Denying Old Force Arrangements and Experiencing Miracles
(Minghui.org) Something miraculous happened on the night of March 18, 2016. I noticed something different when I went to bed. My abdomen was very soft. I touched it and confirmed that the lump I’d had for so long, which made me look pregnant, had disappeared. I went to the restroom and confirmed that my abdomen was normal again. I immediately told my husband about it. He looked at me and my abdomen again and again, saying, “Dafa is miraculous.”
Denying Fake Phenomena
My husband's family and I had dinner with a relative who came to visit in July 2014. After dinner, my stomach felt uncomfortable. I didn't acknowledge it, as I had experienced sickness tests before. I had once felt bloated in the past and then lost interest in eating. My face looked pale and everyone said that I had lost weight, but I didn't acknowledge it and continued doing the three things and my regular work.
It seemed that the same situation was happening again. As time passed, I lost more weight, and the swelling in my abdomen grew. By July 2015, I looked as if I was pregnant. Other practitioners said, “This condition is not right. You should look within.” Some practitioners said that I had such and such attachments, and others said I had yet different attachments. I was puzzled and didn't know what to do.
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference”)
Other practitioners wanted to help me out of benevolence. But I developed the thought that I didn't want to communicate with them. My husband was worried about my health, and other family members then learned of my situation. One relative asked me if I was pregnant. I said my period was still normal. A massage therapist I knew said that I had a tumor, which was consuming nutrition and causing me to become so thin. He urged me to see a doctor immediately.
All of my relatives also asked me to go the hospital for an examination. I thought that it couldn't be a disease; otherwise, I was not a genuine practitioner.
“As a genuine practitioner, however, you cannot practice cultivation with an ill body. I will purify your body. The body purification will be done only for those who come to truly learn the practice and the Fa.” (Zhuan Falun)
I had many negative thoughts arising in my mind however, such as, “You have a tumor. Go to the hospital. If you don't have a disease, then just come back to continue your cultivation. Some other practitioners went to a hospital, and aren't they still practicing?!” I gradually realized that I couldn't let such thoughts dominate my mind, and I should deny them. I believe in Master and believe in the Fa, I thought. So although I didn't feel well, I continued to work.
In our rural area, different practitioners were assigned to different areas for truth clarification. We sometimes distributed our materials at night. I never missed going out to distribute the materials. If someone with whom I typically worked was busy, I went out with other practitioners instead. Sometimes when it was dark and the road was slippery, my stomach was distended, so I distributed fliers while holding my pants up.
“Don’t regard them as anything important.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore”)
With that thought, I went out to clarify the truth face to face whenever I had time. I persevered in doing the three things.
I was under pressure during that time from my family, society, friends, and other relatives to see a doctor. So, generally speaking, I tried to avoid people during the day when they might take note of my stomach. I was worried that if people saw me, they would ask me if I had diabetes or was pregnant, and would urge me to go to the hospital.
At times, when my husband was not in a good mood, he said, “How did you cultivate to be like this?” Some of my strong attachments surfaced, and I felt very uncomfortable. While kneeling down in front of Master's photo, I asked for hints.
“Cultivation is about looking inside yourself. Whether you are right or wrong, you should examine yourself. Cultivation is about getting rid of human attachments.” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”)
I did look inside myself, and I let go of any attachments that I had. However, there still was no perceptible change.
After the Chinese New Year in 2015, I didn't feel well. My stomach and feet were very swollen. My stomach felt like there was a pan inside it, and I felt like I couldn't breathe if I bent over. While I didn't feel well physically, I was mentally alert enough to see that I had a fear of death.
My thought was that I knew I had Master, so I had nothing to fear. I believed in Master and the Fa. I knew I could pass this tribulation for sure.
Yet I wondered what my problem was. I looked within and found that I hadn't studied the Fa much and hadn't assimilated to the Fa. I saw that I had considered doing certain things as being equivalent to cultivating, and that I hadn’t realized I was fooling myself into not really cultivating. I also fought with my husband at times because I wanted to change him, but not myself.
When there was a conflict, I superficially reasoned what was right and wrong. I also barely looked within for the fundamental reasons behind the conflicts, failing to root out my human attachments. For the last two years, my cultivation status hadn't changed because I hadn’t spotted this problem.
Believing in Master and Dafa is Miraculous
Through looking within, I found my strong attachments to seeking profit, fighting, harboring resentment, and seeking self-interest. During the conflicts and fights with my husband, I accumulated resentment toward him, resulting in this mindset and situation. So I studied the Fa more and paid attention to cultivating my xinxing. I realized that I should completely change myself.
I soon stopped quarreling with my husband. As a result of genuinely working on this attachment, as well as many others, on the night of March 18, 2016, I went to bed and noticed that this miracle had occurred.
Thank you Master, thank you Dafa. I am thankful for Master's merciful care. I will be more diligent and save more sentient beings.