(Minghui.org) A conflict with a team lead at work helped reveal one of my deeply rooted attachments.
At work, I need to work with patients who speak many different languages. A leader from another team once asked if I could switch a Cantonese-speaking patient with her team member who spoke the same language because I could not speak Cantonese. I was not convinced and said to her, “I have been communicating with her in Mandarin and there has not been any problem.” She said, “You are from a different culture. I will give you a patient who speaks a different language.”
I was infuriated and replied, “How is the culture different? We all speak Chinese. What is the point of giving me someone who speaks another language?”
She replied, “Can't you speak English?” I knew that people who were switched out were difficult patients. If they don't speak English, I will have to find an interpreter, which will waste my time. Usually teams switch patients who speak the same language. I thought she was being ridiculous.
I was indignant. All of my co-workers who witnessed what happen thought she was being unreasonable. When my team lead found out about it, she said to me, “She is bossy like that. She did not even consult me.” She then suggested that I call the patient to ask who he wanted to stay with. So it ended on that note.
On my way home, the incident replayed in my mind. Although my patient stayed with me, I was not happy about how I handled the situation. I knew that I should not have fought with the team lead, but I could not control myself. I didn't know how to suppress my human notions and follow the requirements of the Fa.
I asked myself what bothered me, and why I was so upset, as if I had been insulted. I knew that my self-esteem and self-interest were affected. Then I recalled Master's Fa teaching on divvying up apples, from the Guangzhou lectures. I realized that I was behaving exactly like that. When I was listening to the lectures, I was thinking, if something like this happened to me, I would not be upset. It was just an apple. What’s the big deal? I would not be able to finish a big one anyway. I realized that it was because I did not like apples and therefore I was not upset. When it hit upon my self-interest and notions, I was no different from the person who got upset about the apples. I realized that I was wrong. I was so attached to my self-interest, and would not change my deeply held notions.
Looking back, what prevented me from looking inward was my notions that were developed among ordinary people. For example, I would think, without hesitation, “This should be done this way.” “You cannot do that!” These might seem right on the surface. However, in the eyes of the divine, the unreasonable arrangement was right for me. It was being used to test me. To them, the most important thing is the elevation of my character.
Master taught us:
“The very act of using human thinking to stress who’s right and who’s wrong is in itself wrong. That’s because you are then using the logic of ordinary people to evaluate yourself, and using that logic to make demands on others. As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is precisely your managing to eliminate those attachments rooted in your human thinking as you cultivate that counts as important. (Applause) If you can manage to handle things calmly no matter how wronged you may feel, if you can remain unmoved and not try to come up with some kind of excuse for yourself, then with many things you won’t even need to argue.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X)
Notions are like protective umbrellas for attachments. Only when you let go of the notions can you use the Fa to measure yourself, and your well-hidden attachments such as self-interest are exposed.
How can we avoid being influenced by human notions? Master said:
“Any type of habit that you form is in fact a material product. In other dimensions that material is there, and only thus does that state manifest here in this dimension.”
“And as for the habits that you’ve formed over time, those stem from your various attachments.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X)
My understanding is that whatever happens, no matter what you see or hear, try not to react to them with human notions, such as emotions, values, and judgements. Instead, we should treat them with righteous thoughts and compassion. We will then not form notions easily.
Once I enlightened to these principles, a warm current came down from my head. I felt that Master had removed bad thoughts and notions from me. In the following few days, I had new understandings when I read Zhuan Falun, and when I sent righteous thoughts my energy field became increasingly purer. I have enlightened to the Fa principle that once one’s xinxing improves, the whole body will elevate as a result.
The above are my personal understandings. Kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Category: Improving Oneself
