(Minghui.org) There are no trivial things in cultivation. Two months ago, I went to a government agency to legalize some documents, but my request was rejected twice. Last Friday, I went for the third time, only to have it fail again. Why did this happen?
I visited the Minghui website almost everyday and have read many articles about looking inward. I also know that I must always look at myself, no matter what other people did. I began to look within and found many attachments.
Competitive Mentality
When my requests were rejected the first two times, I told myself: I would succeed if I persisted; what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. So I made a third request. However, it was here that I found my attachment of competitiveness. I didn't look within for the reasons for my failure; instead, I kept doing things the same way.
Attachment to Ego
When I looked within, I checked for the reasons of my rejection, which were all based on the law. The government did not make things difficult for me on purpose. It was me who did not pay attention to the rules and did things according to my own understanding.
But I demonstrated a strong ego: I knew how things worked; these were all trivial things. I did not put any effort into studying the laws and rules or seeking any legal consultation. When I made the request without much legal knowledge, I wasted my time and money. If I had understood the laws and rules and followed them accordingly, it would have been very easy for my request to be granted.
I found the attachment to my ego several years ago. It manifested in the fact that I did things according to my own ideas and did not listen to other people's opinions. When other practitioners had different thoughts from mine, I negated them without thinking. I showed off my ideas as being the best. I always liked to enhance or adjust other people's ideas to make myself look better.
I thought that I had let go of this attachment for some time. Now, I realized that it was still there through this experience. I must eliminate it again. After twenty years of cultivation, it is not difficult to let go of this attachment; rather, it is more difficult to look inward actively to find the attachment in the first place.
It was a big step to get from from remaining calm to looking within. To cultivate forbearance, I stayed calm and did not became angry after the rejections. That was a good thing. But I didn't think about the reason behind the rejections. It seemed that my documents were short of some necessary items – but in fact, everything a practitioner encounters had its reason.
Master used this opportunity for me to improve. If I did not realize that I should look within, but focused on adding more contents to my document, I might still get it approved someday. However, I would have lost the opportunity to improve myself using this experience.
This was good timing, as it was about time for our local group to lay out a marketing plan for the coming Shen Yun shows. I was unable to stay focused when helping to analyze the data from previous years. My ego made me propose baseless suggestions and made things harder for the coordinator. I felt ashamed of myself.
After I found my attachment, I enlightened to the idea that I should analyze the data carefully to contribute to the success of Shen Yun. In an instant, my heart became calm, and my pressure and uneasiness disappeared.
We always encounter different kinds of things in our daily life. But there are no coincidences in cultivation. We would lose opportunities to cultivate ourselves if we only paid attention to cultivating forbearance instead of looking inward.
Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Category: Improving Oneself
