A Magic Key to Our Parenting Challenges
(Minghui.org) As the moral standard in our society gets lower and lower, it becomes harder and more challenging for parents to teach children how to be kind and self-disciplined. As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I've taught my son to follow Dafa's principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. My son has benefited a lot from them. Falun Dafa is my magic key to parenting problems.
My Son Learned Tolerance
When my son was in elementary school, he came home one day very angry. He looked around for his nerf gun, saying he wanted to shoot his class monitor for kicking him in front of all their classmates while they were lining up.
I told him, “Son, you have to learn how to be tolerant. Did he kick you because you weren't in line? He must have been anxious to make the line straight. Those who have great missions must have great tolerance. Do you remember the story of General Han Xin, who tolerated the insult of crawling between a thug's legs? Tolerance isn't being cowardly. In fact, the more tolerant you are, the better you have cultivated yourself. If you kicked him in your past life, then you have paid your debt today. If you didn't owe him anything in the past, he has given you virtue today. Being tolerant is the key to solving problems. If he continues to bully you, I can talk to his parents.”
My son gave up the idea of retaliation. The next day he told me that he had apologized to his class monitor. I gave him a thumbs-up. He smiled.
My son was the discipline monitor in middle school. He had to help enforce the school rules. He took his duty seriously and stopped a girl from talking during class. The girl started crying. One boy said my son bullied the girl and slapped my son in the face. My son tearfully told me, “I did the right thing, but he slapped me. Mom, I didn't fight back, though.”
I noticed my son was gradually learning how to be tolerant. He told me, “I feel upset sometimes, but at least I managed to be tolerant instead of making conflicts worse.”
My Son Learned to Forgive
My husband is a very strict pilot trainer. His students are afraid of him and so was our son. Though my husband loves our son, he doesn't easily show his affection. He often complained about our son's shortcomings and sometimes spanked him. Our son was intimidated and always remained silent when he was around his dad.
When he was in college, our son brought his bed sheet home to wash it. I noticed that it was badly torn, and I asked him what happened. He replied it was because he often had nightmares about fighting his dad, and he thrust his legs and feet through the sheet. Once he threw a fist at the wall during a fighting nightmare. I realized my husband's strict parenting had deeply hurt our son. It was actually one of the reasons why he had depression later in college.
Our son worked very hard in college, trying to prove to his dad that he wasn't “good for nothing.” He made excellent grades, became a top student, and earned a merit scholarship every year. However, his health got worse and worse due to the stress. He had a herniated lumbar disc, insomnia, dizziness, no appetite, and other problems. He felt it was hard to drag himself to finish school and get his degree. He got depressed and felt life was meaningless. After one of his friends committed suicide by jumping off a tall building, he also thought about death.
I told my son, “Master told us committing suicide is the crime of killing.” I knew it was not easy for him to let go of his grievances against his father. Learning the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance was the only way to help him.
I suggested that he begin reading Zhuan Falun. He read some pages every night. Within a few months, Falun Dafa completely dispersed the dark cloud in his mind. He finally forgave his dad. He became healthy. He graduated with honors and went overseas for graduate school.
My Son Learned to Be Thankful
My son has benefited greatly from his cultivation in Falun Dafa. He learned to be thankful to his parents. He works hard on his studies and never spends money casually. He said that we worked hard for the money we sent him and that we should have spent it on ourselves. He said he treasures our support.
I'm grateful for Dafa to have blessed me and my husband with such an honest, thankful, and hard-working son! Master saved him! I sincerely hope all children will benefit from Falun Dafa!