Looking Within Amid Conflicts
(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Gong in 1997. I was frail and needed my husband to help me climb upstairs. My limbs were cold even on hot days, and I had stomach problems, insomnia and other illnesses. After practicing Falun Gong for several days, my health improved. I regained my strength and could climb up the stairs without assistance.
However, I did not study the Fa diligently. I did the exercises occasionally and did not cultivate my xinxing. In 2004, I suddenly fell ill, feeling weak and breathless. I could not walk without someone supporting me. I struggled between life and death.
I had faith in Dafa and asked Master for help. I eagerly read all of Master's teachings and regretted not taking cultivation seriously before. I resolved to practice cultivation diligently from then on. I gradually learned to follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and act according to the requirements of Dafa.
Below I share a few incidents from which I learned to look within and improve in cultivation.
Letting Go of Gain and Loss
I was head of a department. During a company restructure, a new manager was sent to our department. My superior appreciated the hard work I put in and suggested that I switch to another department. He told me I could choose to go anywhere.
Master said in Zhuan Falun:
“Zhen-Shan-Ren is the Sole Criterion to Discern Good and Bad People.”
“As a practitioner, one must then conduct oneself by following this characteristic of the universe rather than the standards of everyday people. If you want to return to the original, true self and move up in cultivation practice, you must conduct yourself according to this criterion.”
I decided to turn down his offer. The new manager was not familiar with the current situation in our department. I had the responsibility to help him settle into his new role.
However, after the new manager got settled in, he began to find fault with others. I was demoted. Dafa taught us to let go of the attachment to fame and gain. I had no complaints and did not feel bitter. Later on, I was asked to clean his office because I was a responsible person. No one else was capable of cleaning it better than me.
I felt wronged and cried. I recalled Master's words in Zhuan Falun:
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.”
I thought to myself, “Isn't this an opportunity for me to improve? I should be happy.” I was determined to do well. I tidied the manager's room and even organized the documents in the office.
I worked hard and was always considerate of others. As a result, my superiors trusted me and put me in charge of making acquisitions for the company. I refused to accept bribes from suppliers and turned down countless gifts. There are many fake and inferior products in China today. I chose what to buy carefully, comparing prices and quality.
I told my suppliers that one should do business honestly and not harm others, or our future generations would bear the consequences of our wrongdoings. One supplier told me he had a lot of respect for me because of the way I conducted myself. Many people whom I came into contact with through business dealings also learned the facts about Falun Gong and agreed to renounce their memberships in the Chinese Communist Party.
Resolving Conflicts Through Looking Within
A practitioner once said, “I've enlightened to high-level principles, so I don't need to do the exercises anymore.” I replied with disdain, “How is that possible? As long as you haven’t reached consummation, you need to do the exercises.” She said my cultivation level was too low and I had not understood high level principles. I wanted to tell her she had gone astray and was finding an excuse not to do the exercises.
When I got home, I quickly looked up Master's teachings regarding doing the exercises and showed them to her. She disagreed. Another practitioner shared the same opinion as her. We got into an argument. As I walked home, I wondered why I failed to get them to agree with me. What did I do wrong?
I was being responsible to other practitioners by telling them their understanding was wrong. I said to Master in my heart, “I know there must be something I need to improve on that's causing these practitioners not to accept what I said.”
I let go of the matter. Through subsequent Fa study, I realized where I had gone wrong: I was attached to winning the argument. I spoke angrily; therefore, the results were the opposite of what I expected.
“While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person’s heart, whereas commands never could! If others are not convinced deep down inside but only superficially comply, they will still conduct themselves according to their own will when no one is around to see them.” (“Clearheadedness” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Aren't these practitioners serving as a mirror for my shortcomings? Am I not slack in doing the exercises? When practitioners tell me I have not enlightened to high-level principles, isn't it a reminder that I like to show off? I have not shown any kindness toward fellow practitioners and only wanted to win the argument. Isn't this against the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance? Afterwards, I heard from other practitioners that the practitioners whom I had an argument with admitted they were wrong and what I said was right.
Through this experience, I learned that letting go of oneself is a wonderful feeling. Even if I won the argument, it's just a victory on the human side. Is that cultivation? When I see something wrong in practitioners, doesn't it mean I have attachments I need to get rid of?
Telling Others the Facts About Dafa
“It is necessary for a Dafa disciple to ensure his cultivation on a daily basis, and it is the mission of a Dafa disciple to clarify the facts and save people. You cannot go without either of these as you journey toward consummation. How well you do is a reflection of whether you are diligent in your cultivation. The current state of affairs in society may change, but never will the requirements for cultivation, as they are the standards of the cosmos and the standards of Dafa.” (“A Reminder”)
Besides taking part in projects that require group effort to save people, I tell people the facts about Dafa in my spare time. I was nervous at first but gradually became more confident. I discovered that if I speak sincerely and with compassion, most people accept the facts. If I don't put my heart into it and treat it as a task I need to finish, the results often are not good.
Once, I was reported to police while giving out information because I was in a hurry to finish the task. I asked Master for help in strengthening my righteous thoughts. I was calm and talked to the police officers about Dafa and the persecution. I looked within for attachments and was released in a few hours.