A Struggling Mother Recounts How Dafa Transformed Her Life
(Minghui.org) I used to suffer from stomach problems, rhinitis, neurasthenia, and menstrual periods that lasted over 10 days at a time.
Then I strained my back carrying a bucket of water in 1995. I was in a lot of pain and lying in bed just made it worse. I could only sleep on the sofa.
When I went to the doctor, I was told I had a herniated disc and needed traction therapy. I was unable to walk for six months afterward.
When I went to get a second opinion, the doctor realized that I’d been misdiagnosed. I actually had bone tuberculosis, and the traction had worsened my condition. In ancient China, doctors would treat tuberculosis of the bone by scraping the bones.
For the next few months, I did not menstruate and my abdomen swelled from the buildup of fluid. There were huge buildups on each hip, so I had to have surgery to have it removed. The doctor was afraid of damaging my nerves, so he decided on a more conservative surgical procedure. Not long after, the fluid continued to accumulate, and I had to go to the hospital every other day to get it drained.
Desperate for help, I tried everything, even seeing witch doctors and using medicine made from scorpions, centipedes, and skulls. Yet, my health continued to deteriorate and I felt hopeless.
My life took a turn for the better in 1996 when I was introduced to Falun Dafa. I finally understood why I’d been suffering all those years. I also learned about the meaning of life and why I am here on earth. All of my illnesses disappeared after I began doing the Dafa exercises and studying the Fa.
My husband began to have an affair in 1998 when I was pregnant with our second daughter. She became paralyzed when she was a year old due to a misdiagnosis. I often had to take her to the hospital but still had to take care of all the chores and make dinner when I got home. My eldest daughter had just started first grade and had to go to school by herself.
My husband refused to help out with anything. He eventually decided to move out to live with his mistress and filed for divorce. I hated him even though I knew it was wrong to feel that way. I had to remind myself that I was a practitioner and to follow Master Li’s teaching: “Of course, cultivators have no enemies, and nobody is worthy of being Dafa’s enemy.” (“Turning the Wheel Towards the Human World,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress, Vol. III)
I got custody of our eldest daughter, while my husband got custody of our youngest. He didn’t want to raise her, however, because she was paralyzed, so he gave me custody of her as well, But he didn’t want to pay child support or alimony. I didn’t blame him because I constantly reminded myself to think of others first.
Two years later, I wanted to sell my house and needed my ex-husband’s signature. I then found out that he had lied about paying the mortgage, the medical expenses for our daughter, and the car loan. I had to put off selling the house. My parents and relatives were angry when they heard about this. I remained calm by following the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance and remembering what Master said: “What we teach, by contrast, is that you can change a tough situation just by compromising a little.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I then decided to try to sell my house again the following year. I went to my ex-husband’s workplace to talk to him. I remained calm and compassionate and said that I needed his signature in order to sell the house. He quickly agreed, but something was on his mind. My sister-in-law then asked if he was worried about the alimony he had never paid me. So I signed a note stating that I wouldn’t ask for any alimony and gave it to him.
After my divorce, I still took my daughters to visit their paternal grandmother whenever I could. I would bring a gift or some money for my former mother-in-law because I knew my ex-husband’s financial situation wasn’t too good as his girlfriend didn’t work. My former mother-in-law refused to take the gifts at first, thinking that I was trying to get alimony from her son in return. I told her that I didn’t want his money and that I only wished them well. I also told her to remember that “Falun Dafa is good, and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” She smiled and said that she would.
Another time when I took my daughters to see their grandma, a sedan drove up and a man got out. It was my ex-husband. I told him that we had come to visit his mother. He claimed that he didn’t recognize us and left. He had not seen my daughters or me for the past 20 years because he was afraid that I would ask for alimony. My daughters were upset with their dad, but I told them, “Your father isn’t a bad man. He’s just afraid that we would ask him for money. We are practitioners, so we won’t fight for that kind of thing.” My children and I have been practicing Dafa for over 20 years now.
Since my divorce, my children and I have relied on my minimal income to survive. We have been living according to the standards of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, and the income I make from my small business has helped us manage to get by all these years.