Cultivating Well Within the Family Environment
(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1994, and with Master's protection, I have continued to cultivate through today.
“Whoever manages to remain steady while following this ordinary-society cultivation format, that person is truly doing what's best in this format of cultivation.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference VII)
“Since your path is to be left for the future, you must succeed in blazing it.”(Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York)
Master taught practitioners that our cultivation is for our main consciousness to obtain gong. Thus, we cannot leave ordinary society. The family and workplace are good venues in which to temper ourselves. If we did well among ordinary society, we will reach consummation and help ordinary people go on the cultivation path in the future.
During the first few years of cultivation, before July 1997, I experienced physical and mental transformation. After the persecution began, my heart remained steadfast in my faith since Master had pushed us to our positions.
I went to Tiananmen Square to petition the government for the right to practice Dafa at the beginning of 2000. After that, officials at my workplace tried to force me to renounce Falun Dafa. Since I refused, I was fired. Later, I found another job. All of my colleagues at my new job knew that I am a Dafa practitioner and a kind person. My cultivation at that workplace has been fairly smooth.
However, when it comes to my family. there have always been many tribulations. Thus, this was the place where I had to effectively clarify the facts about Dafa.
Eliminating Problems With Husband
When I went to Beijing in 2000, I did not tell my husband. He was upset and believed that I belittled him. He often beat me after that.
“Today’s humans have in fact had tribulations arranged for them by this system of old forces at different levels, and humans have been controlled by the old forces at different levels. This is why they’ve become so forceful, why they dare to do things to cultivators, and why they dare to be disrespectful to Dafa.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference” from Guiding the Voyage)
I knew that he was being controlled by the old forces; thus I should not resent him or fight with him. I should not push him to the opposite side of Dafa, which would destroy him. Instead, I kept sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil controlling him. I used a cultivator's compassion to dissolve his resentment toward me. When he mentioned divorce, I told him that as a practitioner, I should not do that. When he pointed out my shortcomings, I looked within.
My husband began to change when I improved on my cultivation. He no longer interrupted me when I sent forth righteous thoughts; just the opposite–he reminded me to do so. Instead of stopping me when I talked to people about Dafa, he helped me improve my skills. When our relatives brought up the topic of divorce once, he told them that he would never divorce me as I treated him very well.
Practitioners’ Thoughts Are Powerful
I believe that our family members have a close predestined relationship with us. Thus, no matter their social status, they are here for Dafa.
After the persecution began, I hid all of my Falun Dafa books and portraits of Master. But I always had the thought of positioning Dafa highest in my home. Later, I took them out and put them on the top shelf of my bookcase. But, I felt uncomfortable placing them in the same bookcase with non-cultivation items. My husband indeed brought up the topic of purchasing a cabinet for Dafa books and Master's portraits. We now have a new cabinet in a small quiet room.
A few years ago, we bought a new house. Our old house was empty. Practitioner A ran into a tribulation and wanted to join our Fa-study group, which was held at practitioner B's home. However, practitioner B did not want her to come for safety reasons. I thought of using my old house for Fa study. A few days later, my husband proposed the same idea.
I understood from these two experiences that practitioners' thoughts are very powerful. Ordinary people's minds change and are affected by our thoughts. When our thoughts are righteous, Master will strengthen our thoughts. If practitioners play the leading roles in their families and are in line with the Fa, our righteous thoughts can change everything around our home.
Conflicts Are Good for Passing Tests
Most of us are in close contact with our family members. Not only do they hear what we say, but they also watch how we do things. We should always conduct ourselves as practitioners, thus displaying the goodness of Dafa.
To have my family worry less, I did my truth-clarification on my way to and from work, as well as when I took a bus or went shopping. I never showed when I was under pressure. I told them that I had the wisdom to do things correctly and would thus be safe. So, it has been fairly smooth.
Even though I did not do many house chores growing up, I always welcomed my husband's family to my home. He is the eldest in his family and has three younger siblings. His sisters and brother came to stay at our home when they had training or study activities in the city. Later, their children came to the city to study and stayed with us too. My mother-in-law also came to live with us.
I never complained about visitors. I always helped them and did what a practitioner should do. At the same time, I told them about Dafa and persuaded them to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth organizations.
After my father's funeral, my brother-in-law took my mother-in-law to my home. She was very sick. My husband and I took her to the hospital and took care of her every day. My two sisters-in-law came to help and stayed with us. My mother-in-law was touched by my actions and asked if she could stay with us.
I treated her kindly, and we got along very well even though she had a bad temper. I read Dafa books to her, and her personality began to change. She lived with us for more than 10 years until she passed away in 2015.
The conflicts that happened in our family environment seemed trivial, but they related to our personal interests and reflected our attachments. As long as we treated ourselves as practitioners, gave up our personal gains and looked within, we could always pass tests.
I learned that family and cultivation do not oppose each other. Since every family has a different kind of predestined relationship among their members and each practitioner's cultivation level is different, things that happen in every family are different. The relationship cannot be maintained well only by doing a lot of house chores or being tolerant all the time. Instead, we should let our family members experience the preciousness and power of Dafa. Thus, they will support Dafa, and this improves our cultivation environment.
All family conflicts target our attachments and help us cultivate. The family environment is actually a good place in which to temper ourselves and get rid of our attachments. A practitioner's compassion could change everything and achieve what fighting could never do.
Helping Family Members Cultivate
Many practitioners' family members and relatives have started to cultivate in Dafa. But their understanding of Dafa principles are limited, so they tend to have loopholes that are attacked by the old forces.
At the same time, we should not set the bar too high for family members. We should send forth righteous thoughts and guide them to study the Fa more.
In fact, many of their problems and tribulations target our cultivation, and the old forces will use them to persecute us. We should negate all the arrangements from the old forces and treat family members just as we do other people, caring for and protecting them. They are part of our cultivation, and we should all walk on the same cultivation path.