Removing the Cunning I Developed from Learning Negative Lessons
(Minghui.org) Master mentioned in his recent lectures that some practitioners were slacking off in cultivation and not as diligent as before. I felt he was talking about me: although I did the three things every day, I had not been diligent for a long time. I felt that there was something separating me from the Fa.
I knew it was not right to continue being in that state. The present time to save people and solidly cultivate is precious, as Master has sacrificed greatly to extend the time for Fa-rectification.
No matter how much I wanted to be diligent, however, I just couldn’t do it. I searched within and eliminated several notions and attachments, but my situation did not improve. I became distressed.
Recently, Master compassionately gave me hints to help me realize the reason I had failed to be diligent.
Eliminating Deeply-Rooted Attachments
I recalled that when the persecution first began, I was fearless and was able to do anything to validate Dafa. At the time, I did not truly know how to cultivate myself. I thought that “doing things” was cultivating and did not realize that it was an attachment.
The evil took advantage of my loophole and continuously persecuted me. I also stumbled many times in cultivation and began to form an incorrect notion of learning from negative things that happened to me.
I thought that the persecution imposed on me was due to something specific I had done, so I needed to pay better attention. Focusing on the negative experiences made me more cunning over time. When Master gave me a hint, I used the excuse of “safety issues” to cover up my shortcoming and let them slide. Thus, my xinxing could not improve.
The attachment to cunningness continued to grow without my awareness until it formed a wall that blocked my path to be diligent.
“Don’t always take away bad things from your experiences. When you learn bad things, you are in fact using human thinking to consider things, and becoming more cunning, and sly, which means you are becoming worse.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference XI)
Master also said:
“You need to think about things in a constructive manner, and when you stumble look for the reason as a cultivator would, asking, 'Where did I go wrong?' Only by evaluating things with the Fa will you be able to learn good things from your experiences. If you can really manage to do this, things will definitely go well.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference XI)
Measuring myself against the Fa and searching within, I was able to discover many attachments and wrong notions that included negative thoughts, cunningness, looking outward, protecting myself, and selfishness.
I also realized that another reason that blocked me from being diligent was the attachment to jealousy. Although Master mentioned the importance of eliminating jealousy, I did not really pay attention to it.
It was not easy for me to realize that I had an attachment to jealousy because it often manifested in daily trifles and was easily ignored. From Zhuan Falun, I learned that jealousy is deeply rooted and related to Chinese Confucianism, the absolute egalitarianism of Communist Party culture, and the religious practices of various cultures.
I was finally able to eliminate these deeply hidden attachments with righteous thoughts and become more diligent in cultivation. I can now absorb the Fa into my mind and see the different layers of the Fa’s principles.