Changing Negative Thinking and Treating Others Compassionately
(Minghui.org) Before I started practicing Falun Dafa, I always gave my husband and son many instructions before they left home. They complained that I was too negative, but I felt that I was showing them how much I cared and that it was only for their sake. I acted like they could not tell right from wrong, and I did not realize that I was the one who had a problem.
After I started practicing Falun Dafa, I continued to behave like this until two incidents made me recognize the harm caused by negative thinking.
In the countryside, we cook with cornstalks, which become dry and crisp in the springtime. Once, when my husband was using a cornstalk to cook, I saw how sharp the broken end of the stalk was and thought, “Don’t cut your hand.” He immediately cut a deep gash in his thumb.
The second event had to do with my granddaughter. She was only a newborn who could not crawl yet. I worried that she would fall off the bed because it was higher than most beds. So I bought foam mats to cover the floor around the bed.
Two days later, my daughter-in-law came over for a meal. Both of us heard a loud thud. We ran to the bedroom to check on the baby and found her lying on the floor with her face up. It seemed that she had flipped and then fell to the floor. But she could not even crawl, so how was it possible for her to fall like this? I became alert.
“All your attachments, as long as you have them, all have to be worn down in different settings. You will stumble, and from that grasp the truth. That’s how you cultivate.” (“The Fourth Talk” in Zhuan Falun)
I carefully reflected upon these two events and realized that the negative thoughts came from my emotional attachment to my family members. As a cultivator, clinging to attachments harms both oneself and others. One cannot truly help family members, let alone enlighten sentient beings, while holding on to emotion. I decided to take my cultivation seriously, remove the attachments that formed the negative thinking, and eliminate my human notions.
Changing Preconceived Notions About Family
In China today, it has become an unwritten rule that after a young couple has a child, the child is typically taken care of by a grandmother. Moreover, the mother-in-law is expected to wash clothes, cook, and clean the house. If the young couple is not satisfied, they feel justified in criticizing the older person.
“...Benevolence, devotion, propriety, or trustAre no more, owing to the change in people's heartsEveryone hastens the moral declineDisasters of every sort could strike any time”(“Why Do Disasters Abound?” in Hong Yin III)
As a mother-in-law and a Dafa practitioner, I know the true way to treat a child well is to teach them Falun Dafa's principles of “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance” as opposed to just giving them money or taking care of household chores.
When my daughter-in-law (prior to their marriage) visited my home for the Chinese New Year, I gave her a pure gold ring inherited from my father-in-law. Some of my relatives worried that if she did not marry my son and then refused to give back the ring, it would hurt me. However, I was very calm because I am a practitioner and seek nothing.
After she married my son, I treated her just like my own daughter. If we shopped together, both of us would try to pay the bill. We once shopped for shoes for her. The salesperson said, “You don’t look like mother and daughter, but you feel like it.”
I said we were mother and daughter-in-law. She said, “I envy your good relationship. There are not many people like you and your daughter-in-law, who can deal with each other harmoniously.”
I told her that I practice Falun Dafa, follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and treat everyone kindly, let alone my own daughter-in-law.
Now my granddaughter is six years old, and her mother takes care of her. My family fully understands and supports my involvement in Dafa projects, and they are blessed with health and safety from my practice of Dafa.
Displaying True Compassion
Two fellow practitioners and I went to a village to distribute informational materials about Dafa. We became separated. When I came out of a house, they asked if we could leave because a couple of men had threatened to report us to the police. They motioned to me that it was the two middle-aged men standing not too far away.
I knew that if we left like this, whether the two men reported us or not, that one evil thought would put them in danger. If they had no chance to listen to accurate information about Dafa, they could experience a future calamity when the CCP is held accountable for its crimes.
My compassion emerged. I asked Master to strengthen my righteous thoughts to give them a chance to listen to the facts. So I walked up to them with dignity. One of them said, “Why haven't you left yet? If you don't go, I will call the police.” He took out his cell phone.
I smiled and said, “There now, you don't have to rush. Listen to me first and then decide.” Meanwhile, I sent righteous thoughts to remove the evil elements behind him.
“You may not know why we came to tell you about Falun Dafa. Many people have believed the lies that Jiang Zemin told the world and hate Dafa as a result. Please think about it. Falun Dafa promotes Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and its followers align themselves with these principles. Who can say it’s not good?”
I continued, “A hundred million people in more than a hundred countries are practicing Dafa. If it’s not good, would there be so many people practicing it? Why have these people not given it up after the CCP started its bloody crackdown almost twenty years ago? Jiang Zemin used the Party to persecute Dafa and its followers. It has committed such terrible crimes and will be held accountable for its crimes by heaven.”
“The way to save yourselves is to quit your memberships in the CCP. That’s why we’ve come to your village. The wise people here have already chosen to quit the Party to stay safe. You shouldn’t follow Jiang Zemin by committing crimes against practitioners. What you just said is because of Jiang’s lies about Dafa. If you know the facts, you wouldn’t report good people even if you’re told to.”
He looked sheepish and agreed to quit the Young Pioneers and the Communist Youth League using a pseudonym. The other man used his real name to quit the Party and both youth organizations. They behaved like different people afterward. If I had cared only about my own safety and left quickly, the result would have been different. When we changed our thoughts to align with the standard of Dafa, the divine power of Dafa manifested.
As Master says,
“...Yet sentient beingsdo still gain salvation,And human notions change,The degenerate things purged,Brightness now shines forth.”(“Born Anew” from Hong Yin)
In reviewing my past twenty-two years of Dafa practice, I went from being a sick, timid, and selfish person to a healthy, considerate person with an open mind, who will be eternally grateful for Master's guidance. Whenever I fail to cultivate well, I am very regretful. I have to diligently do the things practitioners should do to not let Master down.