Letting Go of Self-importance
(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1998. At the beginning, I diligently promoted the practice and paid attention to cultivating my xinxing. After the persecution began, I stumbled along. Every time I fell, Master helped me get up. I finally woke up and became a true, steadfast cultivator.
Conceit and Self-importance
While I grew up, I used to be in charge of many family matters, from buying stuff for my parents to defending my little sister when she was bullied.
As a practitioner, I brought the audio tape player to the exercise site, was responsible for teaching new practitioners the exercises, arranging experience-sharing conferences, and was the main contact person.
After the onset of the Fa rectification period, I got Master's new articles from other cities. There was always a Dafa project that I was asked to get involved in.
After long-term involvement in all kinds of Dafa activities, I developed the attachment to self-importance. I saw myself as the one in charge and did not allow other practitioners to question me. My fellow practitioners did not dare point out my attachments in front of me. During arguments, I claimed that their enlightenment was evil, which caused a negative impact among practitioners.
Recalling those times, I remembered how I treated practitioners and how I had asserted will. Now, I realize that I was childish and ridiculous – I was conceited and filled with self-importance.
Changing Thoughts, Attitude and Behavior
Master recognized my problem and arranged for a practitioner from another city to awaken me. She told me that many local practitioners complained about me. I was deeply shocked. She patiently shared with me and I finally realized my attachments and their impact and damage on our local cultivation environment.
Another practitioner talked to me before she was about to move to a different province. She worried about me and shared compassionately where she believed I needed to improve. She pointed out my attachments.
When I watched Master's video, Fa Teaching Given to the Australia Practitioners, I realized that my attachments were very strong and that it was serious. I sent forth righteous thoughts and decided to eliminate them, including the thinking that I was better than others, and boasting.
Later, I dreamed that Master cleansed me and removed many negative substances. I was gradually able to discuss things with other practitioners harmoniously. I could share and no longer talked in a commanding voice. I apologized to the practitioners whom I had criticized and was forgiven.
Practitioners in our area were able to cooperate and we improved in our truth clarification efforts. However, I had to keep reminding myself that I should never think that I was better than anyone around me, and only see the good in them.
Master Gives Wisdom
Now, I am able to face different kinds of behavior and share when we are of different opinion. I no longer demand that people listen to me or use Master's Fa teachings to validate my own view.
After studying the Fa, I realized that shortcomings by fellow practitioners are something that was a phase in someone's cultivation. Master is looking after everyone and arranges every practitioner's cultivation. If it is meant for me to see their shortcomings, I would share with them but not be attached to changing them. It also could be meant for me to get rid of my attachment and learn to be tolerant.
When practitioners did not clarify the truth about Dafa in the way I thought they should, I remembered that I should send righteous thoughts to support them instead of lecturing them.
After a less educated practitioner clarified the truth I could not contain myself and talked to her about the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) political movements. Although I felt that I had enhanced her knowledge about Chinese history, she was intimidated by my advising her and stopped talking to people about Dafa. I learned that everyone handles truth clarification efforts differently.
From then on, I always supported practitioners when they talked to people about Falun Dafa by sending forth righteous thoughts. I am no longer picky about how practitioners clarify the truth. As long as we are all on the Fa, Master shall give us wisdom and miracles will happen.
I feel lighthearted and am no longer tired. I am not in charge of everything anymore, but let each practitioner walk their own path. Things can resolve themselves and Master gives each practitioner the opportunity to improve.