My Life Changed after Improving Myself from the Heart
(Minghui.org) My life used to be filled with such suffering that I ended up on the brink of despair. Fortunately, I began to practice Falun Dafa and Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of the practice, rescued me, and it's the Great Buddha Law that has changed me.
Dafa Saved Me
After I got married, I discovered that my husband was an alcoholic. We had many conflicts and often quarreled. He drank so much and frequently came home late after work.
In our second year of marriage, I became pregnant. This should have been a happy event for us, but when I was three months pregnant I learned that my husband was having an affair. I was just 27 at the time, and my life was so miserable that I felt I would be better off dead.
I tried to divorce my husband several times, but he would not agree to it. As the days passed, my resentment grew.
At that time, a Falun Dafa practitioner gave me the book Zhuan Falun to read. Because of my strong attachments, I didn’t really begin to practice then. It wasn't until 2012 that I sincerely began cultivating.
That year, my husband had a lot of debts. The creditors couldn't find him and came to my house to make a scene. In despair, I started to read the treasured Falun Dafa book. It is Master and Dafa that saved me.
Letting Go of Attachments
By March 2017, my relationship with my husband had been bad for several years and our financial situation was very tight. When I found out that I was pregnant again, I told my husband, “I am a Dafa practitioner and I will keep this child.”
We had several arguments about this. It was clear that my husband had many debts and didn't have the means to raise another child. Over the past ten years, I had maintained our home on my own meager salary. But when I thought of Master's Fa, I knew that it was arranged for that life to be reincarnated in my home, and I couldn't ignore it.
My husband did not take care of me when I was pregnant and quarreled with me when he got drunk. I was under tremendous pressure both physically and mentally. Although it was difficult, I was able to overcome it all because I had the Fa in my heart.
Reflecting on my cultivation state, I realized that I resented my husband and that this was hurting him, too. I knew I should forgive him, be more considerate of him, and stop hating him and thinking badly of him.
One afternoon, there wasn't much to do at work so I went home early. I was studying the Fa when my husband showed up with another woman. I knew this woman and knew what was going on, but I didn't say anything. Although I endured this and did not start a fight, I started to resent him again.
I shared this with fellow practitioners who asked me to look inward and study the Fa more.
I realized that, for many years, I had been very unconcerned about my husband and ignored him. So I really had to let go of these bad attachments and consider my husband by looking at his strengths and not his shortcomings. And I should improve and cultivate myself.
When I talked to my husband, I could see that he was frightened. When he'd had an affair when I was pregnant ten years before, we simply quarreled and split up. I phoned his parents and told his relatives and friends what he'd done, making life difficult for him.
We argued for nearly five years over that, until I really started to cultivate in 2012. After that, I stopped quarreling with him, but I hadn’t completely freed myself from the matter, either.
I knew I was not the person I used to be, because I was now a practitioner. Master wants us to be good people that follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I had to listen to Master and make my family environment more positive so that they could experience the beauty of Dafa.
I silently endured and told my husband, “I am practicing Falun Dafa now, and I will not hurt anyone. Master teaches us to be considerate of others. I will not do what I did before, but you have to be responsible for your family and children and resist bad influences. I will give you some time so that you can handle this well.”
During this time, I studied the teachings a lot and did everything according to the Fa's principles. I paid attention to removing my attachments, such as negative thoughts concerning my husband, resentment, looking down on him, and competitiveness.
However, he was still in contact with the “other woman.” Once I read a message she'd sent using WeChat. She was still seducing my husband! After reading it, I was upset. Whenever I was jealous, I just studied the Fa. I realized that everything has its own karmic relationship.
Our Family Is Bathed in the Buddha's Light
I no longer argued with my husband and really started to care about him. Tears came to my eyes, thinking: “He has been poor for so many years because of his debts that he doesn't even have a decent suit. Yet I have still been looking down on him and even resenting him.”
I put down my resentment, let go of the things that made me suffer, and my heart was full of compassion. Just as Master said: “...there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!” (Lecture Nine in Zhuan Falun)
When I truly made sincere adjustments from the heart, huge changes occurred in our family.
In the past, my husband never took care of our family and seldom ate at home. After I improved my thinking and conduct, he made it a point to be home for meals every day. At noon, he got lunch ready, waiting for me and my son to return to eat. On the surface, it seemed that he was looking after me because I was pregnant. But, in fact, I was clear in my heart that it was the Fa that changed everything.
Only when I had a deeper understanding of “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun) did my husband start to change.
My husband suddenly fell ill due to years of alcoholism and lack of sleep and decent food. Unable to afford the hospital, he had to stay at home and suffer. Without any resentment towards him, I used all my wages for his medical treatment and told him that he would be blessed if he believed, “Falun Dafa is good.”
I gave him his favorite foods and took care of him. He began to smile and his worried look gradually disappeared. For so many years, I'd rarely seen him smile at me sincerely. I only remembered him swearing at me with a furious look. After a while, he started to get better and his spirits improved.
My husband witnessed all the ways I'd changed and kept them in his heart. Before and after our second child was born, he was busy with a lot of housework. After our daughter was born, he jumped up and down in the delivery room. With the infant in his arms, he was so happy holding something so valuable and precious.
My husband now devotes himself to our family, preparing meals for me and our children every day, checking our son’s homework in the evening, and holding our baby daughter. I am very surprised at how he has changed. My home is bathed in the Buddha's light as my husband and our children have benefited so much from Dafa.