Resolving Conflicts with Family Members
(Minghui.org) I started to practice Falun Dafa in the spring of 1996. My husband, a construction manager, died in a work-related accident in 2006.
I was in my 30s when my husband passed away and had only several hundred yuan saved up. My daughters were 12 and 5 years old.
My husband’s younger brother and elder sister broke into my husband’s office and took away all of his accounting books, claiming that I would remarry because I was so young and pretty and didn’t have a son. They claimed that my house would belong to his sister, and they also made an agreement with my husband’s employer not to give me a penny.
A lawyer explained that I would not win a lawsuit against my husband’s family since they had taken all the documents. My husband's family tried to drive me away so they could take over the property and my money. All my relatives and friends stayed away from me to avoid having to lend me money or help me out.
The sudden change in attitude of my husband’s family members made me realize that worldly emotions are unreliable. Everyone was wonderful to me while my husband was alive because they received a lot of benefits and money from my family.
Master said: “Abundant troubles rain down together, All to see: Can you pull through?” (“Tempering the Will” from Hong Yin)
Falun Dafa Eliminated My Bitterness
Falun Dafa had taken hold in my heart because I knew that it could help me eliminate my bitterness. Also, I knew that nothing happens by chance to a practitioner.
I decided not to think about anything except practicing Falun Dafa. I then diligently studied and memorized the teachings. I wanted to be completely immersed in it. It was instrumental in my calming down!
Encouraged by my fellow practitioners, I joined the Falun Dafa study group. I also handed out Dafa brochures, talked with people about the persecution, and ran a Dafa material production site in my home.
When going through my husband’s remaining properties, I found an outstanding invoice for work that had been performed on his project worth several hundred thousand yuan. I knew that this was arranged by Master. The contractor agreed to pay the money over the next few years, allowing me to focus on doing Dafa projects and personal cultivation.
Dealing with Life
My body and mind kept changing when I was melding into the Fa. I gradually let go of my sorrow for my husband. I also no longer felt hatred towards his family because of the properties they had taken from me.
But, I was facing financial problems, so I accepted work as a housekeeper, a cook making steamed buns for a supermarket, and other jobs. However, I never slacked off on doing my Falun Dafa practice.
With Master Li’s (the founder) protection and my fellow practitioners’ help, the informational materials production site in my home continued to operate for 10 years.
I produced over 10,000 DVDs each year; printed out the Minghui Weekly for other practitioners; made truth-clarification phone calls; cooperated with other practitioners to do other Dafa projects, and started a group study site in my home.
Letting Go of Resentment and Hatred
Studying Falun Dafa helped me to gradually understand the predestined relationship between my husband’s family members and me.
“In cultivation practice, there may be two scenarios when dealing with specific conflicts or when others treat you badly. One is that you might have treated this person badly in your previous life. You feel in your heart that it is unfair, "How can this person treat me like this?" Then why did you treat this person that way in the past? You might claim that you actually did not know it at that time, and this life has nothing to do with the other life. That does not work. There is another issue. In conflicts, the issue of transforming karma is involved. Therefore, in dealing with specific conflicts we should be forgiving instead of acting like ordinary people.” (Zhuan Falun)
Whenever I felt hatred, I told myself that I am a Dafa practitioner. Therefore, I should not behave like everyday people. Slowly, I let go of my hatred. Sometimes I thought that without the hard times brought about by my husband’s family, I would not have dealt with my situation as a Dafa practitioner.
“Can a god treat human beings as his enemies? A human being who is transcending everyday people cannot treat them as his enemies. So, I tell you that you cannot Consummate if you do not love your enemies.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Canada)
“Instead of being angry with him, you should thank him in your heart and thank him sincerely.” (Zhuan Falun)
My moral character improved when letting go of my hatred towards my husband’s family. I treated them well and brought gifts whenever I visited them. My daughters also visited their grandparents when they were on holidays.
As my compassion arose, my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and my husband's siblings also changed. They reversed some of the actions they had taken against me and even my fellow practitioners were shocked about the changes in my husband’s family.
My sister-in-law also quit the communist party’s youth organizations after a fellow practitioner talked to her. My brother-in-law gradually developed a positive attitude towards Dafa as well.
My sister-in-law looked at me with admiration and said: “You have changed a lot. Many mistakes happened between us.”
I told her that it was because I practiced Dafa which requires practitioners to treat others well during times of conflicts. Practitioners should always first look within!