Cultivating Xinxing From Small Things
(Minghui.org) With help and reminders from fellow practitioners, I overcame my laziness and my habit of relaxing during my days off from work. During those times, I now study a lecture of Zhuan Falun, read Hong Yin and do the exercises.
Righteous thoughts kept arising within me, encouraging me and pushing me forward. The spontaneous thoughts also enable me to see the beauty of Dafa cultivation and help me realize my shortcomings when looking inside.
I would like to share some of the minor tests in my recent cultivation.
Dafa is so beautiful
My brother-in-law and his wife came to our home last weekend because he was going to a nearby hospital for surgery. When I was cooking breakfast for them, I thought about how my brother-in-law was a doctor, but he still got sick.
When he is sick, he is no different from other patients. But because I'm a Dafa practitioner, I have no illnesses at all. Instead, because I'm a cultivator, I could take care of him and his family without complaint. I was so appreciative of Master.
When my brother-in-law was about to be taken into surgery, I told him to silently recite “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I had already helped helped him and his family quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), so I knew that he would be fine.
Cultivation of speech
My mother-in-law is a capable, hardworking woman. She took care of her family very well. Her daughter has epilepsy. My mother-in-law took care of her daughter and financially supported her daughter's family.
Since I started to practice Dafa, I have always tried my best to help others. When we visited my mother-in law during the Chinese New Year, we always brought a lot of gifts.
I helped her cook, did housework, took care of her daughter, who was in the hospital, and even paid for the medical bills. I wanted to reduce the pressure that she was under. They knew that I would not be so helpful and generous if I didn't practice Falun Dafa. But my mind wasn't always calm when I helped them.
Sometimes, I felt that I was being unfair to myself because of the work I did for them and the money I spent on their bills. Gradually, these negative thoughts accumulated.
When I went back to my parents' home and saw my relatives there, they talked about many issues concerning my mother-in-law and her daughter and complained about them.
I joined the conversation and vented my complaints. Both my mother and my husband reminded me that talking behind others' backs, especially my mother-in-law, was destructive gossip.
As I studied the Fa more and more, I realized that, as practitioners, we should not use ordinary people's reasoning and judgment. We must use the Fa principles to elevate ourselves out from ordinary people's mentalities and notions.
I realized that I had an attachment to competitiveness and must quickly eliminate my attachments. Even though I understood this through Fa principles, the negative thoughts persisted.
When my brother-in-law's family came to town for his surgery, they again talked about my mother-in-law's many issues. My desire to vent arose again, but I remembered Master's poem, “Infatuated”:
Life is short,You've merely stopped over at the inn.Don’t forget your vow before descending here;If you hesitate along the path because offame, self-interest, emotion, and revenge,When will you wake up and return to your home? (Hong Yin III)
I realized that I still had not asked my mother-in-law and her daughter to quit the CCP and that their situation must be related to it.
It was my fault. I must cultivate my speech and not talk behind others' backs. As soon as my righteous thoughts strengthened, I felt a warm feeling in my heart, and the subject of the conversation changed.
Being tolerant of others
In Zhuan Falun, Master talked about how a practitioner reacted when they were hit by a car:
“This practitioner slowly got up from the ground and said: “There’s nothing wrong. You can leave.” She brushed off the dirt on her clothes and left with her husband.”
I had read this many times but never paid much attention.
A young man was assigned to the pedicure. When he was doing my left toes, I suddenly felt a sharp pain. He said quietly that he would not charge me. I surmised that he had cut into my toe, and it was bleeding.
I realized that, as a practitioner, I should not blame others or make them bear financial costs related to my karma. So I said to him, “Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. I will pay you as normal. You are working hard, and it is not easy. I cannot take advantage of you.”
He was very touched and said again and again that he met a good person today. I felt very calm and suddenly remembered the above story in Zhuan Falun.
In order to improve my xinxing, Master also arranged this similar event for me.
Eliminating the attachment of feeling that life is unfair
I work as a teacher and was named a director of academic affairs by the former school president in 2009. Due to the work I did, I was always awarded top honors.
The current president took office in 2012. Because he wanted me to report on other teachers to him and I would not do so, he put my name at the bottom of the list during the award nominations.
I was a bit shocked. He didn't care about my reputation at all and basically hinted that I should resign.
However, I realized that I was a practitioner and should have no attachment to fame and gain or for my position. I just wanted do my duty, show a cultivator's righteousness, and live up to all the teachers' expectations for me. So I continued to do all my work well and fulfill my responsibilities.
Even some teachers felt that I was being treated unfairly and said, “You are the main director in our minds!” My mind was moved a little bit, but I remembered Master's poem, “Who's right, who's wrong”:
As a cultivatorOne always looks for one’s own faults’Tis the Way to get rid of attachments most effectivelyThere’s no way to skip ordeals, big or small[During a conflict, if you can remember:]“He’s right,And I’m wrong,”What’s to dispute? (Hong Yin III)
My feelings of being treated unfairly and resentment toward the new president immediately went away. I knew as a practitioner that the situation was helping me improve my xinxing.