Finding My Own Attachments When I See Others' Shortcomings
(Minghui.org) At the beginning of the semester, a few students who were repeating the grade were assigned to my class. Day after day, they said bad words, cursed each other, and did not follow the rules.
I tried to endure having them in the class; I talked to them individually and helped them again and again. I felt exhausted because of the extra time it took, like a bottle filled with water that could not tolerate anymore. With just one more drop of water, I will overflow. I did not think this was a good state of mind to have. However, after looking within for three months, I still did not know what my part of this was!
"Buddha’s light illuminates everywhere,Propriety and justice are perfected and illuminated.” (“Harmonizing with Fa” from Hong Yin)
So how could my field be filled with such disputes?
One day a student said dirty words again; I immediately and angrily forced him to stand and asked him to fill out a behavior counseling form. He wrote: "I regret that I said some dirty words. If there is another opportunity, I will not say that." I suddenly understood what the problem was. The way these students have no respect, are impatient, look down on others, are self-righteous, and are lazy is a reflection of my problem!
I realized that I impatiently interrupt other people, which is not respectful. I deal with things hurriedly because of my laziness, and I am not willing to give things more time. I was jealous and always felt myself superior, and I often judged things from only my point of view.
“You should always be benevolent and kind to others, and consider others when doing anything. Whenever you encounter a problem, you should first consider whether others can put up with this matter or if it will hurt anyone. In doing so, there will not be any problems.” (Zhuan Falun)
When the students had conflicts, because of my attachment to fear of losing face, I looked outward. Looking within, I had hidden hatred, and I always remembered those students' appearances when they behaved improperly. I had notions about them and failed to treat them like I treat other students. I should treat them fairly with no self-interest.
After I realized my problem, a student said a dirty word. I smiled and asked him: “Why do you say that?” He said: “Sorry, I'm used to doing so. I know it's wrong and I will correct myself.” I encouraged him to improve and said I believe he will do well. In this way, the “on the brink of violence” mood disappeared. The student asked: “Why don't you get angry anymore? No punishment anymore?”
I told him I practice Falun Gong and my Master asks us to put others first. After I said this to the students, he apologized for his behavior and asked what Falun Gong is and the reason for the persecution.
Watching the students, I was happy because they learned the facts about Falun Gong, and I thanked them for helping me to see my own shortcomings.
After I found my problem, I saw that a new me was born when I did the fifth exercise, the meditation.