Sincerely Studying the Fa and Looking Inside Dissolves Attachments
(Minghui.org) A while ago, I had conflicts with some practitioners. The manifestations of the conflicts were similar, though the reasons for the conflicts were different in each case. I realized that I did not look at things completely from the Fa's perspective and in most cases I was self-centered.
Once after we finished Fa study, one practitioner intentionally snubbed me. I realized that I still clung to sentimentality and there were selfish elements in me. This was only a rough understanding. I believed that I had serious problems and Master used these conflicts to enlighten me. I thought to myself, I must take it seriously so as to walk my future path well.
On my way home I was not happy. I tried to suppress my feelings and to not have negative thoughts, but I felt it was hard to achieve. I kept thinking of those practitioners' behaviors, trying to guess their intentions and trying to find their faults. I felt it was unfair and wanted to talk to them, thinking that I was helping Master rectify the Fa and dissolve anything unrighteous by pointing out their shortcomings.
The next day some other practitioners studied the Fa with me and I felt a sense of peace in my heart. When they left, my mind started to think of the conflicts and the problems I had with those other practitioners again. I felt wronged and that it was unfair. I realized that I did not really let go of the attachments and sentiments surrounding these conflicts.
I really wanted to let it go and study the Fa with a peaceful mind, but felt that it was difficult to achieve and I felt anxious.
I struggled for a while and warned myself that I could not continue like this. I thought to myself, I must be sensible and should not look outward. I must study the Fa and look within. So I sat down and started to study the Fa seriously.
At first, my mind still thought of other practitioners' shortcomings and I felt I was unfairly treated. Because I was determined to look within and study the Fa with a focused mind, Master helped me see that it was my attachment of jealousy that led to my grievances. I decided to get rid of my jealousy. I decided that no matter what, I had to study the Fa attentively and look within rationally. I had to try to get rid of those negative thoughts.
When I faced my situation calmly and was determined to look within, I could clearly see my problems. I realized I had been unwilling to look within and face my own problems with righteous thoughts and had not looked within unconditionally as Master taught us to do.
I felt my body was trembling and my heart was aching at the start of the Fa study. My body curled up in pain. After a while, my body stopped trembling and an energy current went through my body and I felt comfortable and peaceful. But then I felt the substance that made me sad gather around my heart and my heart ached more and more.
I was thinking of putting the book down as I felt the pain become stronger and almost choking me. At that moment in time I felt that I could not stop studying the Fa and realized that only by continuing Fa study, could I overcome and dissolve the substance that made my heart ache.
After a while I felt my heart became less painful and my body felt comfortable. I picked up a Master's lecture book and found the Fa was directing me on my specific problems. I saw problems in myself which I had not seen before and found the deeper meanings of the Fa. I studied two lectures of Zhuan Falun, hand copied a few articles in the Essentials for Further Advancement and studied Master's other lectures. I sent forth righteous thoughts intensively for one hour to clear my own dimensional field in the early hours of the morning.
When my mind had thoughts of other practitioners and I felt unhappy with them, I looked within to see if I had the same problems. I realized that my mind had been indoctrinated by the Party culture and that I had been looking at things from human level, not from a practitioner's perspective. I also found some of my seemingly small problems and attachments. When my mind was still occupied with these new issues, Master manifested the meaning of the Fa as I studied the Fa more and I found the source of the problems.
On the fourth night of my studying the Fa intensively, I realized that I had a notion that produced my sentiment and desire. The notion was that when a male and a female came into contact and became friendly, I would think that they were dating and had unrighteous thoughts. When I rooted out this thought I found that my whole body was filled with a comfortable energy like I was sitting within an egg shell.
On the second day after I realized this notion, some practitioners came to share about their cultivation. Some practitioners who had left the study group because of conflicts came back. After that, I realized that the reason I was not able to let go of many of my attachments and did not do things well was that I did not rely on the right principles to guide me. In most cases, my human notions and negative thoughts took over. It was just like Master said:
“Some people also know that it is not good, but they just cannot quit. In fact, let me tell you that they do not have correct thoughts to guide themselves, and it will not be easy for them to quit that way.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I felt like the door of my microscopic body was opening up.
During my Fa study and cultivating myself in this period, I truly felt that my body was filled with an indescribable energy and underwent major changes. I experienced again Master's compassion and boundless power and profoundness of the Buddha Fa. I realized that my understanding of the Fa and the ability to see through problems had been very limited.
I also realized that Master is looking after us all the time and knows our thoughts. He give us reminders and systematically arranges our cultivation and improvement.
“There is another principle in our universe: If you pursue or want something, others are not willing to interfere.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
The result we achieve in cultivation depends on how much we put our hearts into it and the choices we make. As practitioners, we should strive to improve in cultivation as well as study the Fa well and look within unconditionally. Only when we have the right thoughts and think from the Fa perspective can we open up our minds, find our hidden problems, and realize the inner meaning of the Fa at various levels. The results will often exceed our expectations!
The above is my limited understanding at my current level. Please point out anything inappropriate.