(Minghui.org) I had not watched television for a long time. Then, by chance I watched a popular speed dating program. I watched it continuously, for almost two-and-a-half hours. I started to feel numbness in my eyes and some nausea. Finally, I turned it off. However, I was still thinking about the program and could not settle down.
I felt nauseated the whole day and could not calm down to study the Fa. I looked within and noticed it was my attachment of sentimentality. I looked within further and realized that I was pursuing a good life.
That night, I had a dream that some warped young people were chasing me, and I was in danger. Finally, I struggled to escape and tried to hide in a cave. A gigantic demon wearing a helmet and armor was there. It did not let me go, and I felt smothered. I cried out, asking Master for help; then it disappeared. When I woke up, I realized that I was interfered with and that I had invited the demon to come.
The next day I listened to the audio of the 12th Annual Mainland Online Experience Sharing Conference. One sharing was about a practitioner who did well in all aspects, but she always had health issues. She had pain and could hardly tolerate it. She was puzzled since it happened again and again. She asked Master, why did she experience this although she is a genuine practitioner. What is wrong? It was from Master's hint that she then recalled her main attachment, which was to pursue a good life. That is, she wanted to use Dafa to achieve a good life. When she realized this, her pain almost completely went away.
Hearing this practitioner's experience, I suddenly understood that I have a similar attachment. I have been persecuted in the past years, and I was unhappy. I had resentment towards my husband and felt that he had slacked off. I also hoped that my son would have a good future. I realized that my attachment was that I want them to be good to satisfy my need.
I have different attachments – such as fear of loss, fear of losing face, and so on. These attachments were on the surface. However, it was as if I just trimmed the branches. So even though one trims it, the root is still there, and it still grows. The root attachment is that I want to pursue a good life in human society.
Master said,
“What’s a fundamental attachment, then? Human beings acquire many notions in this world and are, as a consequence, driven by these notions to pursue what they yearn for. But when a person comes to this world, it is karmic arrangements that determine his course of life and what will be gained and lost in it. How could a person’s notions determine each stage of his life? So those so-called "beautiful dreams and wishes" become pursuits that can never be realized, despite painful attachments.” (“Towards Consummation” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I used to often hear that other practitioners were very energetic, while I always felt very tired and I came across a lot of interference. Looking back, those tribulations were all related to my attachment to securing a good life. And the old forces took advantage of it.
Now I am happy and calm. I am thankful for the sharing, which helped me find my main attachment. I am no longer afraid of tribulations.
A fellow practitioner came to visit me today, and I realized that Master was using her mouth to help me see my attachments of being lazy, suspicious, having negative thoughts, and so on. All these need to be rectified. I should assimilate to Dafa, and the sentient beings in my world will benefit.
Category: Improving Oneself
