Uplifting My Realm Through Memorizing The Fa
I had already failed the lust test many times. It came so frequently that I was afraid to sleep or take a nap. The lust demon would appear whenever I closed my eyes. I tried very hard to look inside and study the Fa more, but I still could not pass the test. I felt so bad.
I truly wanted to improve myself, to become a diligent Dafa disciple. So each time I woke up from such a dream, I regretted it so much that I pounded my head and recited again and again the sentence Master told us:
"I’m not an ordinary person. I’m a practitioner. You shouldn’t treat me this way, for I’m a FalunDafa practitioner." (Zhuan Falun)
I could improve a little after I memorized this Fa, but after just a few days passed, the demon came back.
I thought that maybe I had to change my way of studying the Fa. If I could press all the Fa into my mind, to uplift my realm, I could pass and eliminate such recurring dream tests. I decided to memorize the Fa.
My body felt so light and weightless as soon as the idea was generated. However, I was not sure if I could memorize the whole book because my memory had always been poor. Memorizing the entire book sounded like an impossible dream. I decided to give it a shot anyway.
Changing the Powerful Notion of “Difficulty”
It was very hard for me to set a specific period of time each day to memorize the Fa. I needed to read a paragraph 40 to 50 times in order to memorize it. If a paragraph was very long, covering an entire page, for example, I had to read it 60 or 70 times before I could memorize it. If I could memorize a paragraph after reading it only 10 to 20 times, that would be a big surprise and I would feel very happy about that. I spent about ten months this way to finish memorizing Zhuan Falun for the first time. The second time, it took five months.
How did I memorize each paragraph? I would read the whole paragraph three to five times first, so I had a general idea about it; I would then memorized each sentence. I made sure I memorized each one accurately, without adding, missing, or changing words.
With regard to some sentences that had similar structures, I analyzed them to find out their relationships to each other or their meanings, so I would not be tongue-tied when reciting them.
Reciting the whole paragraph was the last step, but it was not easy. Sometimes a sentence was recited correctly the first time, but when I tried to put the paragraph together, I forgot part of it. What was the reason? I opened the book to find the reason: There was a big gap in meaning between two sentences. Master taught the meanings at different levels. I could recite both of the two sentences after I understood the inner meaning between them.
I felt that Master was watching and guiding me during my memorizing process. I would feel uncomfortable if I had memorized some words wrong or confused some words with others. A question arose in my mind and I also felt that a specific part of the sentence did not look correct. I opened the book to check and found that the error was in the exact spot that I felt uneasy with.
Sometimes a long paragraph was recited quickly and easily if I had a good understanding about it. I was reluctant to move on after such successful attempts.
An interesting phenomenon occurred during the process. There was a certain paragraph that I had read many times in group Fa-study and by myself. I also discussed the meaning of that paragraph with others. While I was memorizing the same paragraph, I felt it was suddenly fresh and new, like I had never read it before. That fresh feeling made me regret that I was so late in memorizing the Fa. I would not have fallen down as many times if I had just memorized the Fa before. I would have grasped these Fa principles earlier.
Changing the Notion of Suffering
Suffering was my initial feeling when I started to memorize the Fa. This feeling of suffering changed into joy during the process.
I copied Zhuan Falun twice by hand. I had to write it down before I memorized it, otherwise I could not memorize anything.
The most impressive part for me was when I memorized the sixth talk of Zhuan Falun. I always noticed how this particular lecture had noticeably longer paragraphs. Different mindsets caused me to learn at different speeds.
During the first time memorizing this lecture, it took one day to finish memorizing one page or just one paragraph. Thought karma often snuck in, causing me to think about some past incidents. Sometimes several minutes passed before I would realize it. It was a very slow process. Sometimes I wanted to cry or give up because I could not see any hope of success.
It was such suffering for me to bear! However, as I recalled the many setbacks on my cultivation path, they were all due to my lack of solidly studying the Fa. This time I was on the right track. I decided to continue memorizing the Fa. I finally finished memorizing the sixth lecture by the end of last year’s summer vacation.
This same feeling of difficulty arose in my mind before I started to memorize the Fa for the second time. But my mind stayed calm when I started again.
When I got to Lecture Six again, I had many different thoughts: “This talk is so long! It explains that Master has resolved many problems for practitioners like me. So much karmic resentment created after many generations, the bad feelings in my practice, and the lust demon in my dreams, were all resolved in this talk by Master.”
If a Bodhisattva was holding Zhuan Falun to memorize, would he or she be upset at feeling the difficulty in memorizing it? Or was that a degenerated notion, and part of the atheism in other dimensions, that was dictating my body and preventing me from assimilating to the Fa?
I calmed down and memorized however much I could. The speed of memorizing was surprisingly quick after I let go of my human notions. I learned 10 pages the first day, 10 pages the second day, and 12 pages the third day. I spent two days finishing the rest. It only took five days to memorize the whole sixth talk. It was unbelievable!
I usually hand copied Zhuan Falun in the evening for over five hours before I started to memorize the following morning. I would sit on my bed with legs crossed and begin to memorize the Fa until around 5:00 p.m. Then I would sit at the table to hand copy the Fa to start a new cycle. Finishing the six talk made me calm, peaceful and lightly joyful.
Master strengthening me was the real reason I was moving forward.
Main Consciousness Strengthened
One obvious benefit of my Fa-memorizing experience was having my main consciousness strengthened.
I used to be a person with a weak personality. I did what I was told and said what others said. I seldom thought deeply about what was right and what was wrong because I had no ability to analyze it. If some bossy person told me to do something, I would definitely do it, even if I was reluctant.
Memorizing the Fa made me realize that my main consciousness was too weak; it could not control my body. My sub-consciousness, beings from other dimensions, and average people easily interfered with me.
I had to be my true self! When encountering incidents after this realization, I would think, “Should I do this or not? Which one of the thoughts is from my true self? What kind of result will I get if I follow that recommendation?”
I kept practicing that way and not too long afterward, my main consciousness began to make decisions, became more powerful, and finally dominate my mind and body. I felt confident, happy, and peaceful.
Passing Tribulations Successfully
The second benefit I gained from memorizing the Fa was with help in dealing with local policemen.
Last November, some local state security officers questioned me about my filing criminal complaints against Jiang Zemin. I was nervous, but my thoughts were clear. I told them what they did was unlawful, and that practicing Falun Gong was completely reasonable and legal in the context of current Chinese laws. I also told them the information about Dafa. No one has come to disturb me since.
My husband was shocked after he found out what happened.
He told my parents that I had sued the former chairman, and that I was facing investigation and would be arrested soon. He verbally abused me and asked for a divorce. He even came to my work unit and asked my boss to force me to renounce Falun Gong.
At that time, I had just finished memorizing Zhuan Falun for the first time. Master had strengthened me, so I was able to defend myself with reason and power from Dafa to my parents, my boss, and others involved.
Dafa gave me the power to be independent and brave. I was not afraid of my husband’s threats. I agreed to divorce him because I had full confidence in my future. The funny thing was that my husband changed his mind and refused to divorce me.
I have benefited greatly from memorizing the Fa; therefore I wrote this article to let fellow practitioners know they can do it too.
Thanks to Master! Thanks to fellow practitioners!