My Understandings of Sickness Karma and Passing Tests
(Minghui.org) Master said: “I’d prefer not to even hear the word “illness.”” (The Second Talk, Zhuan Falun). Therefore, there is no such word “illness” in my mind. I look instead at the issue as just passing tests. I have seen fellow practitioners pass away because they failed to pass tests.
Troubled by Mosquitoes
I worked in Hainan Province before the persecution started. There were lots of mosquitoes in my apartment, so my roommates and I usually wrapped ourselves in thin blankets to sleep. One night, one of my roommates didn't have a blanket, so he borrowed mine.
That night, all the mosquitoes attacked me. I told myself not to be moved. Neither my body nor my heart should be disturbed. I recited what Master Li Hongzhi said before the fifth exercise “Reinforcing Supernatural Powers”:
“Compassion should arise in the heart, and the facial expression should be peaceful.” (Chapter II, The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection)
Countless mosquitoes landed on me and stung me, and raised bumps. I was still not moved. I eventually felt that the mosquitoes were sucking my karma out of me, and I felt fine.
Two weeks later, my roommate returned my blanket. Since then few mosquitoes have been stinging me. If they do, I don't feel anything.
Passing the Test of Life and Death
After passing this test, I had a fist-size abscess on my head. It seemed as if the mosquitoes had poisoned me. My heart was not moved, but the abscess really hurt for a long time. The pain cannot be described in mere words. Sometimes, it felt like thousands of needles poking my heart, and sometimes it was like swords stabbing into my head and agitating my organs.
My father (who is not a practitioner) consulted doctors. The doctors said that an abscess like that on the top of the head would make a lion moan in pain. They also said that I would die if I didn't have it treated.
The abscess also broke a few times, and the pus and blood ran down my back. I often passed out and had no energy due to the pain. When it happened, I didn't have the energy to walk, so I crawled over to the bookcase where I kept all my Dafa books, just to get closer to Dafa. I also kowtowed to Master and the books with great respect.
The abscess also stunk. Some fellow practitioners didn't let me to come to the exercise site to avoid negatively impacting Dafa's image. Some practitioners believed that I was facing the test of life and death, so I should be allowed to go to the exercise site. I was 25 years old back then. A fellow practitioner, five years younger than I, took the bus daily after work and traveled a long distance to my apartment to read the Fa with me. I still remember that today.
It took me eight months to pass this test. Whenever I looked at Master's portrait during that time, Master looked serious. I said, “Don't worry, Master. I will pass this test.”
My boss at work asked me if I’d seen a doctor. I told him, “I am a cultivator, and I need to behave like Buddha Milarepa.” My boss gave me a thumbs-up and said, “You really have strength.” (I was afraid of having a bad impact on Dafa's image, so I didn't tell him that I was a Falun Dafa practitioner.)
Eight months had passed when I suddenly realized that the severe pain that I had endured came from Master's boundless compassion, and that I could not pay Master back even if I sacrificed my own life. When this thought came to me, I knelt down in front of Master's portrait and sobbed. All I could do was to kowtow.
The abscess broke again that night. Pus and blood-soaked my clothes. After that, the abscess began to heal, and the pain got less and less. I finally passed this test.
After I passed this test, my head felt empty and immense when I was doing the sitting meditation. It felt incredibly immense—as if it could shelter the whole universe and countless celestial bodies. The human world was very, very far away from me, as if it had nothing to do with me. The human world and I didn't belong to the same system.
Ability to Endure Torture
This test happened before July 20, 1999. When I looked at the physical torture meted out in the human world, all of it seemed to be minor. I felt like none of it could move my heart. Dafa has given me a great ability to endure. No brainwashing or torture would change me.
After the persecution began, I was persecuted because I clarified the truth about Falun Dafa to people. I was severely tortured. Six ribs were broken from the beatings. They put over 25-pound shackles on my ankles. These made holes in my body, some so deep that the bones showed. I survived all of this with a calm demeanor. The more they beat me, the more they strengthened my resolve. My belief in Master and Dafa was as solid as diamond. I saw my heart becoming a piece of shining diamond. The pain caused by the torture was nothing compared to the pain caused by the abscess.
The evil in the other dimensions also tried to persecute me. Just like in the Buddhist stories where evil attacked Buddha Sakyamuni, the evil in the other dimensions nailed me to a cross and poured boiling water over me.
The test was hard to pass when the evil in the human world and in the other dimensions attacked me at the same time. But the Fa also manifested to me magnificent scenes, telling me that if I was able to pass this test, I would go back to my true self.
“Empty the bottle of all its filth, and it wouldn’t sink down anymore even if you were to push it down. It will float on the water’s surface, and that is where it’s supposed to be.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Founding Ceremony of the Singaporean Falun Dafa Association,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. I)
I started to do the exercises at home after being released. As I was doing them on the ninth day, I felt as if a giant hand held both sides of my chest and pushed the broken ribs together. The bones healed immediately. I knew that it was Master's hand.
Experiencing the Power of Dafa
When I later told a fellow practitioner about this, I saw Master's portrait on the wall of the practitioner's living room talking to me. I could see lines of golden words in the air. I heard Master's voice, solemn and compassionate, saying, “Son, if you can pass every torture with righteous thoughts, in the future, even if you reincarnate or experience brainwashing, you will come back to me.”
Right after that, a paragraph of Fa teaching revealed itself to me:
“Do you still remember how one time when I was teaching the Fa, a student asked whether a cultivator could cultivate to an Attainment Status higher than where his life had originally come into being? If a cultivator can let go of the thought of life and death under any circumstance, evil is sure to be afraid of him. If every student is able to do this, evil will of itself no longer exist.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s),” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I was enlightened that during this special period, we will be able to transcend and go beyond our original selves. But that means we really must let go of everything. We can't hold on to any fear, or the attachments to fame and money, or qing; we can’t harbor any notions; we even have to let go of everything in the realm where our original selves were formed; we must sincerely respect Master and the Fa; we must only have Master and the Fa in our minds; and our only desire must be to assimilate to the Fa.
Another time, I was riding a motorcycle when I saw a bulletin board that was a good place for me to put up some Dafa posters. I was happy but didn't see a downhill in front of me. The motorcycle flipped over, and my knee was broken. I didn't pay much attention to it, but the wound got bigger and deeper, and the bone was showing. It got quite infected.
A fellow practitioner, who is a physician, said it looked pretty bad, so I started to send forth righteous thoughts to it periodically, five minutes every time. When I did, I felt heat in my knee, and pus drained out. After sending forth righteous thoughts at midnight, I went to bed. The next morning, the wound was completely healed. It was as if nothing had happened.
Two years ago, I accidentally inhaled a lot of foreign matter, such as glass, rock, and plastic, when I was trying to fix a pipe. I coughed, and blood came out of my mouth. I could feel the foreign matter in my lungs, and I could barely breathe, which caused severe pain.
During the next few days, I often coughed blood and even rock and plastic debris. My family members were scared, but I was not moved. I read the Fa, did the exercises, and sent forth righteous thoughts.
My primordial soul left my body at that time and saw that my lungs were full of foreign matter. Fifteen days later I saw Master sending out a Falun and spinning it with one hand. All the foreign matter melted. My lungs were completely healed.
Dafa has shown its power on my body again and again. What I have described above is only a small part of what I experienced.
I would like to tell my fellow practitioners how great our Master is and how powerful Dafa is. I hope that my experiences will give us all more confidence. Let us strive forward diligently together and do better on our journey of cultivation.