Removing Attachments, Repairing the Relationship with My Daughter
(Minghui.org) I am 73 years of age. I have been practicing Falun Dafa for sixteen years. I have two children and I lived by myself. My daughter is 48 years old and currently lives in Portugal pursuing a master’s degree in tourism studies. My son is 30 years old and a music teacher in Canada. My daughter and I have had a rocky relationship. She wanted me to come live with her in Portugal, and I ended up getting my own apartment when I arrived.
I have often asked myself why I came to Portugal. Slowly, I realized that I came to settle the differences between my daughter and me. The problems that naturally arose to cause discomfort were the ones that had to be dealt with.
Master taught us:
“Why can human beings be human? It is because human beings have qing. They live just for this qing. Affection among family members, love between a man and a woman, love for parents, feelings, friendship, doing things for the sake of friendship, and everything else all relate to this qing. Whether a person likes to do something or not, is happy or unhappy, loves or hates something, and everything in the entire human society comes from this qing. If this qing is not relinquished, you will be unable to cultivate. If you break free from this qing, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What comes and replaces it is benevolence, which is a nobler thing.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I originally did not want to live with my daughter. In order to eliminate the issues between us, I sold my apartment. It was in a small neighborhood in São Paulo, a beautiful, quiet little place.
I had many precious items in my apartment. My refrigerator still worked and the sofa used by my son was in good condition, as were the handcrafted tableware and my wedding crystal drinking glasses. Yet I had to sell each and every one of them. I felt such a loss.
With the help of a friend, I sold everything at low prices. Afterward, I often asked myself if I had gone mad. Nevertheless, I worked hard to calm my mind and see the situation for what it really was: just getting rid of some things.
My daughter and I, however, no longer fought, because I felt that I had truly changed as a person. I could suddenly see things from her perspective. Though we still have things that we do not completely agree upon, we just work through them.
Despite it all, I have the Fa to guide me. I will do my best to be a good person and continue to let go of my stubborn attachments.