Returning to Dafa after 16 Years of Wandering in the Maze
(Minghui.org) I had learned Falun Dafa as a child but went astray due to the persecution until 2012 when, at age 26, I found Dafa again and began truly cultivating. Shortly after resuming the practice, I broke through the internet blockade and saw a photo of Master. I could not hold back my tears. I told Master: “I am back!”
Learning Falun Dafa
I began practicing Falun Dafa with my mother in 1996 when I was ten years old. We went to a local exercise site to study the Fa and do the exercises together. I knew Falun Dafa was good, but I did not understand the teachings on a deeper level.
When the persecution began, it was overwhelming. My mother hid all our Falun Dafa books to protect them, and she stopped practicing because she was worried about our family's safety. I stopped as well.
I was often bullied as a student and later at work, but I did not fight back. I remembered to follow Falun Dafa's principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. But I did not understand the deeper meaning, and as time went on, I resented those people. I did not like ordinary society, but I was also contaminated by it. I became isolated and withdrawn, was irritable, and often lost my temper with my family.
My job required me to be online a lot, and I happened to meet a Falun Dafa practitioner online in June of 2012. We chatted some and I learned that we worked in the same company! I later realized this was compassionate Master's arrangement to bring me back to Dafa cultivation. This practitioner had been persecuted and endured many trials and tribulations, yet he still firmly and solidly cultivated. He greatly encouraged me.
I began reading Zhuan Falun over and over again, sometimes all night long. I did not feel tired the next day, and was instead more energetic than usual. The deeper meaning of the Fa teachings were revealed to me. I was deeply moved. I realized this was what I had been waiting for lifetime after lifetime. I regretted wasting so many years that I could have been cultivating.
For all those years, I did not understand why Falun Dafa practitioners went out and talked to people about the persecution and encouraged others to quit the CCP (Chinese Communist Party). Now, after reading Master's lectures and articles given since the persecution began, I understand completely.
I kept reading and my body was purified many times. When I began to exercise again, I had diarrhea three to four times a day, with fever and cold symptoms, which lasted about one week. I knew my body was going through purification and continued studying the Fa and exercising.
I came to understand why the cosmos is going through rectification. I understand Buddha's saving grace. I also understand how our cultivation is related to the Fa rectification, our mission to assist Master, and how grand and arduous our mission is. I am so fortunate to be able to return to Dafa!
Informing People about Dafa and the Persecution
Master enlightened me through a dream how important it was to awaken the world's people to learn the truth about Dafa. I wanted to make informational materials myself, so I purchased a printer. Though I am skilled with computers, when I began making materials, it was not an easy process. I also noticed many attachments while making the materials, such as impatience, elation, vanity...
I also went out to distribute the materials. When I first went out, I was so nervous that I was shaking with fear, had trouble breathing, and was perspiring all over. I asked Master to strengthen and protect me. Gradually, my fear dissipated. I sent righteous thoughts while distributing materials and sent out the thought that people would be able to read them and be saved.
Cultivate Myself in Everything I Do
My parents know that Falun Gong is good. I hoped my mother would come back to the Fa and I told her my cultivation experience. But fear still has a grip on her, and she has not returned yet. I realized that fear is like a wall, or a net. One has to have strong righteous thoughts in order to break through it.
My father does not oppose my cultivation, as he knows that the Communist Party is not good, but he does not understand why I would risk my safety to inform people about the persecution. He was very stubborn and he refused to read the informational materials I gave him. Looking inside, I realized that I still need to eliminate my attachment to fighting and sentimentality.
It is not easy to balance life, work, and doing the three things well. When my negative thoughts surfaced, I would recite the Fa teachings to eliminate those notions. When I was able to search within, I would make progress. I became calm, peaceful, and patient. I can sense the improvement of my mentality, as well as the surrounding environment.
I still have a ways to go to catch up, but my mind is clear and determined. I will cultivate diligently, and I will not let Master down.