Letting Go of Attachments
(Minghui.org) I am a 58-year-old Falun Dafa practitioner. The winter in Northeastern China is particularly cold. It was extremely bad in the city where I was living in the winter of 2012. With the temperature reaching minus 20 degrees Celsius in the daytime, the streets were empty.
However, this actually proved to be very helpful with clarifying the truth to people using my cell phone. For security reasons, it is always best to go outside to make phone calls, so I could walk anywhere and talk freely. It didn't matter if I was a little louder when talking, as there was no one around.
The only downside was that being out in the cold made the attachment of fear arise in me – a fear of the cold.
Every day at around noon, when my father returned home from work, my younger sister, also a Dafa practitioner, would ask him if it was cold outside. When I heard him say that it's too cold, these words made my entire body feel cold.
There was a blizzard one day, and my sister and I were out walking and talking. The snow kept hitting my face, like knives slashing my skin. I couldn't take it any longer, and turned to my sister and said, “I am not walking anymore. It’s too cold.”
My sister, who had only been practicing Falun Dafa for six months, did not feel the cold. I knew that something was wrong in my cultivation, as I was dressed up to the hilt and was still freezing.
I didn't know my shortcoming and was very anxious. I decided to look inward on the way back home and found some answers. However, they weren't what I was expecting.
I found jealousy. I was jealous of my sister not feeling the cold.
“For if someone is doing well, instead of feeling happy for him or her, people’s minds will feel uneasy” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I also found attachments to fame, as I became anxious and felt despondent when people didn't want to listen to me or wouldn't quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth organizations.
“When he cannot cure an illness, he drops his head and feels fizzled out. Isn’t it caused by his attachment to fame and personal gain?” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
But the root of my problem was the attachment of fear - fear of the cold.
I hadn't realized it before, because I always used ordinary people's ways of thinking instead of regarding myself as a cultivator. After I detected this attachment, I sent righteous thoughts for a long time to eliminate it.
From then on, I would walk along the streets, parks, or rivers, no matter how cold it was.
Fear of Being Persecuted
After being persecuted for my belief, my fear of the police intensified. When I went out to talk to people about Dafa, I was scared and trembled. When I came home, I found it hard to calm down and feel safe even in my own home.
However, no matter how scared I was, I always remained firm to go out to tell people about Dafa. Gradually, my fear lessened, but sometimes it still affected me. When my fear came, I recited Master’s poem,
“Should you have fear,it will seize upon youIf thoughts are righteous,evil will collapseThe cultivator’s mindis loaded with FaSend righteous thoughts,and rotten demons explodeGods walk the earth,validating the Fa(“What's to Fear” from Hong Yin Vol.II Translation Version A)
After reciting, my fear was gone.
I was very frightened when the CCP was very active in arresting practitioners. I was doing the exercises at 4:00 a.m. once when the doorbell rang. I knew that this was interference trying to frighten me, so I extended the length of time for sending righteous thoughts, and studied the Fa more until the fear was gone.
“Fear can cause one to make mistakes, and fear can cause one to lose a predestined opportunity. Fear is a death trap on a human being’s journey toward divinity.” (“Pass the Deadly Test” in The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)