Improving by Studying the Fa with a Sincere Heart
(Minghui.org) During my recent Fa study, I noticed my copy of Zhuan Falun felt much heavier than usual. Even when I rested it on top of my legs, my left arm was soon uncomfortable. Then my right arm felt odd. I found this strange, but didn't really take it seriously until some time later.
I had a dream in which I saw Master putting a badge on me, but it was falling apart. The words “Dafa Disciple” fell from the badge. I woke up startled and only then realized that my problem was serious. Master was hinting to me. I began to send righteous thoughts, but nothing improved. My arms felt heavier and heavier, and two weeks later, I had difficulty doing the exercises.
I started to study the Fa with a sincere heart.
“In genuine cultivation practice one must cultivate one’s own heart and inner self. One should search inside oneself rather than outside.” (Zhuan Falun)
I looked within for anything I had done wrong during the previous several months. I thought I had been diligent in my cultivation. With supplies I purchased, I made truth-clarification materials at night and distributed them during the day. In person, I told people about Dafa and the persecution and persuaded them to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I also provided materials for several other practitioners. My actions were in line with the Fa. I even thought I had done better than some other practitioners.
My above thoughts were bringing me trouble, but I did not yet realize it. I just knew that I must have problems because Master had hinted to me in a dream.
I calmed down to study the Fa. I had trouble staying focused and found myself dozing off. I realized how serious my problem was. I needed to break through it.
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I knew that only the Fa could break through my attachments.
I sat in the lotus position and read the Fa aloud, word by word. The sound of my voice startled me. It was the voice of a person I disliked. I knew this was the result of my attachments. While reading Lecture Two, my voice became dry and hoarse. My human heart was interfering, telling me to stop. However, I was not an everyday person, I did not let myself be tricked. Thus, my voice cleared up during Lecture Three. I continued reading until I finished Lecture Four.
The Fa had opened up my wisdom. I saw layers and layers of Fa principles. I found the reason for my physical discomfort:
A practitioner saw a lump under my neck six months prior. I told her that I used to have a condition known as “thick neck” before I started to practice Falun Dafa. I don't know why I said that because I actually never had such a condition, but because I said it, the lump stayed.
Making matters worse, I read an article that explained how a cooked apple can cure thick neck. I followed the directions and ate the cooked apple. I treated it as a disease, and the apple as medicine. My understanding is that my unrighteous thoughts were causing the discomfort in my arms.
“One day he connected a lie detector to a plant and wondered: "What kind of experiment should I do? Let me burn its leaves with fire and see how it reacts." With this thought—even before the leaves were burned—the electronic pen quickly drew a curve the same as that created only when someone cries for help. This super sensory function was in the past called mind reading; it is a latent human function and an innate ability.” (Zhuan Falun)
A plant sensed a person's thought and reacted. A practitioner's thoughts be sensed by plant or other entities. When I regarded the karma or interference as illness, the karma heard my thoughts and became my illness. It was not a true illness, but a means for me to improve. Yet I missed the opportunity Master had arranged for me. The illness was transformed by my thought. When I realized this, my mind became clearer and my eyes became brighter. I knew my body was going through some purification.
Through Fa study I found I had other attachments: showing off, an inflated sense of self, complacency, validating myself, going to extremes and being attached to doing things. I regarded studying the Fa and doing exercises as my job. I finished the job every day, but my mind was not in the Fa. I could not see the inner meaning of the Fa. My xinxing then dropped to an everyday person's level. Of course everyday people have illnesses. So, I had physical discomfort and interference.
“Once you are moved by it, you might be interfered with and your gong will be messed up—it is usually this way.” (Zhuan Falun)
If I want to stay unmoved by human sentiment, I need to study the Fa more and study the Fa wholeheartedly. I have to let go of my attachments in cultivation.
When I study the Fa, I like to sit in the lotus position and hold my Dafa book. I no longer feel the book is heavy. My arms are back to normal. Dafa books have profound and immense meaning and guide us in cultivation. I will follow Master and return to my original home. Thank you, Master!
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