(Minghui.org) I became a practitioner four years ago. Recently, something Teacher said got me thinking:
“You are the hope for humankind. You must do well. You must take on your responsibility. You must go save sentient beings, so that you can consummate yourselves and this undertaking will not be in vain!” from (Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference)
I haven't been regularly studying the teachings and doing the exercises recently. My mind could not focus when I sent righteous thoughts. I slept eight hours or more a day and was terribly interfered by the attachment to lust.
All of these took a toll on my truth clarification work. People that I talked to have been showing indifference or even anger toward me.
The more I slacked off, the worse the interference got. I could barely find time to study and clarify the truth. My health went downhill too.
I began to complain in my mind, “How come when other practitioners clarify the truth, they meet people who knew the truth already? When I do it, nine out of ten people I talk to have no idea. It must be easier to clarify the truth in rural areas. People there are simple, unlike people in Shanghai where I live, whose thoughts are complicated. The people I work with regard themselves highly and don't believe a word I say.”
I was getting worried about my state of cultivation. I began to look within and many notions and attachments surfaced.
Every once in a while I would ask myself, “Why am I practicing?” From the beginning, there always seemed to be motivation for me to do the three things.
If I wasn’t motivated, then I would slack off, as if I was cultivating with pursuit. When I first learned Falun Dafa, curiosity drove me to know more about this new practice that I had never heard of.
Then I read on the Minghui website about the magnificent things that other practitioners had done. I envied them and wanted to be like them. Later I saw the beautiful Shen Yun performers and wanted to be like them. I began to do the exercises with practitioners every day. I wanted to be with them and didn't want to be left behind. All this motivated me to practice more.
Because I wasn’t diligent, my health worsened. I looked pale and often felt fatigued. Since I started practicing, I had small health issues when I was not diligent, but never anything severe.
I have always believed that my foundation was better than others. Now I understand that, because I was new, I didn't have a lot of time to save people. Teacher had shouldered a lot of illness karma for me so that I would have time to save people.
A few days ago I told myself that I must do the three things well. I didn't know what to do to fight my attachments and constant drowsiness. I decided to recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance is good” whenever I could—walking, eating, and or just standing around.
A few days later I felt strong energy coursing through me. When I focused, I could hear what I recited in my field and could see those words in front of my eyes.
I was able to clarify the truth to others whenever I got a chance. They would listen to me and some even quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
I am so grateful for Teacher's compassion. When I came across a lady and asked if she had quit the CCP, she told me that she already had done so, and that it was me who helped her. I knew that it was Teacher encouraging me.
A practitioner can save people only if he or she is truly compassionate. It has nothing to do with occupation, age, or gender. It is all about our thoughts.
“...Neither heaven nor earth canblock my road of Fa-rectificationBut disciples’ human hearts can.”(from “Troubles” in Hongyin III)
I want to tell new practitioners: please don't think it is the veteran practitioners' job to save people. It is ours as well!
