Letting Go of Human Attachments, and Sincerely Apologizing to My Family
(Minghui.org) My mother-in-law's 27 family members all started practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. Regretfully, I did not take up the practice until twenty years later.
At this year's family gathering for the Dragon Boat Festival, I sincerely apologized to every family member that I had hurt. I apologized to them one by one, starting from my mother-in-law. Almost everyone shed tears. I had never seen such a scene before.
Because I had realized my wrongdoing over the years, my apologies were from the heart. My relatives sensed my sincerity, and their tears expressed their understanding and forgiveness for the harm that I had caused due to my selfishness and sentimentality.
From that day on, the family atmosphere changed. It was like the “Buddha’s light shines everywhere.” Dafa can really help people's hearts become good, and make family relationships become harmonious.
I didn’t follow Master’s Fa teachings and cultivate my character in the past. I thought I'd be fine as long as I read the Fa, did the exercises and completed the “three things.” I even thought that I'd cultivated better than my brothers and sisters.
After I had finished reading the Fa, and put down the book, I did whatever I wanted. Not only did I not get rid of my attachments, but I gained new ones. I lived with everyday people and was influenced by them; I devoted myself to running my business, exhausting myself physically and mentally.
On April 28 this year, I felt like I was suffocating, and couldn’t breathe. I begged Master for help. Fellow practitioners and family members sent forth righteous thoughts for me, and shared their understandings from the Fa.
We did that for a few nights, but my situation didn't improve. I was rushed to hospital on May 4, but everything was found to be fine on the results from the check-up. Still, I was hospitalized for a few days for observation. The doctors didn't find anything wrong with me, and suspected that I was just depressed due to family conflicts.
After returning home, I realized that my only hope was to study the Fa and look inward. I had never looked inward during my many years of cultivation, and didn’t know how to. My family and fellow practitioners helped me to find a lot of my attachments. Because I hadn’t studied the Fa solidly, I didn’t really have a clear understanding of believing in Master and Dafa. I knew that Master had already purified my body, because I had not been ill for twenty years, but I still insisted on buying medical insurance.
I also opened a business that sold healthbeds. The business was good. Some customers knew that we had not been ill for many years, and thought that I had benefited from using a healthbed.
In order to make money, I let others think that way, instead of telling them that it's Falun Dafa and Master who purified my body. This was an act of stealing from the Fa. A practitioner should never do that. After finding these attachments, the feeling of being suffocated seemed to lessen.
I then looked for other attachments. When I couldn’t find any, I begged Master to give me a hint. Master helped me enlighten to the fact that I had the attachment of jealousy. My husband also reminded me of how I blamed my mother-in-law for taking my things and giving them to others, and how I had hurt her feelings multiple times over trivial things.
I was once displaced, and my child went missing. My brother-in-law helped to find him, but I wasn't grateful to him, and was rude instead. Five people in our family were arrested and sentenced for practicing Falun Dafa. While the family was suffering, I didn’t act positively, and instead created extra worry for them.
Many years later, I opened the store. My youngest sister came to help sell products after she was released from prison. She did well, but all I could do was complain, which made her quit the job.
My husband helped me to find my attachments, especially that of jealousy. And once I had seen these attachments in myself, I decided to get rid of them.
Finally, I realized that the root of my attachments were connected to my business, which strengthened my attachment to personal gain. I regarded the business as part of my life. It was very hard to get rid of, but I made up my mind and made a promise in front of Master’s portrait that, since the family had sufficient resources to live on, I would close the store.
When the new owner came to take over the store, my heart was heavy. I had been running this store for more than ten years. Fellow practitioners reminded me that my attachments to self interest and sentimentality were an obstacle that I didn't want to get rid of.
I understood that the attachment was also a life, and I had allowed it to have power. Through cultivation I understood more Fa principles, and as I let go of attachments, I felt more at peace.
However, on the evening of July 4, the feeling of being suffocated came on more severely. I felt that I was covered by something, and had no strength at all. I thought, “This is persecution by the old forces. What are the other attachments that I haven’t let go of?”
I realized that there was another attachment hidden in my heart, which I didn't dare to speak about. I didn't want to worry my husband, but now I had to completely expose it.
I had lent someone 500,000 yuan without telling my husband, and the money was never returned. I had been afraid of telling him, but now I confessed.
My husband said that he already knew about it, and so did the rest of my family. It was just that nobody had ever brought it up. I was very embarrassed and felt guilty. I had lent the money out of personal interest. The tolerance shown by my family allowed me to let go of this attachment that had been hidden in my heart for a very long time.
Maybe my determination to get rid of all my attachments stirred up the evil's madness, and I once again experienced being suffocated.
My mother-in-law and husband were by my side. My mother-in-law's third eye is open. She saw that a glowing red net was about to cover me up. She sent forth righteous thoughts with my husband. But the net was strong, and the holes torn by my mother-in-law’s righteous thoughts were quickly repaired. My mother-in-law asked for Master’s help. Soon, the net was broken and disappeared, and I was no longer suffocating.
The evil came for me again in a different way, and formed a sort of barbed wire fence that surrounded me. I quickly became powerless. I felt that the barbed wire was composed of the CCP's evil spirit. My mother-in-law sent forth righteous thoughts and shouted in her mind: “Eliminate it! Eliminate it! The Fa rectifies the universe, eliminates all evil! The Fa rectifies the world, ensures karmic retribution!” She kept sending forth righteous thoughts.
The barbed wire prevented me from speaking. I begged Master with a strong thought: “No matter whether I signed a contract with the old forces or not, I deny it all.”
With Master’s strengthening, the evil finally collapsed, and disappeared. Master saved me, and I finally passed this massive test.
The entire tribulation lasted for about three months, which made me realize the seriousness of cultivation. I now know that only by treating the Fa seriously, can I be Master’s disciple.
Believing in Master and the Fa is fundamental to defeating all evil. It was with this power that I managed to let go of everything, and apologized to the relatives that I had hurt. The power of the Fa is enormous and can transform anything.
I am sincerely thankful for Master’s great blessings, thankful for the tolerance and understanding of my relatives, and thankful for the help of fellow practitioners.
I hope that practitioners who haven’t truly cultivated themselves yet, can learn a lesson from my experience, begin true cultivation as soon as possible, put down all attachments and study the Fa, look inward and become a true disciple of Master!