Falun Dafa Dissolved My Resentment Toward My Husband
(Minghui.org) I married my husband even though he came from a poor family. I thought, “As long as we love each other and have stable jobs, our lives will get better.”
But I did not realize that we would be saddled with financial burdens. In addition to raising our family, we had to take care of our parents. I was also expected to send money to my mother-in-law who lived in a rural area. I often felt that these expectations were not fair.
When I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1996, I was moved by the profound principles and realized that everything happens for a reason. I thought, “I must be strict with myself and follow the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance taught by Master. No matter what the circumstances, I must be a good and selfless person.”
Soon afterwards, I stopped complaining. I supported my family and sent my mother-in-law my salary. My husband, however, kept his wages. Whenever festivals came, I bought presents and sent my mother-in-law money. She has several sons and daughters, and my husband is her youngest child. For more than 10 years, my husband and I were the only one's who paid my mother-in-law's medical expenses.
I later lost my job because of the persecution by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). Even though money was tight, I still managed to give my mother-in-law money. During this time, my husband seldom gave me money.
After I was detained for my belief in Falun Dafa and later released, my husband frequently began returning home very late at night, and sometimes he did not come home at all. He never took care of his family. I had to deal with everything!
I had just been released from a forced-labor camp at that time and was unemployed. I was also being watched every day by people sent by the police station, the neighborhood committee, and my workplace. I was under a lot of stress.
Because I had been arrested and was away from home more than 10 times, my husband had begun idling away his time in pleasure-seeking and did not take care of our child or spend time with him. Our son did not apply himself to his studies because he was obsessed with playing video games. Whenever there were parent-teacher meetings at his school, the teachers often asked me to have a private talk with them.
I once received a phone call from a man who told me that his ex-wife and my husband were living together. I could not believe my ears! I thought, “I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, I am not supposed to get angry and should forgive others. I am going to ask my husband about it when he comes home. I will overlook this if he promises not to do it again.”
I talked to my husband that evening. As soon as he heard this, he started to throw things around like he was crazy. He stubbornly refused to admit having an affair. Later, he said that he would stop living with the woman but could not quit playing mahjong.
I was deeply hurt, and my pain, grievances, and resentment all came welling up. When I thought of all the sacrifices I had made for the family over the years, I began weeping, “How could he be so ungrateful!”
When I picked up Zhuan Falun, I suddenly remembered that I'm a practitioner. I knew that my attachment to emotion was very strong and that I was yearning for an easy life. I decided, “I must cultivate myself well and do my best to take care of our child so that my husband will be less worried about things at home.”
But my husband kept playing mahjong and coming home late. Ten years later, when I saw the message my husband sent to his lover on Valentine's Day, I was shocked: Despite his promise, my husband had been having a love affair with this woman for over ten years. He had not changed at all and deceived me for so long!
In Mainland China, if a man has a love affair he is often admired. I couldn’t control his behavior, but I have kept taking care of our son and his mother every day. He shouldn’t have deceived me for so many years! The hatred that surged up in my heart was so strong, I also hated the evil CCP for ruining my happy home. I said to Master in my heart: “Master, please help me. I cannot put up with it anymore. I really want to divorce him so that I can free myself from this suffering.”
When I looked at Master’s picture, I suddenly realized that although I had been practicing cultivation for so many years, why did I still have such strong resentment and jealousy? I thought, “I am too narrow-minded. Every day Master is sacrificing for his disciples and sentient beings. My fellow practitioners are all busy saving people, but I cannot free myself from my personal conflicts. I am deeply regretful for being so far away from the requirements for a practitioner!
For so many years, I have resented my husband for his having an affair. I didn't trust him and was always suspicious. This situation existed because of my attachments!”
I approached my husband and said: “If you really love this woman, you can marry her. If you're carrying on with her just for fun or to satisfy your lust, you’d better break it off; otherwise, you are not only harming her, but also yourself.”
He replied: “Where can I find a woman better than a Dafa practitioner? You did not mind that I am from a poor family, and you have been taking care of my mother and our child. Besides that, you are also being persecuted. Life really is not easy for you. I have been ignoring you for so many years, yet you are still kind. You are a person of integrity and kindness. I have wronged you. It is my lust that's making me do this. I am very scared because you have frequently been taken away or locked up by the police. I cannot withstand the temptation and loneliness. All right, I will leave her so we can patch up our marriage.”
I suddenly had no resentment toward my husband; I felt compassion instead, because he was also suffering. Under communist rule, the morals in China have been reversed, and good people are now behaving badly – many families have been destroyed.
A few years have passed, and we did not divorce. I am at peace. If I did not practice Falun Dafa, I couldn’t have handled this situation. I will try my best to do the three things well and value the opportunities we have to save people.
Through cultivation practice, I've enjoyed great health. For more than 20 years, I haven’t taken any medicine. I look younger, and my skin is rosy. Everyone remarks that I look so young!
My husband’s behavior has completely changed for the better. He has also read many Dafa books and helps me talk to people about the persecution. When I sued Jiang Zemin, the former head of the CCP for launching the persecution of Falun Dafa, my husband not only encouraged me, but also posted his own letter to sue Jiang and signed his real name.
We are all grateful to Master and Dafa for restoring harmony to our family.