China Fahui: Solidly Cultivating Myself
(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master. Greetings, fellow practitioners.
On New Year's day 1999, I visited my sister, who was sick. Her skin was loose, wrinkly, and pale. She had gone to the hospital and tried some sort of qigong, but neither helped much.
But when I went to see her again a month later, she was full of energy, and her skin was smooth and glowing. I was so surprised. She said, “Falun Gong healed me.” “Is it really so powerful?” I asked. “Yes, it was amazing. It took only one day. The effect was instantaneous.”
I will never forget that day. I decided to read the book Zhuan Falun. I was awakened when I read the words on the second page:
“Isn’t this offering salvation to humankind? Offering salvation to humankind means that you will be truly practicing cultivation, and not just healing illness and keeping fit.”
Salvation? Cultivation? Yes, this is salvation and cultivation.
I continued reading and saw the following:
“To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments. In ordinary human society, people compete with, deceive, and harm each other for a little personal gain. All of these mentalities must be given up. Especially for people who are studying the practice today, these mentalities should be given up even further.” (Zhuan Falun).
I realized immediately: This is what I want.
Master soon purified my body. Since the persecution began, I have been validating the Fa in all kinds of places. I would like to share my experiences of making Dafa materials and letting people know about the persecution.
Learning Computer Techniques to Make Materials
We didn't have a material production site in our area. Fellow practitioners could not read Master's new articles in time, and we were often out of Dafa materials. In 2004, I decided to set up a site myself. In October, with Master's help, a practitioner from out of town came and helped me to set up.
Another local practitioner and I tried to learn how to operate a computer and a printer. That practitioner quit after learning how to turn the machines on and off. I said to myself, “I cannot quit. Fellow practitioners are waiting, and sentient beings are waiting for the materials.”
I tried my best and took a lot of notes. Sometimes I thought I knew how to do a certain thing, but after the teacher left, I got confused again. It was very hard, but I refused to give up.
Two weeks later, the practitioner who was teaching me had go out of town. I cried, thinking that he would be gone forever. Our local coordinator asked me why I was crying. I told her, “I haven't finished my training yet, but he's leaving.” She smiled, “He'll come back. If he doesn't, I will teach you.” I stopped crying.
Although I am not very smart, I have the strong will obtained from cultivation. Now I can operate the computer and printer easily and make all kinds of materials. I even know how to fix the broken printer and install satellites. One day, a practitioner said to me, “They told me you are not very smart.” I answered, “Yes, but why have I been able to walk on this path till now?” She said, “Because you put your heart into it.”
Very often, fellow practitioners asked me to teach them some basic computer skills. And very often they quit after one lesson. They were amazed: “How have you learned so much?” I said, “Step by step.”
I am not smart a person, and I didn't know the right questions to ask when I was being trained. All I could do was to try my best to remember whatever the teacher taught me.
Another practitioner in my area knows a lot about computers. When practitioners ask him questions, he is usually impatient and does not want to teach them. Thus, they are not happy with him. But I don't mind. No matter how he treats me, I do not get angry. I always ask him to teach me until I learn what I need to learn. That way, I've learned a lot from him.
Using the Wisdom Given by Master to Write Sharing Articles
I didn't finish middle school. It was hard for me to write a 500-word essay.
In 2005, a local practitioner was arrested and tortured. Other practitioners asked me to write an article for the Minghui website to report on the persecution. I sat in front of the computer for a whole day and finished a short article. The Minghui editors revised it and published. I studied the published version carefully and tried to learn how others write.
In 2007, a fellow practitioner was arrested, and her mother tried hard to rescue her. I learned about their situation and wrote an article for Minghu. Through this process, I had some ideas about how to write and how to make the content rich. Since then, I have written other articles to expose the persecution.
In 2009, I wrote a sharing article, and Minghui published it, which gave me a lot of confidence. Writing is no longer hard for me to do. Sometimes I even help other practitioners to write.
In 2015, practitioners filed lawsuits against Jiang Zemin, the former head of the communist party who started the persecution. I finished a 10,000-word file, which didn't take me much time. I also helped fellow practitioners to write their lawsuits. They were pleased with the results, because their suits stated the facts clearly and expressed what they wanted to express.
A practitioner, who is a Chinese language teacher, asked me for help. I said, “You teach Chinese. Yet you ask me for help?” She said, “This is not everyday people's stuff. I cannot handle it well.”
Looking Inward during Conflicts and Solidly Cultivating Myself
I am a stubborn person. Because of this and my lack of Fa-study, I often had conflicts with fellow practitioners. I didn't know how to look inward, so the conflicts got worse and worse.
In 2012, I was arrested in another town. After being released, I visited a fellow practitioner in my own area, where I got arrested again. Although I was released the same day, fellow practitioners were afraid that they would be implicated. They, especially those who had conflicts with me, didn't want to contact me.
I understood their fear, and I was concerned about safety. But some practitioners were used by the old forces and tried to isolate me from the group. They said bad things about me behind my back, and sometimes they even made up rumors to slander me. They told every practitioner in my city not to contact me.
It would have been fine if they were concerned about practitioners' safety, but that was not their motivation. I was upset. How could they do that? Wasn't that helping the old forces to persecute practitioners? I got madder and madder, and the environment got worse and worse. I was spied on and followed by police and was isolated by practitioners. I complained to Master in my heart: “Master, no matter how bad I am, they shouldn't treat me like this.”
I was suffering from the big burden. I learned from the Fa that one may betray Dafa if the pressure is too great. Master told me: “With attachments too strong, bearings are lost.” (“The Knowing Heart” from Essentials for Further Advancement II) What should I do?
One day, I said to myself, “I should not worry about other people's opinions. Just solidly cultivate myself.” All of a sudden I felt relaxed. That night, I had a dream. There was a big mountain and a waterfall. I walked upstream and saw a golden book floating in the water. I ran towards it and picked it. “The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection” was written on the cover. The book was not wet at all. When I woke up, I realized my thought during the day was correct.
After that, I calmed down and no longer complained about anybody. I started to treat everybody with compassion. Cultivation is amazing. If you want to cultivate, Master will help you. The boiling heart can calm down immediately.
But after calming down, I still needed to conduct myself well when facing the problems.
After I stopped complaining, fellow practitioners started to contact me. They often came to see me at my workplace. One of them complained about her family members to me. I calmly pointed out her own problem. She was surprised, because my attitude was so peaceful, which made her comfortable, too. Another practitioner, who had told me explicitly not to visit her, invited me to her home. Before I made the decision whether to go or not, she invited me again.
Just like that, I passed the test and came back to the one-body of practitioners.
Cultivating When Making Dafa Books
When Master published Hong Yin IV, every practitioner wanted a copy. They asked me to help, but it had been a long time since I'd made any books. I had no tools, but I started printing right way. At the same time, I shopped for the other items I needed. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten what models I needed. Other practitioners were not able to help. I was anxious. Days went by, but I didn't finish even one copy.
The tools I bought arrived, but there were problems with them, so I had to return them. The book cover material arrived, too. A fellow practitioner complained because it was too thin. Another practitioner blamed me for not being careful when I made the order.
No matter how they complained, I kept my mouth shut, because I knew that my forbearance had reached the limit. I would explode if I started to talk. The practitioners laughed at me: “She has never been so quiet.”
After they left, my heart started to boil. “Why don't you try to do this? I have endured so much, yet you guys still blame me. Why don't you try it?” I knew that my thoughts were off the Fa, and I kept reminding myself not to think that way. But I could not control my thoughts.
I tried to read the Fa, but I could not calm down, so I started to do the fifth exercise. At the end of the meditation, I was able to calm down. I then started to read the Fa. In the middle of the night, I sent forth righteous thoughts. I was able to focus and had strong righteous thoughts.
That night, I had a dream in which I saw numerous white worms coming out of my belly. I swept them off. I knew that Master was cleaning the bad things out of my body.
The next day, I asked myself why I thought I would have exploded the day before if I'd started talking? What would I have said to them? All of sudden, I realized that what I would have done was argue and validate myself. I realized that I had a strong attachment to validating myself. It was this attachment that would have made me explode. If I didn't want to validate myself, then the others' complaints would not have mattered at all.
At the moment, I had a better understanding of Master's teaching that nothing is a coincidence. The material I'd ordered for the book covers was just fine. The type that the other practitioner wanted to buy was too thick. But through this incident, I improved my xinxing.
Since then, whenever I ran into conflicts, I would remind myself that nothing is coincidental and that I need to look inward.
Truly Considering Others and Offering Salvation to Police Officers
In 2012, I was arrested. A policeman tried to touch my hand when I was restrained in a chair. I suddenly realized that it happened because I had lust in my heart. But even though I had flaws, I knew I should not allow another life to sin against a practitioner.
I asked him calmly, “Do you know what kind of sin is the worst?” He said he didn't know. “It is the sin of lust.”
He knew that I was referring to him. I then gave him some examples of punishments for such a sin. I told him about the trend to quit the Party and what Falun Gong really is. He quietly and patiently listened to me.
He then told me that many practitioners had told him to quit his job. “But it was really difficult to get this position,” he said, “If I quit, what else can I do?”
I said, “You don't have quit. You can be a good person, no matter what your job is. In your position, one can commit sins but can also do good deeds. For example, when you hear from your supervisor that they will arrest a Falun Gong practitioner, you can warn that person beforehand. Even if you don't have a chance to alarm him or her, you do not have to follow the order rigorously.”
He smiled and said, “I see.” Then he said, “Sister, I want to quit the Party.”
“I am so happy for you. Even the gods are happy for you.”
On the third night, that officer had to leave. He came to me and said, “Sister, I cannot do much for you. Please take care. Tomorrow, you will have to face the guy who treats all Falun Gong practitioners harshly. You take care.”
Later, a young policewoman was assigned to watch me. She had some pre-determined relationship with me. Every time I talked to her, she quietly listened and gave serious thought to my words. She always agreed with me, but she never agreed to quit the Party.
On the last day of her duty, I was sad because I knew I might not see her again, but she was not saved yet.
I was thinking, “It is a big pity if I cannot save you.” With my last shred of hope, I said to her, “Quit the Party. Please?”
She kept silent for a minute and then nodded.
I didn't know what made her change her mind.
She asked me, “Do you know why I agree to quit?” I shook my head.
“I can really tell that you are genuinely considering me, and you are telling me for my own good.”
Finally, let me thank Master again for his protection. Thank you, Master.