Looking Within and Discarding the Attachment of Wanting to Change Others

(Minghui.org) Master said,

"When they're helping me, at the same time they hide their selfish intention of protecting themselves. They all want to change others but not themselves--no one wants to change himself--and they even try to preserve as much as possible the things they're attached to and won't let go of. " (Touring North America to Teach the Fa)

Failing to Look Within Compromises Our Efforts to Offer Salvation to Others

Lihua and I worked together producing materials that clarify the truth to people about Falun Gong and the persecution. My piece of the production was to copy the materials, while Lihua arranged the page order.

Lihua was fast at arranging the pages, but she often put them in the wrong order. Each time I saw that she made a mistake, I told her about it.

Over time, she got annoyed and said, “Each time I make a mistake you catch it; why do you always watch me.”

I told her, "Master arranged for me to find the mistakes so materials with an incorrect page order would not be distributed to people. That would compromise the impact of our efforts.”

I thought I was being very reasonable at the time but really did not look inside. Lihua then started ignoring me, and I started blaming her.

The coordinating practitioner saw that both of us did not look within for the reason for our dispute; we continued accusing the other, so she then decided to separate us.

When we met again a year later, we both regretted that we did not look inside for our shortcomings and missed the opportunity to improve our xinxing. We exchanged our thoughts and apologized to each other. And we both came to understand that not looking within compromised our truth clarification efforts.

I Was Attached to Changing Others Instead of Cultivating Myself

Master said,

“Cultivation is about looking inside yourself. Whether you are right or wrong, you should examine yourself. Cultivation is about getting rid of human attachments. If you always reject reproaches and criticism, always point your fingers at others, and always refute others' disapproval and criticism, is that cultivating? How is that cultivating? You have grown used to focusing on other people's shortcomings, and never take examining your own self seriously. When others' cultivation one day meets with success, what about you? Isn't Master hoping that you are cultivating well? Why won't you accept criticism, and why do you keep focusing on other people? Why not cultivate inward and examine your own self? Why do you get agitated when you are criticized? How many of you seated here can keep at ease when someone points at you out of the blue and berates you? How many of you can stay unruffled and search for the reason on your part when faced with others' criticism and chiding?” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”)

Previously, I had not used a computer and had no interest in learning to use one. However, another practitioner suggested that these skills were important and that, in the future, material centers would be everywhere, and that we would need many practitioners to support them.

I then started learning computer skills such as accessing the internet, downloading, editing, and printing. I also taught other practitioners to do the same. In the process, I experienced a lot of xinxing conflicts and tests.

Lan and I once took a train all day to a remote area to teach another practitioner, Ming, how to use a computer.

I told Ming, “You should take notes, so when you forget what to do, you can reference them.”

However, he said he did not need to take notes, and that he could remember what we do after seeing it. I then taught him some simple computer operations.

The next morning, I asked him if he could operate the computer, and he told me he had forgotten what to do.

I felt upset: "I told you to take notes, but you did not want to, thinking that you are smart. Now, before we leave, you have already forgotten what to do. After we go home, we cannot come back right away if you have any questions. We are not only serving you!”

Lan reminded me of my attitude. I realized that I was anxious, controlling, and not communicating with Ming with well-intentioned thinking. I had taken this as a simple teaching task and wanted to teach him quickly so I could go home earlier. I did not keep in mind that teaching other practitioners to make materials is also to save lives and is a process of cultivating myself.

I calmed my mind and found my selfishness. I also recognized Ming’s good intention of wanting to help save lives. There was no materials center in his area, and he wanted to take on the responsibility to provide materials to other practitioners.

So I decided it was for this reason that I wanted to teach him to use the computer. I apologized, and he then took out a notebook and pen. We started again, and in three days, he was able to print copies of the Minghui Weekly.

The next time I visited, we read the Fa together and shared experiences about editing and formatting, and how to make the materials better. Soon, he was able to edit booklets and produce the Nine Commentaries booklets. He also learned how to maintain and repair the equipment.

Ming was thankful that Master arranged an opportunity for us to improve ourselves.

Master said,

"As I mentioned before, when you speak to others with your own goals in mind, wanting to change or persuade them, no matter how reasonable your words are, other people will have a hard time completely accepting them. Nor can the words move people’s hearts. Why? Let me tell you: It’s actually because the words you say contain all of your thoughts." (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland)

Another time, I went to teach Mei to use a large paper cutter to trim the Nine Commentaries and other booklets. I explained to her how to line-up the paper and press the cutter several times.

It seemed I was very patiently teaching her. As a matter of fact, I was worried and tried to make Mei do it exactly as I did. At that moment, I did not see my attachment.

The coordinating practitioner who accompanied me said sternly, “Don’t think that you can do everything and others are not as good as you are. Everyone can do the job. You don’t need to act so worldly.”

I felt somewhat embarrassed and disturbed, thinking that he shouldn’t speak to me that way.

I explained, “I just wanted to help her to take fewer detours.”

I then looked inside for the reason after I returned home. I found that I had the mentality of having other practitioners do it my way, and realized that I was trying to change her. I felt ashamed! I should really thank the coordinating practitioner. I would not have seen my attachments if he did not speak up.

Look Within Upon Encountering Conflicts

I will pay more attention to looking inside when I encounter conflicts and discard my mentality of wanting to change others.

We should all treasure the moments we practitioners have together. If we miss such opportunities, we can never get them back. Regardless of what conflicts occur, we must look inside for the reason.

Dafa has given us everything, and our revered Master is always looking after us. We must cherish this predestined opportunity to assist Master in Fa-rectification and to help save more lives.