Conflicts Arranged by Master
(Minghui.org) During the past 20 years of my cultivation in Falun Dafa, I have met two practitioners who tested my xinxing the most. They are serious, decisive, quick to get things done, short-tempered, and do not hesitate to criticize others. We were often in conflict during truth clarification projects. I used to feel helpless and aggrieved, because it never dawned on me that these conflicts were arranged by Master.
Dealing Indirectly with Conflict
During the first few years Abbie complained that I was too slow and hesitated too much. I could not understand why she was so short-tempered, and why she could not be more compassionate.
When I was struggling with her attitude, a thought crossed my mind, “You have to have someone like her in your life.” I felt that it was a hint from Master and could not figure out what it meant, but thought that it had to do with my limited wisdom.
Then, I met Betty in a Fa study group a few years ago. She appeared to be somber, and I realized that she was meant to help me improve, so I kept quiet when she criticized me.
I decided to talk to her and said, “I think if I were one of your employees I would have been fired because you would have yelled at me for being incompetent. Actually, all your strong points are shortcomings in me. I wish I could learn more from you, but since you seem to be angry with me, I avoided you.”
“You don't know me well,” she said. “I was very nice to my employees. They knew I have a soft heart and a sharp tongue. Ah, now I know why you stayed away from me. I'm such a fool! I didn't even realize you have been avoiding me!”
My next thought was that I had ruined our relationship even further. We met at Ms. Xiao Li's home the next day. Betty told me she had misunderstood me. After she left, Ms. Xiao said that she did not think that Betty got the message.
When I met up with Betty again, she seemed to be angry, so I said, “You misunderstood me. I saw you lose temper easily, and wanted to point it out indirectly. I truly hope you would calm down a little. I apologize if my words hurt your feelings.”
“Actually I don't want to lose my temper,” she responded. “I want to change. You must be straightforward. If you say anything indirectly, I don't understand it. My thoughts are very simple. All I think about are Master, Dafa and Minghui.”
I was very touched by her words. I realized that my words were influenced by my indoctrination by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and my human notions.
A Light Bulb Came on in my Mind
When Betty, Ms. Xiao and I were chatting, Betty mentioned that she had two dreams involving us. In her first dream, I put a dirty tissue into her purse. In the second, she and Ms. Xiao tried to put a duvet into a duvet cover, but the duvet was too small. We thought that the second dream meant that we had expand our hearts' capacity, but we could not understand the first dream. I worried that it was an indication of my poor cultivation.
“I have told everyone in my Fa lectures that when a conflict arises between two people and it’s seen by a third person, even the third person should think to himself, 'Oh, a confrontation is happening between them, so why is it that I was there to see it? Is it because I have certain attachments? Is it because I have that kind of problem as well?'” (Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia)
Reading this, it dawned on me that whatever happens is related to my cultivation. I then realized that Betty was helping me expand the capacity of my heart. Even though I knew that I was introverted and had a limited tolerance, I had not realized she was here to help me, just as Master had planned.
“If you can manage to handle things calmly no matter how wronged you may feel, if you can remain unmoved and not try to come up with some kind of excuse for yourself, then with many things you won’t even need to argue. That’s because on your path of cultivation there is nothing that is by chance. So, when you get into a heated exchange and it stirs things up in you, or you get into a conflict over something that concerns your vital interests, perhaps the factors behind it were put there by Master. Maybe you only get upset when it’s a case of someone saying something that really provokes you or hits a sore spot. And maybe the person really did treat you wrongfully. But, those words weren’t necessarily said by that person. Perhaps they were said by me. I want to see how you handle things at the time. When you butt heads with that person, it actually equates to butting heads with me.”(“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan,” Teaching the Fa at the Conference X)
Master's words awakened me, and I worried when I thought about my past behavior. I told Master that I had failed to enlighten to this Fa principle for more than 10 years. At this moment, a warm energy flow filled my body. I finally understood Master's hint.
From then on, I carefully looked inward when Betty criticized me. I indeed found many problems. It took more than 10 years for that light bulb come on off in my mind.