Falun Dafa Helps Me Overcome My Pursuit of Beauty and Lust
(Minghui.org) At one point in my life I was obsessed with my appearance and continually sought ways to become prettier. I was a vain woman who garnered many praises for my good looks until I began a life of cultivation in Falun Dafa.
During my first year at the university I wanted to make my face smaller and sharper, in line with fashionable aesthetic trends at that time. I secretly visited a hospital for Botox injections in order to shrink my jaw muscles. Unexpectedly, the procedure paralyzed my mouth to the extent that I was unable to smile or chew food properly! Moreover the procedure created an uneven dent in my jawline. Looking at my disfigured face, I regretted undergoing the procedure.
A few years later, I got married and became pregnant. However the pregnancy was not successful and I suffered a spontaneous miscarriage. The resultant stress caused my weight to drop to a mere 80 pounds. For a person 5 foot 3 inches in height, I looked incredibly emaciated. Unable to stand my appearance, I decided to undergo a complete makeover. At the hospital I opted to receive treatment for every possible facial area and spent more than a hundred thousand yuan ($14,000). I was determined to regain my original beauty, no matter the cost. Doctors injected hyaluronic acid dermal fillers to my forehead, temples, nose, cheeks, nasolabial folds and chin. After the procedure, my entire face was so swollen, painful and inflamed that I could barely sleep that night.
After enduring a painful recovery period, my skin became firmer and my face took on a youthful glow. Friends and strangers alike began offering praises such as, “Your beauty is outstanding. Have you thought of becoming a movie star?” My heart swelled with happiness. To be able to receive such praises, whatever discomfort I suffered during the recovery period was worth it!
Gradually, I began to set higher and higher standards for my appearance. I would undergo high-frequency ultrasound therapy whenever my skin appeared to be dull. To lighten my skin tone, I would fly to Taiwan for whitening injections. I was even preparing to undergo autologous stem cell therapy when my health took a turn for the worse. Parts of my face began to stiffen, my lower jaw started skewing to one side and I began suffering painful migraines. My body involuntarily started leaning to the left and my skin became so dull and gray that no amount of makeup could cover it. One side of my pelvis became higher than the other, which resulted in an uneven walking gait.
I was terrified! I sought help from a famous specialist, only to have her tell me my condition was incurable. My husband, originally a supporter of my aesthetic treatments, also began to ridicule me, saying that my face was so mismatched it was as if each half belonged to a separate person.
A year later, I migrated overseas where I began to practice Falun Dafa. Having firm faith in Master Li Hongzhi’s teachings, I began to hold myself to the standards of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I soon realized that my pursuit of aesthetic beauty is actually a very strong attachment, partially driven by an aspect of attachment to lust.
From the start, Master Li arranged lessons for me in an attempt to help eliminate my attachment to lust. During my first week of cultivation practice, I experienced a dream where many men surrounded me and asked to engage in sex. At that time, my mind was clear. “I am a Falun Dafa practitioner! Leave me!” The men instantly vanished and I woke up. After that, I continued to experience several similarly themed dreams. Each time I sent righteous thoughts, reprimanded them into leaving, or just reminded myself that I am not supposed to have such desires as a cultivator of Falun Dafa. One morning, I absently glanced at myself in the mirror and discovered that my left-leaning posture had become straight! I could hardly believe my eyes.
I separated from my husband soon after learning Falun Dafa cultivation practice. From then on, lustful and erotic thoughts were entirely eliminated from my head and now I feel much lighter and relaxed. Surprisingly, my relationship with my husband improved. We are now close friends who confide in each other.
Over time, with increasing cultivation experience, I find myself striving to do better according to Master's requirements. Previously I spent all my free time thinking about places to eat, entertainment to enjoy and how to become beautiful. Now, I frequently send forth righteous thoughts at regular intervals, in addition to studying Zhuan Falun and other Fa teachings daily. Over time, my entire appearance underwent an amazing makeover! My skin is rosy and elastic, my facial structure is more refined, my slanted lower jaw returned to normal and my misaligned pelvis became straight. Even my husband was shocked when he saw my appearance and commented, “You look so much better after cultivation practice!”
I have at last eliminated my attachment to fashionable clothing and external appearances. My wardrobe is comprised of simple pieces and I no longer wear any makeup. Now, my greatest pride and satisfaction is found in seeing my natural self.