(Minghui.org) Although I did not attend The Epoch Times and NTD Experience Sharing Conference in person, I attentively listened to every practitioners’ cultivation experiences. The atmosphere was sacred and solemn. I was moved to tears at times. I also felt guilty and ashamed. I realized that I had made mistakes.
The one thing that really stood out for me was how practitioners were able to let go of their egos and work together to save people.
One practitioner pointed out that judging others with the Fa standards is like hitting them with a stick. When I heard that, I broke out in a cold sweat because that's what I've been doing.
I felt good about myself because I did the exercises more frequently than any other practitioner at The Epoch Times print shop. I even did the second exercise for an hour.
Master said,
“As long as you regard yourself as a cultivator and follow the character requirements that I have set forth, when you are not doing the exercises, not only does it not disappear, but it strengthens. Your gong strength will even keep growing, in fact. But that said, if you do the exercises more than anybody but fail to act in line with the character standard I set, then I’m afraid your effort was a waste. You do the exercises but the effect is nil. No matter what system you practice, if you don’t follow its requirements, in all likelihood you are cultivating in a crooked way.” (Chapter V Questions and Answers, Falun Gong)
One practitioner said that after he was released from the forced labor camp, he walked six miles for two hours to save ten yuan (Chinese dollar). But he said that now that he works in the media, he cannot endure hardship.
His words reminded me of the five-plus years I spent in Masanjia Forced Labor Camp. It was an arduous experience and it was only with Master's blessing that I came out alive. While I was there I dared not speak to the guards, but I have no problem arguing with my supervisor now.
Practitioners in Hong Kong continue to report amidst bullets and tear gas, working in the battlefield, racing against time to save sentient beings. But I just want my comfortable environment and wish I could sleep a bit more.
Another practitioner quit his job as a physician and devoted himself to the print shop with no complaints nor regrets. I work at the print shop, but I often think about getting a different job. If I knew how to speak English, I would have left long ago.
Working at the print shop does not give me any sense of sacredness. This is because I'm arrogant and full of myself. I don’t see myself clearly so I can’t find my true self.
Confronting My Attachments
Each practitioners’ cultivation sharing touched my heart. As I identified each of my attachments, it felt like a negative substance gathered in my head. The substance kept expanding, giving me a headache and making my heart beat faster. As soon as I identified another attachment, Master pushed part of the negative substance out. By the time the Fa conference was over, every cell in my body ached. It felt like my attachments were alive, controlling my thoughts and struggling within me. They did not want to die.
When I returned home I wanted to study the Fa and eliminate my attachments, but I wasn't able to calm down enough to read Zhuan Falun. I knelt in front of Master’s photo and said, “Master, these attachments are not my true self, I don’t want them.”
I tried to lie down but couldn't. I couldn't do the exercises either. So I logged onto the RTC (Rapid Tuidang Center) platform. I immediately felt surrounded by a surge of positive energy.
I felt better after I talked with a practitioner I've known for many years. I then went to the RTC forum where practitioners make phone calls to China, and I listened in.
Although I hadn't been on the platform for more than a year, I saw many familiar names and heard a lot of familiar voices. Practitioners have opened up a bright path in the virtual network. At that moment I sensed the greatness of Dafa. We recited the Fa until 1:00 a.m.
I could not fall asleep afterward, so I sat up and listened to the recordings of Master’s lectures. When I woke up, all my discomfort was gone. I felt renewed and light, as if I had shed a layer of skin.
I recently visited a practitioner who was going through sickness karma. When I looked at him, it felt like I was looking at my old self.
At work, I never ate with the others because I could not stand practitioners talking about ordinary people’s things. I looked down on them for not spending more time memorizing the Fa.
I recently sat at the table with practitioners and listened as they chatted about the usual stuff. My heart was not moved. Whatever they talked about was fine with me, even though I’m not interested in delicious food or nice clothes. We cultivate in everyday society and we speak about ordinary things. The Fa sets requirements for each life, not me. I couldn't get along with them because I put myself on a pedestal.
When a practitioner reminded me to take the food in the fridge before I left, I realized that she was being responsible. I no longer mind others’ tone of voice. If she'd said that to me before, I would have thought, “Why don’t you mind your own business!”
I used to occasionally sleep at the print shop so that I could do the exercises between shifts. We aren't allowed to live at the print shop, and I sulked when I was told I couldn’t sleep there.
Practitioners don’t always have time to do the exercises on a daily basis when they are busy, but they still get the job done. I found that I can maintain my energy level even if I skip the exercises once in while, so there's no need for me to stay overnight.
I used to put “practice” before “cultivation,” which is the opposite of Master’s teachings and the universe’s characteristics. That's why my behavior was negative and I had difficulty cooperating with others. I now put “cultivation” before “practice.”
Even though I didn't do the exercises last Friday I wasn't tired after taking care of the ink buckets. I was able to deliver 50,000 copies of newspapers that afternoon.
One practitioner wanted to quit playing video games. He told his wife that he wanted quit but did not tell Master, because he was afraid that he might pick up the bad habit again. When he promised Master that he would quit, Master removed the attachment substance from him. He stopped playing video games and did the exercises for two hours every day instead.
When I decided to write this article I couldn't sleep and went through cleansing. I've begun practicing the five exercises with practitioners on the RTC platform at 3:00 a.m., and it's a wonderful feeling.
I went through a thorough cleansing after I listened to every practitioner’s sharing at the Fa conference. Every one of them experienced difficult hardships. It was so powerful that it washed away my stubborn human notions. A practitioner full of attachments is not capable of being compassionate.
A few days ago I read an article on Minghui.org, “I Enlightened to the Importance of Letting Go of Ego and Being Cooperative,” and I felt it was talking about me.
The last two sentences said, “Water naturally flows to the lowest point and never competes. Water silently nourishes all living things and does not ask for anything in return.
“Truly cooperating means being completely selfless and really cooperating with others. We should let go of ego and fulfill what Master wants. This way, the things we do to validate the Fa will be done well. We are establishing our virtue and elevating in the process.”
I am nowhere near the level of understanding of the practitioner who wrote that article, but I am trying my best. I know that as long as I have the heart to cultivate well, Master will take me to a higher level.
The Fa-rectification isn't over yet. I'm starting anew as I continue to dig out my deeply rooted selfishness. I will eliminate my notions and find my true self.
Category: Improving Oneself
