Returning to Falun Dafa after 20 Years Away
(Minghui.org) My parents introduced me to Falun Dafa when I was 12 years old. At that age, I did not understand what cultivation was truly about, although I believed what I read in Zhuan Falun. I studied the Fa, did the exercises every day with my parents, participated in group practice, and clarified the facts to people in a local square every weekend.
Lost in Worldly Affairs
I practiced Falun Dafa until 1999. When the persecution started, my parents went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Dafa. They were arrested and taken back to our hometown. My mother was sentenced to three years in prison, and my father was released after three months of detention. I stopped practicing at that time and did not study the Fa or do the exercises for close to 20 years.
Beginning in middle school, I was only interested in fame, profit, and emotions. However, when I was involved in a fight, or an act of deception, or tried to fit in in ordinary social circles, my heart was deeply troubled.
I later got married. After seven years, my husband asked for a divorce, only eight days after our child was born. I refused to sign the divorce agreement, so he and his mother beat me. She even bit my arm! Sadly, I went back to my parents’ home.
That was a heavy blow. I collapsed and lost all hope. But thanks to my parents and fellow practitioners, I began anew with my Fa study and doing the exercises.
“You see how treacherous ordinary society is,” said a fellow practitioner. “Let go of human attachments and cultivate again.”
“The principles here are reversed, and what people do and how they do them are backwards. What smells good to people here smells bad over there, and things that people here consider good may well be bad over there.”(“Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference”)
I awoke to the fact that what had happened to me was not by chance; rather, it was a hint that I needed to return to Dafa. Our compassionate Master had given me opportunities again and again, but I was too lost in worldly interests.
Master does not want any practitioner to be left behind. If there is even just a little hope, he will save us. If I did not return to cultivation, my opportunities to help save people would be lost!
Everything Falls Into Place
My husband insisted on sole custody of our child and an equal share of the property, which upset me very much. I thought that I would not agree to any of his divorce terms.
Despite Fa study, I did not give up my resentment. I believed Master would help resolve my predicament. I faced up to my husband and clarified the truth to him, which made him see that Dafa is good. When he saw how I had changed, he also changed. Eventually he gave up his demand for a share of the property and child custody, and also offered to pay 30% of his income for child support.
I realized that I attached too much importance to him. Although I studied the Fa a lot, my attitude was still not quite that of a cultivator's. If we had not been divorced, I would not have been able to handle the relationship well.
Then I was offered another job that required me to commute every day. However, that would affect my Fa study, and my parents would have to babysit. This was a tough decision! I needed this new job to pay for an apartment and would also have to buy a car. I could not calm down enough during Fa study or when doing the exercises.
“Just put your heart at rest and study the Fa for two days,” advised my parents. “As long as you can give up your attachments, Master will arrange everything.”
I tried to calm down and focus on Fa study. I found many of my attachments and knew that I had to let go of them. Master said, “Can you bring to heaven the things deep down inside that you cannot let go of?” (“True Cultivation” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
My current employer then offered me another job. The position was just what I had hoped for. I had time to study the Fa and to do the exercises, although the salary was less.
I started taking Dafa flyers with me and distributed them daily.
When I left a supermarket, I noticed two men sitting near my car. I handed flyers to both of them. One asked if I practiced Falun Dafa and wanted to know why. I talked to them at length about my cultivation experience.
They then asked me if I had more flyers so they could help distribute them. One of them was curious and asked if anyone could become a practitioner, and, if so, he wanted to learn cultivation practice, too.
“It all depends on whether the person is serious and commits to cultivating. If you want to learn Falun Dafa, that is a good thing,” I told him.
One day my mother and I drove to a rural area to distribute informational materials. Because this was the first time I’d ever done this, I felt out of my comfort zone. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts while we delivered the materials to each household. Gradually, we gained more confidence.
A man took a flyer and said, “Be careful, this village is very evil. Please avoid this main road and deliver your leaflets on the side roads.”
That night in a dream, I was appointed the head of that village. I realized that Master was telling me that the people in that village were sentient beings I needed to save. But I had saved too few. I knew I needed to make a greater effort to talk about Dafa.
Let Us Practice Diligently
Since I have started to practice Falun Dafa again, I have tried to do the three things well. But there are times when I am still a bit lazy. Then Master usually reminds me in a dream to be more diligent.
I understand that there were many young people who started practicing Dafa at the same age as me. Are they still cultivating diligently? Or were they lost for a period of time? Whatever the situation, let us practice Falun Dafa diligently.