Key to Resolving Conflicts: Looking Inward
(Minghui.org) An elderly Falun Dafa practitioner and I were always at odds. She reproached me publicly, which was quite frustrating. Another practitioner pointed out that every conflict occurs for a reason; otherwise, it would not happen. She suggested that I look inward and find my hidden attachments.
After I found and eliminated the human notions, my conflict with this practitioner disappeared. Our personal relationship also improved significantly.
Resentment Results in Conflict
I learned advanced computer skills from a practitioner, who suggested that I borrow his computer containing all the technical information. But the elderly practitioner, who had the computer at the time, refused to turn it over.
Without the computer, I could not practice my skills, and thus I forgot what I had learned. I became resentful. Intensive Fa study helped me in gradually letting go of the resentment.
My resentment came back after another practitioner asked me to use the techniques I had learned on a project. This resentment grew stronger when I learned that the project almost failed because I did not do well. I was mad and blamed this elderly practitioner for the failure. We began to argue with each other.
She tried to explain her reasons, but I continued to argue. Neither of us felt any compassion for each other, and I avoided even looking at her. The conflict got worse, and it affected our group Fa study.
Master's Fa opened my eyes:
“Whenever you encounter problems you should each look inward to search for the cause within, regardless of whether you’re to blame or not. Remember my words: Regardless of whether the problem is your fault or not, you should look inside yourself, and you will find a problem. If the matter has absolutely nothing to do with you or doesn’t involve any of the attachments you should break, then that thing would rarely happen to you. If you didn’t have an attachment the problem wouldn’t have come about. (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Europe)
Enlightened by Master's Fa, I looked inward and let go of my attachment–the attachment of dependence.
The Fa Breaks All Attachments
I did not try to find an alternative when this elderly practitioner refused to turn over the computer. This human notion of looking outward does not meet the principles of “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.”
I was not considerate and thought only of myself. I failed to see her strengths. I soon eliminated this attachment.
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Looking inward, I found that I had failed to cultivate speech. Speaking against another person behind their back is not something that a Dafa practitioner should do.
The consequence of not cultivating speech is severe, because it can expand the gap among practitioners and hinder our mission of saving sentient beings.
To help me cultivate, I asked fellow practitioners to stop me when I said something not related to cultivation.
Over time, my resentment went away, and I thanked this elderly practitioner for giving me this opportunity to improve myself.