My Depression Is Totally Gone
(Minghui.org) I am a 59-year-old retiree. I have loved dancing and singing since I was very young, and I am self-taught. I have performed on stage for many years. The local recreational coordinator in my county appointed me as a dance instructor. I led a dance group on the county square every morning. I even had my own dance troupe and we went to many places to perform. Our troupe was quite famous in our county and everyone loved us.
In April of this year I suddenly lost my motivation to do any dancing. I became very weak and was too frail to even wash myself. I wasn't interested in anything. Eating became a chore; I didn't want to do anything. At the time my reaction was, “That's it. I'm depressed. What can I do?” I was very scared. I didn't even want to live. I wanted to jump off a building. My whole body had aches and pains. I was really hoping someone would pick me up and throw me down.
I began self-harming. I beat myself up with my full force, thinking that making myself bruised everywhere would make me feel a bit better. This lasted more than a month. I didn't dare to say anything to my family for fear they would worry. I told a friend about this abnormal state and asked her to take me to a doctor (10 years ago she had been sick like this and knew where to get help). She eagerly accompanied me to see a doctor the next day.
I described my symptoms to the doctor. He said my case was typical depression and prescribed some medicine. I was so happy. I thought to myself, “Alright, I'm saved!” I got home and took the medicine at the right times. It was effective for the first two days but then it had no effect. I consoled myself, “It takes time to cure an illness. I'll be alright eventually.”
I was still quite ill when the medicine was about to run out. I became really scared. I remembered two of my colleagues who had similar symptoms. The female colleague became mentally ill, and the male colleague eventually ended up in an almost vegetative state. For nine years, he had to rely on his wife to take care of him. Wouldn't I be like them if I continued in my current state? No, it absolutely couldn't be this way. Medicine couldn't save me. I had to save myself.
I clearly remember on the afternoon of June 22 I suddenly recalled Falun Gong (also known as Falun Dafa). My sister had often mentioned it to me. She has practiced Falun Gong for many years and often suggested that I practice it too. But I refused and even got annoyed with her. But on that particular day, I wanted to practice Falun Gong. I knew that the next day was Friday, and my sister would come home to visit our mother and would stay for two days. I could learn the practice from her.
On Saturday June 24, I told my sister about my situation. Immediately she said, “Only my Teacher and Falun Gong can save you.” I was excited. That night, I began listening to Teacher Li Hongzhi's audio lectures and practiced the sitting meditation. When I got up the next day, I felt energetic and my body felt good. It gave me confidence.
I then read many Minghui Weekly issues. The cultivation experiences of Dafa disciples from all over the country excited me and some stories moved me to tears. I thus learned and grasped the principles of the five sets of exercises quickly.
From that day on, I got up at 3:30 a.m. to do the exercises. During the day, I continued listening to Teacher's lectures and practicing the sitting meditation (I can only cross one leg right now.) I felt better each day.
It was only about 10 days or so into practicing that I discovered that my depression was totally gone. I was so happy. I really wanted to run out onto the street and shout, “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!”
Zhuan Falun, the main teachings of Falun Gong, is such a wonderful book. I read it over and over and never get bored. The book teaches me how to improve my mind nature, to be kind, and to be a good person. Only then can a person improve and become healthy. If everyone practiced Falun Gong the world would be so wonderful.
Every day as long as I am awake, no matter what I do, I recite “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I feel that these nine words have been engraved in my bones. Although I am quite new in the practice, I am confident that I will diligently continue the meditation and make every effort to improve my character. I want to be a good person and a qualified Dafa disciple.
Now when I walk on the street, when I see physically challenged people sitting in wheelchairs, I really want to go tell them, “Go learn Falun Gong!”
This is the first time I have submitted an article for publication. I wanted to tell everyone about my experience.
Being able to connect with Falun Gong is the most fortunate thing in my life!