I Began to Truly Cultivate after Attending the 2016 New York Fa Conference
(Minghui.org) Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
I was born in Changchun, and I am 19 years old. My family moved to Montreal in 2003, where we attended group Fa study. I began reading Master’s lectures, practicing the exercises and learning how to cultivate when I was little.
Even though I have been a practitioner for many years, I was not very diligent and indulged myself. I truly started cultivating after I attended the 2016 New York Fa Conference.
As a child, I'd always had a bad temper. I was upset whenever my parents lectured me, and I became increasingly stubborn as I grew up. I always got into trouble, and I was frequently grounded. I knew that my behavior did not conform to the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, but I did not understand how to cultivate.
When I was 14, I got into a serious argument with my dad over a trivial thing. My mother told me that anger is a manifestation of demon nature, and that I should ask Master for help to negate it. Mom's words startled me and I began to see that my anger was not the real me. I told Master that I did not want to be an angry person. I began to make a conscious effort to control my temper and I became calm and peaceful. I wholeheartedly felt Master's benevolence and salvation.
Soon afterwards, our family moved, and I no longer had the cultivation environment of weekly group Fa study. I felt a sense of uncertainty because I went to a new high school, had to learn a new language, and make new friends. However, I learned the English language within a year, and went from being illiterate in English to having the highest grades in my class. I knew that Master had endowed me with wisdom.
The 2016 New York Fa Conference
Even though my parents spoke Chinese to me at home, I felt sad that no matter how hard I tried, reading and writing Chinese was still difficult for me. The situation did not improve much even after I attended Chinese classes for years. I became addicted to playing games on my cellphone, and spent a lot of time playing with virtual cats. My grades went down, but I couldn’t stop my obsession with virtual worlds.
During the 2016 New York Fa Conference, Master said, “I have just said, everything in this world is attracting you, not letting you obtain the Fa.”
Master's words touched my heart. I deleted all those games, and never played them again.
When I got home from the conference, I started memorizing Lunyu. At first, I could not read anything in Chinese. But with Master's help, I persevered until I could memorize it. Afterward, when I opened Zhuan Falun, I saw that all of the characters were glowing. This encouraged me to study the Fa in Chinese. I sat in the double lotus position while studying the Fa to practice my endurance. After one hour, it hurt so much that I wanted to cry out loud.
However, I remembered Master said, “"When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it."” (Lecture Nine of Zhuan Falun)
This encouraged me and I was determined to keep studying the Fa while sitting in the double lotus position. A year ago, I couldn’t even read Chinese characters. Now, I am able to write my cultivation experience in Chinese.
I felt the pressure and urgency to save sentient beings, so I started to ask people to sign petitions by going door-to-door. As this was my first truth-clarification project I gained a lot of experience, and had some touching moments.
One day, a young Chinese man opened the door. I told him about the Party's crime of forced human organ harvesting, but his response was that he didn't want to sign the petition. I asked, “Why not?” He said, “Because Falun Gong is illegal.”
I knew that one thought could make a big difference. My heart was not moved. I only felt compassion for him. Master inspired me with the correct words and I listed some of the evidence proving that forced human organ harvesting is really happening. When I was done he happily signed the petition.
I came to understand that no matter what kind of people I am faced with, I will only be able to save them when I conform to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
Getting Rid of the Attachment to Fear
Last September, I moved back to Montreal to go to university. As I thought about how to arrange my new lifestyle at school, I realized that I needed to study the Fa well, practice the exercises, and clarify the truth to people. I knew that Master was looking after me and worrying about me leaving Dafa when my mom would not be by my side.
After I moved to Montreal, I joined group Fa studies every week, participated in the youth practitioner online Fa studies, and returned to Tian Guo Marching Band. This precious environment enabled me to improve myself, and gave me opportunities to clarify the truth and save sentient beings.
The timing of my arrival in Montreal coincided with the local Shen Yun promotion. One practitioner who knew that I was a student insisted that I introduce Shen Yun to my professors. I have always been shy and I am scared to talk to adults, let alone approach my professors. I felt even more stressed because this was related to Dafa. However, I reminded myself that Master had arranged everything.
When I shared my concerns with fellow practitioners my fear began dissipating. One day while I was sending forth righteous thoughts, I suddenly had a good idea about how to promote Shen Yun to my professors. Master inspired me to use the end of the term as an excuse to thank the professors, and introduce Shen Yun to them. This way, I could show my respect while casually mentioning Shen Yun to them. When I actually did it, Master helped me. To my surprise, even though I was a little nervous, I did not have any problems.
This reminds me of an excerpt from Master’s lecture:
“All of you are already aware of the principle of mutual-generation and mutual-inhibition. If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist. This is not to be self-imposed, but is achieved by truly and calmly letting go of it.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
My Attachment to Self
When I was young I was praised for some things that I did well, and I developed a high opinion of myself. I mistakenly thought that since I had Tian Guo Marching Band experience when I was younger I would be very familiar with the songs and that I did not need to practice to be good at playing my instrument. But during the rehearsals, I realized that I was not improving, but rather deteriorating in my ability to play the music. I found that my attachment to self and my desire to be important were the cause of the problems. I started practicing my instrument every day, and I improved. Before, I felt like I was running out of breath. Now, I feel fine.
In cultivation, it's very important to persevere. Because the band as a whole had righteous thoughts and worked hard on improving our xinxing, our Tian Guo Marching Band made it through a parade during one of the most brutal winter days in 80 years.
I strongly felt that our every thought is being compared and assessed with Dafa's standards. During parades I never stop sending forth righteous thoughts while playing my musical instrument. Whenever I have a negative thought I recite the words to eliminate the evil. Whenever my thoughts stray, the sound of my instrument drops, and the instrument became frozen by the cold. As soon as my righteous thoughts returned, the sound grew louder. During the parade, I felt that my whole body was wrapped inside a blanket of energy, and I did not feel cold even though it was minus 30 degrees Celsius. When I got home, I had frostbite on my ears. My ears were red, swollen, and painful.
Originally, I planned to go to my friend’s house to study for a test, and use this as an opportunity to clarify the truth to her about the persecution of Falun Dafa. But when I got home, I felt tired and wanted to go to sleep, and I didn’t want to move at all. I told my friend that I would go to her place the next day. While I did not feel the sense of urgency she was anxious to be saved, and she insisted that I come that day.
I realized that the pain in my ears was really interference from the old forces. They saw through my laziness, and wanted to take advantage of this loophole to stop me from doing the right thing. I negated it, and went to meet my friend. When I clarified the truth to her, my Chinese classmate knew a little bit about Falun Dafa already, and was happy to accept the truth. I felt that it went smoothly because for 20 years, practitioners kept clarifying the truth and doing the exercises in Chinatown and this contributed a lot to the whole truth-clarification effort.
I will continue to be diligent in cultivation. If there is anything inappropriate, please kindly point it out.
Thank you, Master.
Thank you, fellow practitioners.
(Presented at the 2017 Canada Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference)