A Growing Experience
(Minghui.org) I started cultivating Falun Dafa in the spring of 2014. I often felt apprehensive about starting the practice so late and worried about being left behind as the Fa-rectification progressed. I was afraid that I won't be able to return to my true home with Master. However, I knew this was a strong attachment that I needed to get rid of. But I failed to realize that my constant impatience was directly related to that attachment. For a time, I even thought it was a manifestation of my diligence in cultivation.
Blessed with the “Vajra's Indestructible Body”
One day, I went out with another practitioner, Jane (an alias), to post Falun Dafa flyers. Unfortunately, we were reported to the police. We had no choice but to try and outrun the police car that was chasing us. I sat behind Jane on her motorcycle as the car pursued us through the streets.
I had never encountered such a situation before and was paralyzed by fear. I had only a few flyers left on me, and my first thought was to throw them away. But I immediately decided against it. As we were crossing a street, a truck came straight at us. Jane turned sharply and avoided the truck, but the motorcycle veered directly into a telephone pole. My mind went blank on impact.
After a few moments, I got up from the ground and saw that the motorcycle was lying in a ditch with the wheels still spinning. Jane's visor was in pieces. I turned around and saw her standing behind me, checking her face. Neither of us was hurt or had any scratches. Later, Jane told me that she had one thought as the motorcycle spun out: “A Dafa practitioner has the indestructible body of a Vajra.”
We knew Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa, had protected us and endured this tribulation for us!
Jane and I were taken to a police station. I was given a physical and a blood test under intimidation and threats. I was so scared initially that I completely forgot to negate the old forces. Despondent, I answered everything I was asked. When the police asked me how I started to learn Falun Dafa and where I got the brochures, something suddenly awakened inside of me.
“What am I doing?!” I asked myself, “I always believed that I was lucky to have Dafa and Master, but I am not even behaving as well as an ordinary person now. Am I even worthy of being a Dafa disciple?”
I became resolute.
“I won't tell you even if you beat me to death!” I told the police officer who was interrogating me. A look of surprise came over him. He didn't say anymore, and I was sent away.
I saw Jane waiting outside and whispered to her, “Tell them I was responsible for everything. Don't say anything else.” She nodded.
I knew Jane had started the practice after I had and had not encountered anything like this either. I felt that I should be responsible for her.
I was taken to a room. I sat on a chair, sent forth righteous thoughts, and looked within. While doing so, I realized that I had not calmly studied the Fa for a long time. When I read other practitioners' experience-sharing articles, they all talked about saving more people. I had an urge to do more. But because I couldn't study the Fa well, I didn't have enough righteous thoughts. I was in a hurry to post more flyers and ignored my own safety. And I wasn't in a hurry just because I wanted to save more people; it was also because I had attachments to showing off, vanity, and to myself. Other attachments of mine included jealousy and lust. I had so many attachments!
I remembered that another practitioner had once said, “We must have a heart of compassion in order to tell people the truth about Dafa; we must have righteous thoughts and righteous actions. Even if there is only one poster to put up, don't do it in a hurry. With that kind of thought backing you it, it won't be effective in saving people no matter how many posters you put up. At most, you are doing a good deed in ordinary human society.” She had noticed my attachments and tried to help me, yet I obstinately ignored her advice.
I knew the police had my home address and would search my home. I asked for Master's help not to let the police see all the Dafa materials I had at home.
“Please don't let the police destroy the Dafa materials. If they do something that bad, how can they ever be saved?” I thought.
At that moment, my heart was heavy, and I felt I had not cultivated well.
Master said in “To the Fa Conference in Japan:”
“Dafa disciples are the hope for the future. Dafa disciples are shouldering the historic responsibility of saving sentient beings. To complete this tremendous mission well, Dafa disciples must study the Fa well. Only by cultivating yourselves well can you, at the same time, do well and successfully accomplish all this. Dafa is the Fa of the universe, so “Dafa disciple” is a sacred title.”
I sent forth righteous thoughts over and over to cleanse my own dimension and eliminate my fear. I tried to talk to the police officer who was watching us, telling him about Falun Dafa and the persecution. He nodded in agreement. Later, he even got some hot water for us.
Jane and I were taken to a detention center the next day. Jane was given 10 days of detention, while I got 12. The environment in this detention center was relatively relaxed. I knew from all the articles on the Minghui website that such an environment had been rectified by the compassion and righteous actions of many fellow practitioners before us.
Soon, another elderly practitioner was brought in. I thought to myself, “Master knew we didn't have experience and arranged for this practitioner to come and help us.” This practitioner taught us how to negate the old forces and what to do. She taught us to recite Hong Yin and Lunyu.
Our state of mind improved daily. We did things that we never thought we could do: we said no to the police; we called ourselves Dafa disciples openly; we refused to watch propaganda; we refused to put on inmate vests; we did our exercises openly; and we clarified the truth to other inmates and advised them to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party and its youth organizations.
“If you are able to succeed in improving yourself this way, what you do then, with a pure heart, will be the best and most sacred.” (“Further Understanding” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I tried to let go of my attachments to fame and self-interest, saving face, self-protection, and selfishness. When I told people about Dafa with sincerity and kindness, both Jane and another little girl in the detention center saw a halo on my head. I knew Master was encouraging us.
One day, we were locked in our room because we refused to put our inmate vests or watch propaganda. The guards called out our names and told us that our families were there to see us. But in order to see them, we had to wear the inmate vests.
I knew it was a test to see if I had let go of sentimentality. Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“As long as you upgrade your xinxing, you can overcome them. Unless you, yourself do not want to do so, you can make it, provided you want to overcome them.”
Jane and I decided not to wear the vests. We started sending forth righteous thoughts. After a while, a policeman came over to our window and said, “The kids are here crying for their mommies. Why don't you put on the vests? Come out and see them!”
But we knew we didn't do anything wrong, and we didn't want the children to see us wearing inmate vests because that would mislead them into thinking we had done something wrong. So, we refused again.
We kept sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the attachment to sentimentality. A few minutes later, the policeman came back.
“Whose mother-in-law has high blood pressure? She couldn't get up from her chair. She said she must see you. It's so hard to see her crying and refuse to leave. You just have to wear the vest for a little while. You can take it off afterward,” he said.
Jane asked me, “How about we go and see them?”
“No, let's not,” I replied.
I reminded Jane of Master's Fa:
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Zhuan Falun)
We kept sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate interference and external factors. After about a half hour, the policeman came back.
“Gone! They are all gone!” he said.
He looked disappointed, but I felt relief and a lightness in my heart.
In the afternoon, another practitioner came to visit us. I told him that we were doing fine and not to worry about us. I was confident that we could walk out of this place.
Walking the Path Well
On the tenth day of detention, Jane and the elderly practitioner were released. Before she left, the elderly practitioner said to me earnestly, “Remember to send forth righteous thoughts. Ask for Master's help if you can’t endure it. The gods are watching everything you do. Remember Master's words, 'Just by staying unaffected you will be able to handle all situations.'” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in the Midwest-U.S.)
But when they both left, I felt lonely, hopeless and scared–like I had never felt before. I knew in my heart that this was my opportunity to get rid of my impatience, fear and other attachments. Every time when I felt that I couldn't endure any more, I recited the Fa and instantly felt Master's help and strength.
Two days later, I returned home. I opened the box with all my Dafa materials and saw that everything was there. There were no words to describe my feelings then, only tears.
Because of my mistake, Jane's family and my family had very negative reactions to this incident. However, fellow practitioners from near and far helped us, encouraged us and supported us selflessly.
The path of cultivation is never smooth. It is through adversities that we continuously reflect, improve, and get rid of our layers upon layers of attachments. I realized that I have been blessed to have Master and Dafa in my life, and I have nothing to feel rueful or impatient about!