I feel terrible. Something is wrong here and there.' Then, her bones might really have been fractured, and she would be paralyzed.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I made up my mind at that moment, “From now on, I will become a cultivator of Falun Dafa again, and live up to the standards of the Fa.” I slowly got up, only to find the car that hit me was already gone. My motorbike was much farther down the road and had been totaled.
I felt a little muddle-headed, as if I just woken up. My body was heavy and stiff but I was conscious. I was not sore except that my right shoulder felt numb. I also lost one shoe. I found out later that it had fallen 20 meters away from where I got hit.
I slowly walked to the shoulder of the road and sat down. I thought about what I had done in the past years and started laughing. Luckily there was nobody around since it was past midnight, otherwise people would have thought that I was crazy.
I vaguely recalled Master's words,
“Actually, don’t think that nothing happened to you after being hit—a you, made up of karma, really died. What’s more, that body had thoughts, a heart, and limbs that were made up of your bad karma; it died in the accident, and it was composed entirely of karma. We’ve done such a tremendous good thing for you, and have removed such a huge amount of karma and paid for lives with it—no one else does this. We do this only because you’re able to practice cultivation. When you realize this you will have no way to thank me.” (“Teaching the Fa at a New York Meeting,” Lectures in the United States)
I knew Master hadn't given up on me—I would have died that night if it wasn't for Master's protection. I was deeply touched by Master's compassion and was filled with gratitude.
Clarifying the Truth to the Drivers
I couldn't raise my right arm because my right shoulder was dislocated and swollen. I thought of the many bad deeds I had committed over the years, and how this arm helped accumulate a lot of the karma.
I called home to get a ride. While waiting, the car that hit me came back. The driver said to me as soon as he got out, “Let's go to the hospital.” I told the driver and his co-driver, “I'm fine. I don't need to go to the hospital. I am a Falun Dafa practitioner and I am not going to scam you so don't worry. You could have killed me tonight, but I am okay thanks to Falun Dafa. You can go now.”
The drivers called the police and the insurance company. My brother and my uncle arrived soon, and so did the insurance company agent. Despite everyone telling me to go to the hospital, I went straight home. My uncle is still mad at me to this day for being such a “stubborn fool,” because I didn't take up the drivers' offer.
My mom was shocked when I walked in the door—I had blood all over me and had wounds on my head, knees, elbows, hands, shoulders, and both sides of my lower back. Strangely, I didn't feel any pain. When they eventually stopped bleeding, clear fluid oozed out of the wounds. I knew it was because I had accumulated too much karma.
The next day, the drivers came to visit. My father, also a practitioner, and I told them more about Dafa and how wrong the persecution is. When I again turned down their offer to be taken to the hospital, they asked that I go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, so the case can be closed.
It turned out that the insurance company needed a copy of my physical exam results to close the case. If I didn't get examined, it would cause inconvenience for the insurance company, as well as the drivers. I asked my father for advice, and he reminded me that Dafa practitioners should always be considerate of others. I agreed to go to the hospital.
On the way to the hospital, the driver said, “Falun Gong practitioners don't scam people, and don't want money. You really are good people. But I did cause the accident, and I would really like to compensate you.” When he insisted that I take 1,800 yuan, I accepted it. Of course, all of that money was donated for making Dafa brochures.
Master Endured Pain for Me
When I told the doctor I was in an accident the day before, he couldn't believe it, “And you just came to get examined now?” After a thorough checkup, he declared, “Your right elbow is badly injured, you need skin grafting. Your right arm is broken, you need to be hospitalized.” I would not agree to these treatments and ended up only getting a cast.
The sling on the cast became lose the next day and three days later, I got rid of the cast altogether. Pus started coming out of the wounds on my right arm though it didn't hurt. I knew bad things were being eliminated from my body, and my body was being purified.
The wounds hurt for about two hours one morning but never again afterward. I realized that just because I didn't feel the pain doesn't mean it didn't hurt—Master must have endured most of it for me.
Getting Rid of the Attachment to Healing
A practitioner visited me and told me about another practitioner who broke seven ribs, but completely recovered in just a few days because of his strong righteous thoughts.
I looked inward and tried to figure out what my attachment was. What is it that I needed to let go of? What notion should I get rid of so can I heal faster? Of course I knew my attachments to lust and gambling were my biggest problems. I also held fear—I was afraid that I would lose my arm, and I was scared of dying.
Master said, “Pursue nothing and gain naturally!” (“Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”)
Looking inward didn't speed up the healing process as I had hoped, because I had such strong attachments. After hearing the story of another practitioner's swift recovery, I tried to figure out what I could do so my arm would heal fast as well. I didn't realize I was pursuing even though it was quite obvious.
I felt that my chest was tight as if a membrane separated my heart from the rest of my body. On the surface, I was still cultivating and looking inward, but not without intentions and pursuit. I was going astray.
Master said,
“There are countless cancer patients who’ve become well, but there are also cancer patients who have died. Why? Let me give you an example. Some people truly weren’t attached to anything after they realized that they had obtained this Fa. Lying in his sickbed, this person thought: 'I’m dying, yet I have the chance to read something like this. I truly regret that I didn’t read it any earlier!' He didn’t think about using it to heal his illness. He simply made the best use of his time to read the book. He said: 'I won’t live for long. I’d better hurry up and read the book, hurry up and read it. I’ll read it as much as possible and as many times as possible in the years or days I have left.' During this process, however, he unwittingly became able to leave his sickbed, his tumors disappeared, he was able to walk, he was able to stand up, and he suddenly discovered that he felt unburdened from head to toe. The hospital reexamined him and found that his cancer was completely cured.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Europe)
When I read this part of the Fa, the weight on my chest lifted. Although I've done many bad things in the past, however, I have obtained the Fa after all, so then what am I afraid of? So what if I lose one arm? Am I still going to live? I needed to let go of all my attachments and bad habits, use my time wisely to study the Fa, do the three things well, and become a true Dafa practitioner.
Suddenly everything seemed so simple. I was confident that I would be able to overcome any obstacle. Everyone has a unique path in cultivation, runs into different things, and has different attachments to get rid of—even when facing the same situation, two people will act differently. But as long as we keep righteous thoughts and righteous actions, we will make it in cultivation.
A Great Lesson Learned
Master said,
“If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: 'After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!'" (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
If something works out for us, it is because we have cultivated well, and our xinxing has reached the requirement of the Fa. If we cultivate to satisfy our human desires, isn't that holding onto our fundamental attachment and not letting go?
I have learned such a great lesson after taking a huge detour. I fell so hard on my cultivation path that I almost died. As cultivators, we know when a person loses his or her physical body it is like changing an outfit, but the destruction of the soul is the real death. Thanks to Master who, with his immense compassion and infinite wisdom, denied the old forces' arrangements for me, helped me get rid of my karma, and saved my life and my soul.
When I read in the Fa about Master foreseeing how great and glorious Dafa disciples' achievements will be, I always felt honored. However, I never asked how I was to achieve such a high level of attainment, glory, and mighty virtue. Am I worthy of it? Am I going to achieve that high a level? What have I done to deserve it?
I am sharing my experience with fellow practitioners and hope it serves as a warning. I regret having let Master down in the past and will truly cultivate in the future to fulfill my vows. Thank you, Master, for not giving up on me.
Category: Improving Oneself
