How I Eliminated the Attachment of Resentment
(Minghui.org) The book The Ultimate Purpose of Communism clearly states that hatred is the fundamental substance that constitutes communism. The many Chinese people who have been soaked in communist culture have developed a distorted mentality characterized by the attachment of resentment.
Resentment is closely related to the attachments of jealousy and competitiveness. It is controlled by sentiment and originates from selfishness, which is the characteristic of the old universe. It is an attachment that must be eliminated. Although I targeted this attachment when sending forth righteous thoughts, I still struggled to remove it.
I'd like to share with fellow practitioners how I eliminated my attachment to resentment.
Letting Go of Resentment Towards My Brother and Sister in Law
My brother went blind a while ago, but I didn't feel much grief when I heard. Neither did I cry like my sisters when I visited him.
I thought I reacted this way because I had let go of sentiment. One day, my husband said to me, “Why did you treat your brother that way?” I replied, “What way?” My husband sensed I was upset and said, “It's fine. Anyway he's your brother, not mine.” He went out to avoid any further discussion, but I was surprised by my attitude.
I looked inward and found resentment towards my brother. I hated my brother because he did not take care of my parents and didn't visit their graves after they died.
When my parents were still alive, my sister and I received a phone call from my cousin asking us to go home and discuss an issue concerning my parents. We rushed home in the snow. When we arrived, I found the house was freezing.
My elderly parents were wrapped in blankets to keep warm. I immediately felt resentment towards my brother who was supposed to be taking care of them.
We learned that my sister-in-law quarreled with my mother, and my father was angry because of her attitude towards my mother and said, “You can leave us alone; you don't have to take care of us.”
My brother and sister-in-law left my parents by themselves and stopped looking after them. My cousin had called for a family meeting to see who could take care of my parents.
My parents were almost 80 years old and suffered from various diseases. I was the only child who was able to live with them.
So, I borrowed money and bought a house near a hospital. After that, my parents lived with me.
I became very tired because I had to take care of my parents after work; my brother never asked about my parents. Once my mother fell and couldn't walk for several days; my brother didn't even visit her.
My mother always wanted to see my brother, however, my brother seldom came to visit. One day, when my brother finally came to visit her, she told him she wanted to live with him for a while. He just smiled helplessly and left. Another reason why I hated my brother was that I thought that he did not fulfill his responsibility as a father.
My current sister-in-law was his second wife and she brought her own son when she married my brother. My brother spent all his savings to pay off his stepson's mortgage and didn't give his own son a penny.
When he became blind, it was his own son who took care of him. I felt this was unfair to my nephew, and I hated my brother for being unfair to his own son.
I also hated my current sister-in-law for being so selfish. I even had the thought that she would be punished for what she did. She broke her wrist while helping her son, and I suddenly realized I was wrong to have those thoughts.
“One's Buddha-nature is Shan, and it manifests itself as compassion, thinking of others before acting, and the ability to endure suffering.” (“Buddha-Nature and Demon-Nature”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
I looked inward and found my strong attachments of resentment and jealousy. Then I started to try and view things from the perspective of my sister-in-law.
Her ex-husband always beat her and their son. Sometimes their son had to spend the night in the firewood pile in order not to be beaten by his father. As a result, he became stubborn and unrestrained. My brother once told me he would take on the responsibility of being his father.
The reason he wanted to help with his stepson's mortgage was that he wanted his stepson to marry a good wife and start a new life. Although my brother did so much for his stepson, his stepson never treated him well. However, my brother has never complained.
I realized my brother was a very kind person and I felt ashamed. After I realized my attachment, I treated my brother and sister-in-law very well. I always visited them with gifts and invited them to my home. My sister-in-law changed a lot after I changed. She also treated us very well.
Master told us:
“… the appearance stems from the mind.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting”, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X).
My sister in law's change gave me a much deeper understanding of this Fa teaching.
Eliminating the Attachment of Showing off
My daughter's major in school was accounting. I always pushed her to get the certificate so she could more easily find a job when she graduated.
She failed three times, so I asked her to take another exam to apply for a government job, but she failed again.
She took an interview exam but only got 20 points out of 100. I was really annoyed and yelled at her. My daughter promised to take the certification exam one more time and bought lots of materials for her exams.
I got angry with her again when I saw she didn't study at all. She yelled back at me, asking me to leave her alone. She said that I did not behave like a practitioner at all. I started to look inward and found my attachment.
I realized on the surface I wanted my daughter to find a better job. However, I really just wanted to show off in front of my friends. I wanted them to see that my child could find a decent job.
I forgot a person's life was well arranged, and I could not change my daughter's fate. I looked inward further and found that I also had the attachment of resentment and competitiveness at my workplace. I understood these were all bad substances of the old universe and should be eliminated.
When I realized my loopholes, my daughter found a job and moved out. She always gives me a call for a chat.
Dafa changed me from a resentful woman into a peaceful one. I will follow Master's teachings and be a better person.
I hope that through me, people can witness Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and I hope I can validate the Fa and save more people.