(Minghui.org) For a long time, I was always tired. I would fall asleep while studying the Fa or practicing the exercises. I didn't remember what Master was teaching after studying the Fa. I even dropped the book twice during group Fa-study.
I was extremely ashamed when seeing photos taken at our group site that showed me sleeping while practicing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts.
For a long time, I didn't look at myself to find the source of the interference and just blamed whatever old forces or evil factors in other dimensions were targeting me.
I usually go to sleep after sending forth righteous thoughts after midnight. I get up to practice the exercises at 3:30 a.m. I felt pretty happy when fellow practitioners praised me, calling me “diligent.”
When I was living in China, I developed the habit of taking a nap after lunch. After I came to America, I no longer had time to nap. I have to work, study English and participate in a project to make phone calls to mainland China.
Time is now a luxury that I can't afford to waste. I often eat food cold directly from the refrigerator because I want to save a few minutes to do the things on my schedule.
For a period of time, when it was my time to make phone calls at night, I couldn't sit without falling asleep.
I tried many ways to keep myself awake, like taking a shower, breathing some fresh air on the balcony or eating. However, nothing could really lift the tiredness.
Fellow practitioners reminded me to take care of my health since we are still in a human body.
Master said,
“We require that in cultivation you conform to the society of ordinary people to the greatest extent possible. Don’t alter the ways of ordinary people’s society because you are now cultivating. That wouldn’t do.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland)
I noticed that I was being extreme and my way of handling time and work didn't conform to normal human society.
At this time, a practitioner came to our city and stayed with me. I became depressed when she pointed out that my exercise poses were incorrect.
She spent time with me, watching the exercise teaching video and correcting my poses one by one. When she was satisfied, I could feel the energy flowing around my body and it was a very comfortable feeling.
Master has set the requirements for the sitting meditation:
“Keep the waist and neck upright. Tuck the lower jaw in slightly. Touch the tip of the tongue to the hard palate, leave a space between the upper and lower teeth, and close the lips. Keep the whole body relaxed, but not too loose. Gently close the eyes. Compassion should arise in the heart, and the facial expression should be peaceful.” (“Illustrations and Explanations of the Exercise Movements” from The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection)
Before, I didn't truly believe what Master said, “...practicing cultivation is the best form of rest...” (Lecture at the First Conference in North America)
Since the other practitioner corrected my movements and poses, I have been able to practice the exercises and send forth righteous thoughts with a clear mind. Before when I was very tired, I would take a nap or sleep for a while.
Now I am personally experiencing that the Falun Dafa exercises are indeed “the best form of rest.”
The other practitioner's actions also showed me how to handle things with all due seriousness and sincerity. She washed the bowls and plates thoroughly and lined them up to dry. She kept every pot she had used shiny clean. The kitchen looked brighter and bigger after she worked there.
Compared to her, I realized that I was fooling myself in many ways, such as studying the Fa without being able to recall or understand what I read; doing the exercises half asleep; sending forth righteous thoughts, but falling asleep; and making phone calls while feeling tired and groggy.
From the surface, I appeared diligent because I used most of my time to validate the Fa and slept very little. However, the reality was that I didn't do any one of the three things correctly or well.
Doing things halfheartedly is tied to Party culture. It restricts the effectiveness of one's cultivation and our efforts to save people in truth-clarification projects.
We should heed Master's words about doing things in a halfhearted way.
Master said,
“Sometimes when a media outlet utilizes you or when a project lets you participate, your ways of thinking, those extreme ways of doing things that come from Party culture, your lying, and your halfhearted way of working really exasperate [others].” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
Master also said,
“Those with great determination should study this upright Law, strive to achieve the Rightful Attainment, improve their character, and discard their attachments. Only then can they reach Perfection.” (“The Features of Falun Dafa” from The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection)
We are at the final stage of Fa-rectification and it is time to let go of all human notions. We should truly cultivate and save more sentient beings.
Category: Improving Oneself
