(Minghui.org) I am a 69-year-old retired high school teacher, who started practicing Falun Dafa in 1995. I would like to share my experience of a tribulation that started in June 2014.
Hardships
I was struck with acute facial paralysis on June 6, 2014. While remaining calm, I sent forth righteous thoughts. I continued to join group practice and Fa study, and I produced and distributed truth-clarification materials.
Master said:
“Of course, each one of our Dafa disciples says that we don't recognize the old forces' arrangements, but that's not something you just say--you have to follow the requirements of Dafa and the Fa-rectification. ‘I absolutely will not acknowledge any of those things you arranged in the past, old forces. I don't even acknowledge you.’ When your righteous thoughts are very strong you can purge it and you can reject their arrangements. (Applause) And that's because we absolutely cannot acknowledge them.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference II)
Thinking of Master's words, I was full of courage and strong righteous thoughts. Other practitioners also supported and encouraged me to overcome the tribulation. However, more awaited me.
Two months later, I returned home from distributing Dafa DVDs and learned that my husband had been taken to a hospital by ambulance, due to a stroke. Facing a second problem, while still recovering from the facial paralysis, I didn't have fear. As Master said, “... with the master and the Fa here what is there to fear?” (Lecture in Sydney)
A full-time personal care assistant was hired to take care of my husband in the hospital. I said to my husband, “Don't worry. Dafa can save you. Just look at me: Isn't my face getting better and better?”
He was aware that I was not taking any medication, and he was convinced. He often said, “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” As a result, he was making significant progress.
His doctor suggested that I get treatment for my facial paralysis. I told him that I believed Dafa could cure me, without any medication. My face was totally normal after four months.
I explained the truth about Falun Dafa to the doctors, occupational therapist, practicum students, aides, and other patients. I also helped them withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations.
New Challenges During Husband's Recovery
After my husband was discharged from the hospital, I took care of him around the clock. As a stubborn believer in communism, he had collected many books related to communism and would not let anyone touch them. He decided to practice Falun Dafa, and he agreed to get rid of the communist books.
He did the exercises and studied the Fa with me for three months. Then, it was as if external thoughts were controlling him, and he stopped studying the Fa. He kept me awake at night, and I was mentally and physically exhausted.
Sometimes I can hear and see things in different dimensions. Once a voice said to me, "Taking care of a sick person is your cultivation path." I realized it was an evil entity in another dimension that wanted to pull me down and that I must find a way to break through the interference. I decided to hire a caregiver for my husband for 3,600 yuan a month.
That gave me time to study the Fa and continue my truth-clarification activities. Then I heard the voice say, “The caregiver disturbs my plan.” The entity kept interfering with the caregivers, which meant we had to change caregivers several times. I started to tell each new caregiver the truth about Falun Dafa. Then we were able to keep the same person.
As usual, I went to the business district to distribute truth-clarification materials on May 12, 2015. The owner of a shop asked me, “Where do these DVDs come from?” I answered, “We Dafa practitioners pay for and produce all the materials.” He shouted, “Falun Dafa protects you!” I was surprised, as that is not what people normally say. I think Master was encouraging me through this person's words. I was moved.
Mental Interference
The evil force kept interfering with me. I saw movie-like scenes of the after-life of me and my husband and heard the voice say, “You will die in a few days.” Words like, “You should die” came out from my husband's mouth. I almost believed that I did not have many days left to live.
Thus, I gave away many of my Dafa books, the printers, and new DVDs, which resulted in the impression that I had stopped practicing.
Regardless, I kept studying the Fa and going out to talk to people about the truth of Falun Gong.
Reading the section “Demonic Interference From One's Own Mind” in Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun reminded me that I was being deceived by the evil entity. But I fell back into self-criticism and self-doubt again. I saw scenes in which I was being dishonest and phony, and a voice told me that I was a phony.
However, I was healthy, and my life was in order. It was all illusions. I remembered Master told us that the side of practitioners that is cultivated gets separated from the uncultivated side, which was not subject to pretense. In the midst of this powerful mental interference, I recited the following lines to keep my heart unmoved:
“In life, nothing sought,In death, regretting naught;Washing away all wrong thought,Buddhahood, with lessadversity, is wrought.” (“Nothing Kept” inHong Yin)
and
“… no matter what you see, you should ignore it, for it is all a demonic illusion ...” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
The evil voice also said to me that it had tried to divert me to different religions for 13 years. This reminded me that I was attached to the ability of seeing and hearing things in other dimensions for that long, but now this attachment was about to destroy me.
Practitioners also pointed out to me that I sometimes behaved abnormally and was paranoid. I realized that it was due to a heart of fear.
In the end, Master’s words sustained me through the tribulation:
“'I'm Li Hongzhi's disciple, I don't want other arrangements or acknowledge them'--then they won't dare to do that.” (Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference)
The mental torture made me feel that imprisonment was an easier torment. One month later, it finally ended. It was the steadfast belief in the Fa and Master that saved me.
Renouncing Wrong Statements
This tribulation, however, made me realize an omission in my cultivation. When I previously sent a statement to the Minghui website to renounce my previous behavior against Dafa, I used vague wording and did not give enough detail. So I realized that I needed to write another statement and include the details; I wrote another solemn statement to renounce my prior disrespectful behavior and published it on the Minghui website.
Master said:
“As for those who've gone over to the opposite side during the persecution, they're not Dafa disciples anymore, but those who can come back, though, are a different matter.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference” in Teaching the Fa at the Conference V)
Through studying the Fa extensively, I was able to eliminate my fear of the interference and increase my confidence in cultivation: Master is still keeping an eye on me.
Category: Improving Oneself
