The Party Culture and Human Notions Have Blocked Me from Being Diligent
(Minghui.org) I have been cultivating in Falun Dafa, an ancient mind and body exercise focusing on improving one's xinxing, for over 20 years. I was in China and stayed firm in cultivation when the Communist regime banned it and persecuted practitioners. Later I came abroad and worked on projects to help people understand Falun Dafa and to stop the persecution in China.
I was very diligent under the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP's) pressure in China. I could feel that I was improving. Then somehow my cultivation lost steam while I have been overseas, though I could freely exercise and even listen in person to Master's lecture at conferences.
I couldn't figure out why until recently, when a fellow practitioner talked to me.
She asked me how I felt about my cultivation and she started pointing out my gaps. To my surprise, everything she said was right! I felt as if Master was telling me something through her mouth.
She helped me realize that I still had many human notions and the CCP's party culture.
Party Culture – Not Being Completely Benevolent to Practitioners
I could be very nice to non-practitioners, as I didn't hold them to the standard for a cultivator, but I was tough—sometimes even mean—to practitioners. Whenever I would see their mistakes, I would complain in my heart. I looked down upon them. I even tended to order them around on project work.
As for the practitioner who had talked to me, I used to only see her shortcomings. After our conversation, I started to see that she had many positive points.
Party Culture – Finding Excuses to Blame Others
“Because of your not doing well enough,” that practitioner said, “you project is having problems.”
“It's not just because of me,” I said. “There are practitioners in charge of the project above me. There are also other practitioners working on the project.” I defended myself.
“Please don't defend yourself. It is because of you,” she said with a benevolent, but firm tone. I then realized that it was indeed my problem.
Diligent practitioners would think that all other practitioners have done their best, all I needed to do is do my best to cover whatever the gaps remained. What I was thinking about was how others didn't do their jobs well.
Party Culture – Making Do with Low Quality Work
I tended to complete things quickly at the expense of quality. Sometimes I just made do with things to claim that I finished. This made us not achieve the best quality we could have.
Seeking Comfort as Time Passes by
“Do you feel that as long as you are working on some project related to Falun Dafa, you are doing well in cultivation? Do you have a strong desire to save sentient beings?” That practitioner asked me.
I was shocked! She was right. I just followed a routine path these days: studying the Fa, doing the exercises, and doing a Dafa project. Is that really being diligent in cultivation? Is my every thought and every action on the Fa?
I got used to the routine life and started to pursue comfort. I no longer felt an urgency to save people.
Another practitioner at our place was the opposite of me. She was the janitor and busy all the time. She didn't speak English but, every once in a while, she brought back a pile of people's signatures requesting the CCP to stop organ harvesting. When did she find time to do that? The time before coming to work and after finishing work, as well as the day she was off duty. Her unselfishness made her do that!
Focusing on Everyday People's Skills
Having worked for a long time in an everyday people's work environment, I had a notion about how well something is accomplished. I thought it depended on the executor's organizing capability and technical skills. This might be true for non-practitioners, but definitely not true in cultivation.
This notion blocked my thinking. I felt that because I didn't know this and didn't know that, I couldn't do something well.
I didn't realize that cultivation is the most important. Once our cultivation status improves, the power of the Fa will manifest and the task will be completed well.
Through the conversation and reflection, I realized that true cultivation is to unconditionally assimilate myself to Dafa and do things without the heart of pursuit. When we improve ourselves and change ourselves, we can achieve success on our projects.
As Master said, “...what you do then, with a pure heart, will be the best and most sacred.” (“Further Understanding,” Essentials for Further Advancement)