Returning to My True Self
(Minghui.org) It is believed that one can’t be physically fit without being mentally fit. It is easy for us to feel–or for others to see–that our physical diseases have been removed with the help of Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa (Falun Gong). However, it is impossible for ordinary people to see that the bad thoughts in our minds have been removed at the same time.
In cultivation, I often have a feeling of great happiness whenever I find that my body has been cleaned up after my mind is purified, but this can’t be seen by those who do not cultivate. I can’t find words to express my endless gratitude and admiration to Master Li!
A Family Row
My wife and I were separated for a time. After being reunited with my wife, I took responsibility for cooking for the family every day. Although I had forgiven my wife, I was really upset with her when she kept complaining that the food I made was not pleasing to her palate.
I thought to myself: she was a Falun Dafa practitioner, too, so how could she behave like that? She also became picky about how I cleaned the kitchen stove, which was greasy and dirty after I finished cooking three meals a day for the family. The more I thought about this, the more I harbored resentment against her. Although I tried to hold back my anger in front of her, I couldn’t let it go inside myself.
Eventually, I found a cleaning product that worked well and indeed helped my kitchen look and smell much better. Satisfied after checking the kitchen, my wife gave me her thumbs-up. She believed that I could do everything well only if I took it seriously.
Three years have passed since I became reconciled with my wife. By quarreling with me, she has helped me to remove my attachment to holding grudges and resentment on the path of cultivation practice.
Learning How to Look Within
As a practitioner, I understand that I should always assimilate myself to the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, which will lead me to my true home.
In reality, I found it hard to do so all the time, especially in the cultivation of “Forbearance.” Quite often, when conflicts and contradictions arose, I would handle them in a dignified, graceful way like everyday people and with ordinary people's endurance, trying to console myself with Master’s words: “...suffering is repaying a karmic debt...” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun). I failed to look inward to find the attachments that might be causing the problem.
In April 2016, I was illegally detained for fifteen days for telling people about Falun Dafa and the persecution. It was then that I began to learn how to search my inner self.
By reading a lot of sharing articles by fellow practitioners in Minghui Weekly, I came to see why I was persecuted in the detention center. It was because I was attached to excessive pride and self-satisfaction about my own achievements. I remembered that on the night I was clarifying the truth of Falun Gong to a dozen high school graduates, one of them reported me to the police. That was how I was sent to a detention center.
It was a serious lesson to learn. How could I talk in such a self-admiring way? One day, while reading an article in Minghui Weekly, I came across the word “humility.” I realized it was a word Master brought to my attention to enlighten me and remind me to be low-key and humble at all times. Consequently, I spent a lot of time reading sharing articles about how to look inward to find the causes inside myself. I’m grateful and pleased that I have now learned how to look within myself during tribulations.
Cultivating Myself While Clarifying the Truth
“I’ll tell you a truth: the entire cultivation process for a cultivator is one of constantly giving up human attachments.” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun)
I resumed my practice of Falun Dafa four years ago. On the very first day, I went out to tell people about Dafa, ignoring the advice given by a fellow practitioner that I’d better study the Fa well before clarifying the truth. However, I thought I should seize every single day to tell people the facts in order to pay debts that I owed.
I went to see one of my classmates from primary school to persuade him to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). When he asked me why he should quit, I was at a loss for a moment, then answered casually, “To isolate the CCP.” Apparently, it was not persuasive at all, and he left without signing the form to quit the CCP. That was a dreadful lesson from which I learned how important it was to study the Fa well and to read sharing articles by fellow practitioners in Minghui Weekly.
I was extremely pleased to see changes take place when Fa-study became a serious matter to me. The number of people I helped to quit the CCP increased day by day. Now I go out to clarify the truth face to face with people regardless of the weather or time of day.
I also believe that the process of clarifying the truth is also the process of cultivating one’s xinxing. I had many attachments, including fear, suspicion and lust. I had a strong attachment to lust and emotion. When I saw a woman, bad thoughts would come into my mind, and I did not dare to look at people squarely in the eye when talking to them about Dafa in public.
I made up my mind to get rid of those attachments, and I asked for Master’s help. About half a month later, I was surprised to find that I was able to hold my head high, smile, and look people in the eye when I was talking about Dafa.
However, the biggest challenge in my cultivation practice was how to get rid of the attachment of lust. The only way for me to do this was to study the Fa more diligently. I’m glad to see that my attachment to lust has now basically been removed.
Since I was a social media writer and had gathered a lot of information, I believed I could answer most general questions people raised.
One day a lady told me that she believed in the goodness of Falun Gong but was perplexed that Falun Gong was involved in politics by persuading people to quit the CCP. I explained, “In feudal China, those scholar-bureaucrats generally treasured the well-being of the nation and state. They believed in the principle, ‘A leader should plan and worry ahead of the people and enjoy the fruits after the people.’ But take a look at the reality today in China: there are so many corrupt officials of the CCP regime who are reckless with greed. So to quit the CCP is not a political issue but a moral one.”
I continued, “Unfortunately, today, we can hardly find any CCP officials who uphold the ethical standard of a scholar-bureaucrat of ancient times. This is a modern society where morals are declining tremendously. Why shouldn’t we choose to denounce the evil CCP?”
Apparently, what I said reminded her of the unfair treatment her son had received at his workplace. She was pleased to sign the form to withdraw from the CCP and wished to have another talk with me about the issue!
Endless Appreciation for Master’s Grace and Blessings
I suffered from chest pain for some time. One day, when I was doing the fourth exercise, I stretched my hands down to my lower legs, following the energy mechanisms. Suddenly it felt as if a large “lump” had dropped down inside my abdomen. I knew it was Master purifying my body for me. Even if I did feel pain occasionally, I continued to clarify the truth to others. In this way, day by day, little by little, my chest pain was gradually removed.
I was asked by fellow practitioners to give a talk about my personal experience of clarifying the truth to people. I made careful preparations for the talk before I went to meet our local Fa-study group. The next morning, when practicing the sitting meditation, I felt as if Master was pushing me to a higher level, and I soon entered into deep stillness.
I was inspired by other practitioners to join the effort to file criminal complaints against former Chinese dictator Jiang Zemin, who ordered the persecution of Falun Gong. I was victimized in the persecution. As I thought about this, a surge of energy suddenly came from the top of my head, and I knew that it was Master who bestowed me with such an extraordinary experience.
It was raining heavily the day after I finished writing my criminal complaint letter against Jiang. I made a phone call to a courier of an express delivery service company to meet me in my workplace to collect the letter. It took a long time before he turned up. He informed me that the service to deliver all letters to relevant government departments in Beijing was canceled. I figured out that it was probably because of my call to the courier that the local public security department later asked my employer to have a word with me in order to make me give up my legal case against Jiang Zemin.
I realized that the best way for me to send my complaint letter was by the ordinary mail service rather than express mail. This approach did work well for me. I shared the experience with fellow practitioners and was pleased to see that every complaint letter against Jiang was sent in this way thereafter. Every cloud does have a silver lining!
“When you sit there, you should feel wonderful and very comfortable as though you are sitting inside an eggshell; you will be aware of yourself practicing the exercise, but feel that your whole body cannot move. This is what must occur in our practice. There is another state in which after sitting for a while the legs disappear, and one cannot recall where the legs went. The body disappears, the arms disappear, the hands also disappear—only the head is left.” (Lecture Eight in Zhuan Falun)
Not surprisingly, I feel great when I do the fifth exercise. I can sometimes stay in such a wonderful state of mind for more than one hour.
The above are my wonderful experiences of practicing Falun Dafa that I would like to report to Master and share with fellow practitioners. Please correct me if there is anything inappropriate.