Selfishness Hidden Behind “For the Good of Others”
(Minghui.org) We are on a cultivation path departing from the old universe that is based on selfishness to a new universe based on altruism. However, the remaining notions of the old universe in our minds will affect our thoughts and actions.
One example is that when we consider “for others' benefit,” the so-called benefit contains selfishness and human notions.
My wife is also a practitioner. She asked me to attend a family party to improve relations with her side of the family. The gathering was in a private karaoke room.
I wanted to eat at home and chat with her family members. I thought that the karaoke room was not a good place for a practitioner to be because the waitresses often wear skimpy clothes and the environment is full of lust and desire. Why should I pay money to be in that kind of environment?
My wife said I was old-fashioned and needed to experience modern life. She also said it wouldn't cost me anything because her siblings would pay the bill.
We couldn't agree with each other. My wife had already gotten defensive, so arguing wouldn't solve the problem; I agreed to go and planned to talk with her family just a little bit.
I sent forth righteous thoughts to clean the environment before I entered. They started singing and dancing, but I fell asleep because I had an exhausting day at work.
As a result, my wife's family asked me to leave. My wife was not pleased and asked me, “Why couldn't you have some energy and have some fun with them?” I was too tired to explain and fell asleep.
The next day, I shared my understanding with her. Although she thought the party was “for my benefit,” it actually interfered with my cultivation. As a practitioner, she should not go to these kinds of places. She understood and dropped the subject.
Once, my sister bought me some expensive fruit. But my body was intolerant to it and felt sick, so I told my sister, “If you’re doing this for my good, you have to find something that suits me. Otherwise, it may do just the opposite.” She agreed.
We often subconsciously regard our own opinions as right or better than others'. If a matter involves other practitioners, we often impose our own opinions upon others and promote them as being “for the good of others.”
If practitioners who we are close to don't accept our opinions, we might regard them as stupid or stubborn and get upset with them.
My understanding is that the receiving party should recognize the goodwill in the offer, and the offering party should not impose his or her own opinion on others too strongly.
So why would we become upset if other people don't take our advice for their own benefit? I noticed that we often embed some selfishness while trying to be considerate. If we want others to do something our way, it's a manifestation of selfishness.
If one is absolutely selfless, one will respect others' opinions.
On the other hand, when you hear a different opinion, will you give it fair consideration? Will you appreciate a fellow practitioner's different opinion? A practitioner should consider all opinions based on the Fa even if they don’t conform to their own.
Different lives have different characteristics, different environments, and different ways to validate the Fa. They may even have different opinions on trivial day-to-day matters.
The ego and human notions are often the factors preventing us from cooperating well in truth-clarification projects. The process of cultivation is one of purifying one's life. We should relinquish the attachment to ego, human notions, and opinions and become a purer and more righteous life.