I Will Never be Able to Repay Master’s Mighty Compassion
(Minghui.org) I felt very lonely and sentimental before I started practicing Falun Dafa (also known as Falun Gong). I often shed tears, felt inferior and had a lot of self-pity. I was riddled with illnesses, such as rheumatoid arthritis, chest pains, heart disease, gastritis, uterine bleeding, and low blood pressure.
Losing My Grip on Life
My condition worsened in 1994, as I was always dizzy and had amnesia. My job involved handling money, but my vision was blurry, and I was absent-minded. Eventually, I had to take sick leave. I sought medical treatment, but none of them helped. I kept vomiting no matter whether I ate or not. I was unable to hold things, and if the door bellrang, I didn’t have the strength to open the door.
The doctor said that things would only get worse. My husband lost confidence in me, and him and his parents started ignoring me. Only my son came to check on me after school. He would put his hand under my nose to see if I was still breathing.
The coldness from my family made me resentful. I thought that the world was cruel, and life was bitter. I was tired of everything, and decided to give my son to my second eldest sister so that I would be able to leave this world without any worries. I wrote a suicide note and then went to my sister’s home to ask her to take care of my son. She knew what I was up to and refused to care for him.
I was still adamant about taking my life. I took my last photo, and talked to my mom over the phone. I wanted to have a meal with my son, but I couldn't find him. He had run away from home, because he had done something wrong and was afraid of his father beating him.
A Voice from the Sky
I was very worried and asked everyone to look for him. My sister said, “If you have the courage to die, why don’t you have the courage to live? What will happen to your son?”
I then gave up the idea of suicide. I can't be so selfish, and I have to live to raise my son.
After my son returned home, I decided to exercise to make myself stronger. I stayed up the whole night and went out when it was still dark. I was the only one walking on the quiet road. I was sad and all sorts of feelings filled my mind.
I suddenly heard a deep, rich voice coming from the sky, “You will be fine after this year!” I looked up in amazement. There were only a few stars in the sky, and no one was around.
Master Read Zhuan Falun to Me
I had been off work for two years by 1996, and was pale and skinny. I stopped by the office of my workplace. The head of the bureau there told me about Falun Gong, and said that I had a chance to be saved. He had spent time looking into the practice, and had witnessed some senior cadres with serious illnesses being cured by practicing Falun Gong.
He told me that he was going to Beijing in a few days to buy some Dafa books, so that others in the bureau would benefit from it. He suggested that I come back to work, and he would arrange an easy job for me so that I could concentrate on cultivating myself and having a healthy body. He told me, “Dafa is a great law with mighty virtue, which one may encounter but cannot pursue.”
The head of the bureau believed in Buddhas and Gods. He often did good deeds and believed in retribution. I was so sick that I wanted to give Falun Gong a try. The head of the bureau told me to read Zhuan Falun first with a clear mind.
I started reading the book after breakfast, and a miracle happened. I heard the same deep, rich voice from before, and it read the book to me. It was powerful, compassionate and peaceful in stereo sound. A magical force drove me to follow it. I listened, followed reading and learned from the book.
The principles of the book penetrated me. It was so beautiful and comfortable. It seemed that I had been waiting for this for so long. The years of worries and suffering had all vanished.
Tears streamed down from my face again and again. I had found the answers to many questions in life that I wanted to understand, but couldn’t. Such questions as, why does a person get sick? Why does one suffer hardship and conflicts?
My view of the world totally changed. Dafa opened my wisdom and lit up my heart. I read the whole book that night, and was surrounded by a powerful energy that was compassionate, peaceful and pure. I felt light and wonderful for the first time in my life. I was able to hear Master’s voice teaching the Fa from the sky whenever I became lazy. That was up until July 20, 1999, when the persecution started. That powerful voice encouraged me to keep advancing and to treasure such an opportunity.
In the early days, it seemed that a mechanism drove me to do the exercises again and again, without stopping. I didn’t know the importance of studying the Fa and only knew to do the exercises. When I practiced more, I would be able to walk so fast that my heels didn’t touch the ground. It seemed like I was floating.
Using Dafa's Principles to Solve Issues
A customer was once required to show his ID to me for business reasons. He didn’t have it with him, and didn't want to go back to get it. He yelled at me for a while before leaving.
I regarded myself as a practitioner and kept a calm mind, which I couldn’t have done if I didn’t cultivate. When the customer returned with his ID, he changed his attitude, and sincerely apologized to me.
I was in charge of a branch where most of the employees were not hardworking, were troublesome or unable to complete their tasks. My predecessor was reported on by them and was suspended from work, pending a review. As a result, no one wanted, or dared, to manage them for fear of suffering a similar fate.
The head of the bureau knew that I practice Falun Gong, and asked me to take over. He said that I could fire anyone who made trouble for me. At the time, unemployment was high and I didn’t want to see people lose their jobs. I wanted to manage them to do well.
I managed to update some of the equipment when I took over. But then, one of the staff took one of the new phones home, and replaced it with an old one. I just simply told her to return the new one the next day, after I found out what happened. I was calm and peaceful. Everyone thought that I would make a big fuss about it since I just took on this new post, and might punish someone to set an example. But it wasn't the case.
Since an employee and I had exceptional performance records, everyone in the branch was able to collect their full salary and get a bonus, including those who didn’t do their jobs well. I do my best to help people personally and professionally. Many of us have benefited, which led to us being the envy of other branches.
It was very cold that winter, and the heating system didn’t work well. People wore thick coats at work, but still complained about the cold. I wore a thin one but didn’t feel cold, instead I felt heat flowing in and out of my body. One employee said, “You don’t feel cold because of your practice.”
I had been undergoing fundamental changes physically and mentally since I started practicing Falun Dafa. I was surrounded by a powerful energy field, which was very comfortable and pleasant. I was gentle, calm and at peace.
Several subordinates once reported me to the general bureau claiming that I took money that was assigned to our branch at the beginning of the year. It made the officials in the general bureau both angry and laugh, because there was never such a fund.
The head of the bureau decided to handle the case personally, and said, “These people are wolves and are muddy-headed. Firing a few of them will silence them.”
But if they were fired, what would they do in the future? How would they face their families, friends and neighbors? They may write themselves off as hopeless and act recklessly. I felt bad for them. I could not have their lives ruined.
I was told that I could fire anyone on spot, but decided to take a step back and treat the staff involved with compassion. The people who gave me trouble were reprimanded. I didn’t hate or blame anyone, and settled the matter with a calm and peaceful mind.
The staff praised my kindness, and said that anyone else wouldn’t have spared them. Since then, they respect me more and have become nicer to me and to others.
I know that I would not have such a broad mind if I wasn’t practicing Falun Dafa.
Parading one’s superiority and striving to outshine others led me to have so many illnesses. Luckily, I attained Dafa, which has purified my heart and taught me the true meaning of life.
Dafa has given me a new lease on life. I will never be able to repay Master’s mighty benevolence.
At the next meeting, I was praised for my morality, noble demeanor, and outstanding performance. My work was highly appreciated.