Looking Within Is Part of Cultivation
(Minghui.org) It wasn't until recently that I realized that true cultivation is to look within and cultivate oneself.
Changing Human Thoughts
I used to be unhappy about many things, especially when it came to the rapport between my husband and me. I found faults in everything that he did and said. I looked down on him, and thought that he was selfish and didn't care about me. He always used a reprimanding tone whenever he spoke to me.
I thought: You're lucky that I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, otherwise I would have filed for divorce!”
There were times when I asked myself: What have I done wrong?
Teacher, the founder of Falun Dafa, said,
“Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely with your human side. Evil demons then capitalize on this point and inflict endless interference and damage, leaving students in long-term tribulations.” (“Expounding on the Fa” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
These words struck a chord with me. Why would I want to change others but not myself? I should have treated my husband with compassion and understanding.
I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the bad notions that interfered with me, and began to pay attention to my conduct.
I stopped being critical of my husband and tried to be more considerate. I didn't know what our predestined relationship was that brought us together, but the fact that we are husband and wife was already a good reason for me to save him and not let him create karma.
Perhaps he could sense my changes, as he became kind and caring after some time.
Attachment to Jealousy
An elderly practitioner in my Fa study group studied the Fa very diligently and did the three things that a practitioner should do, but she always spoke in a sarcastic tone. She looked down on others, and no one dared to point out her shortcomings.
She always bragged about how well her husband treated her. He let her spend money at will, bought clothes for her all year round, and would not allow her to do heavy and hard chores.
Each time she mentioned these things, I thought she had the attachment to happiness and seeking comfort.
One day, she bragged about how worried her husband was when she had sickness karma. He held her hand tightly as if she would slip away. He said that he would not know how to live without her.
I looked down on her, and didn't know why she repeatedly said these things to me when we studied the Fa.
What attachment did I have?
When I looked within, I realized that I was jealous.
“...if someone is doing well, instead of feeling happy for him or her, people’s minds will feel uneasy.”
“There is this rule: If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit—absolutely not.” (Zhuan Falun)
I sent righteous thought to eliminate the attachment of jealousy.
I needed to look at practitioners' strengths. This elderly practitioner was illiterate before she became a practitioner, and she must have endured a lot to learn to read the Fa. She also attended group Fa study regularly and kept up with the three things.
Her shortcomings were supposed to be a mirror for me to see myself. It was because I had similar problems that these words were said to me, and I must learn from them.
Measuring Every Thought Against the Fa
A practitioner's every thought needs to be measured against the Fa.
I felt dizzy as I was preparing breakfast one morning. The moment I opened my eyes everything was spinning, so I kept my eyes closed and tried to feel my way around.
I said to myself: I deny all arrangements made by the old forces and accept only things arranged by my Teacher.
Then I started to vomit. I rested my head on the counter, and firmly believed that everything was just an illusion. Soon the vomiting stopped.
I sent righteous thoughts continuously, and began to feel better after about 20 minutes. Everything was back to normal after about an hour.
The sickness karma's appearance was clearly an opportunity for me to look within and improve in my cultivation. I must let go of the attachments that I saw in myself, including looking down on people and jealousy. I cannot leave any loopholes for the old forces to take advantage of.