Looking Inwards Instead of Outwards
(Minghui.org) Our local group recently gathered for two days of Fa study and experience sharing with a focus on Shen Yun promotion. As a result, I came to the realization that for many years I was attached to looking outward instead of inward.
This attachment caused me to disrespect other cultivators. I refused to let go of my opinion and pointed fingers at others. Sometimes I realized that my behavior wasn't good and attempted to let it go. However, I wasn't able to get rid of this thinking, so it interfered with my life.
During the two-day Fa study, I felt a strong desire to get rid of this attachment. I thought in my heart, “Master, I want to get rid of this bad attachment. I want to see the strengths of others rather than their weaknesses. I will negate the desire to look outward or look at the weaknesses of others.”
I looked inward and realized that the root causes for my attachment were jealousy and resentment. Being jealous would make me look down on people. I focused on their weaknesses, even when they were good people. Actually, I felt safe and balanced when I saw the weaknesses of others. The resentment I felt made me remember others’ problems and especially if they had hurt me in the past.
I believe that this attachment was formed during my indoctrination by the Party. It is not a reflection of my true, kind nature. As cultivators, we should not accept such thinking.
If one does not discard jealousy, one will not be part of the future universe. Jealousy also interferes with relationships between practitioners and sets them apart because jealousy and resentment weaken our ability to think compassionately.
I found that I slacked off in cultivation because I had not let go of jealousy for years. I was worried and asked myself how I could cultivate as diligently as I did when I first took up the practice. I shared my thoughts on this with fellow practitioners. One of them suggested that I read the section of the book Zhuan Falun that talks about jealousy.
“If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile.” (Zhuan Falun)
In the past, I did not have a good understanding of this sentence. Another practitioner said that she believed that “everything that you have cultivated” referred to a heart of compassion, returning to your original self, assimilating to the Fa, and having righteous thoughts about improving through cultivation.
I was shocked that I had not enlightened to this for so many years. I was inspired and found the root cause of my looking outward instead of inward.
Whenever I had a thought about another weakness, I would immediately reject it and remind myself to let it go. Doing this worked pretty well and I found that I could get along with my fellow practitioners.