Thoughts on Loneliness and Related Attachments

(Minghui.org) Master told us that the greatest hardship in cultivation is loneliness.

Master said:

“What do people fear most of all? Loneliness. Loneliness can drive a person crazy; loneliness can lead a person to forget everything from before; and loneliness can even cause one to forget how to speak. It is the most terrible form of hardship.” (“What is a Dafa disciple”)

“Unendurable loneliness is most dangerous to humans, and it’s also the greatest tribulation in practicing cultivation.” (“Lecture at the First Conference in North America”)

“When I teach the Fa infrequently though, what worries me most is not the hardships or ordeals you face, which you know to be plenty hard. They are not the hardest thing; after all, however trying hardship may be, it's over after you get through it, and at that point things are clear to you. Rather, to quietly cultivate in bleak loneliness, unable to see hope, is the hardest of all.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference”)

Over the years of cultivation, I have often spent a lot of time by myself. I've experienced both the hardship and the joy of solitude. The joy of solitude grew gradually with the abandonment of human attachments. I would like to share my understanding from the Fa of why some of us fear loneliness.

Master said:

“The Daoist religion was in fact born of ordinary human beings’ attachments. People are fond of banding together and forming some kind of power base, as they crave recognition and personal gain.” (Zhuan Falun Volume II)

So, in my understanding, “craving recognition”, “personal gain” and “forming some kind of power base” is what makes people fear and try to avoid loneliness.

While most practitioners I know enjoy socializing with other practitioners during events, I often find it burdensome. I think what makes me uncomfortable is the sense I get of practitioners unconsciously having an attachment of “seeking recognition.” They seem to interact with a lot of emotion and a wish to be noticed and acknowledged. Because I see this and am bothered by it, I know I must reflect on my own attachments to “seeking recognition” as well.

Master told us that the root cause of all attachments is qing:

“But Buddhism didn’t talk about what is at the root of attachments. Here we have spelled it out for you: They result from the existence of qing. So, of course, if a person wants to achieve True Attainment Status in his cultivation, he basically needs to get rid of this qing.” (“Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Guangzhou”)

Those two things–“seeking recognition” and attachment to qing–are what often drive practitioners to meet up, interact, and want to spend time together outside of cultivation.

Master said:

“And then there are others who lead a group and they all have a ball together, in which case, are you mistaking this for a social club? That’s human attachments at work.” (“Fa Teaching on World Falun Dafa Day (Questions & Answers”)

Of course, practitioners cultivate at different levels. Many times, when I felt lonely, I would ask myself, “Am I craving recognition?” Deep inside, I would always see this attachment. There is something inside of me that wants to be acknowledged and noticed. When I recognize this attachment, I try to let it go, and the dissatisfaction and fear of loneliness diminish with it.

Even when doing cultivation activities together, we should watch for this attachment. When sharing experiences and understandings from the Fa, in my understanding, it is crucial that we ask ourselves, “Am I sharing this because I feel that this understanding can be helpful to others?” or is it because I seek ordinary human support from practitioners, want to feel part of a group (forming a power base), crave recognition, and am attached to qing, including friendship and doing things for friendship?

In my understanding, even a simple “Hello” and “How are you doing?” can hide this attachment of “seeking recognition.” This attachment makes people want to be somebody, want to be acknowledged and noticed, but in a sly way it conceals itself by instead inquiring about others. So, instead of saying, “Please notice me,” we say, “Hey, how are you? How are things with you?” It is a very subtle thing to detect in oneself.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with greeting people and even asking them about their well being, but, as practitioners, we should strive to look deeper and see if there is any attachment on our part that is hiding behind those simple words. Maybe it is curiosity. Maybe it is being meddlesome. Maybe it is seeking recognition or an attachment to emotion. Wanting to talk about oneself is also tied to the same attachment of seeking recognition. Those who often give speeches or enjoy talking a lot should look within to see if they have this attachment.

My advice to practitioners who are going through a test of loneliness is neither to fear it nor try to run away from it. Solitude can lead to great heights if viewed and approached correctly. As ego diminishes and the true self emerges, we become quieter and more content.

This is my personal understanding at this level. Please point out anything not on the Fa.