What I Saw When I Looked Within
(Minghui.org) As Dafa practitioners, we must look inside when we encounter conflicts. I have twice seen wonderful scenes when I did just that and would like to share my experience.
My Heart's Tolerance
“I have thus said before that Dafa disciples, being cultivators, should view problems in the opposite manner from how human beings do. Some people are unhappy when they meet with unpleasant things. Then aren’t you a human being? How are you any different? When you encounter unpleasant things, it is precisely time to cultivate yourself, to cultivate your mind.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)
I was blamed for something one time even though I was right. I couldn't get over it, so I recited “Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong” from Hong Yin III over and over again. I took a pen and a piece of paper, and marked down each time I recited the poem. After 50 times, I still felt that I was right. I thought, “Isn't this not doing what Master asks of us?”
“As a cultivatorOne always looks for one’s own faults’Tis the Way to get rid of attachments most effectivelyThere’s no way to skip ordeals, big or small[During a conflict, if you can remember:]'He’s right,And I’m wrong,'What’s to dispute?”(“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong” from Hong Yin III)
“Why am I so stubborn? While reciting Master's Fa, I still hold on to ordinary people's principles. This is not going to work.”
I continued reciting the poem. When I finished reciting it for the 70th time, I was no longer argumentative. When I finished reciting it for the 90th time, I laughed at myself, “Why are you so attached to the principles of ordinary people? Aren't they useless?”
When I finished reciting the poem for the 100th time, I saw blue ocean in front of my eyes and, on the surface, this appeared in golden letters, “My heart's tolerance is as immense as the ocean.”
As the golden waves pushed the letters toward me in a powerful tide, I found myself to be a giant. A gate opened in my heart, and the ocean and the letters all came into my heart through the gate. I felt at the moment that my heart was as bright and as clear as the universe and my body was extremely light.
The Most Precious Pearl
I remember another time, when I looked inward. I found many of my attachments and human notions. I thought to myself, “How could you still have so many human notions after having cultivated for so many years?”
I was still so attached to the notion of self and always thought that I was right. When I saw others' attachments, I did not look inward right away, but instead I thought of others being disappointing.
I did not take a step back when I ran into conflicts, and instead I dug into the bull's horn and tried to solve the problems with ordinary people's principles. My mentality of competitiveness and jealousy dominated.
I was very opinionated and held on to my human notions. I did not cultivate my speech. I didn't unconditionally assimilate to the Fa as Master asked of us.
After finding all these attachments, I looked at Master's picture on the wall and felt terrible—I had let Master down. Just as I was about to look away, I saw a little girl who bowed to Master.
The little girl was in a traditional dress that was not very clean, and she herself was covered in dust as well.
I thought, “That's not very respectful. She should have cleaned up first.” The little girl put her heart in front Master and her heart was also dirty. I was even more disturbed, “How could you present such an impure heart to Master?”
Just then, a miracle happened. Master extended his hand and the heart bounced onto Master's hand delightfully. It rotated in Master's hand and turned at once into a shiny crystal clear pearl. In the light of the pearl, the little girl became transparent and clear. I saw at that moment the little girl was me.
I realized right away what Master was telling me—as badly as I had cultivated, Master still treats me as a most precious pearl.
As tears rolled down my cheeks, I remembered the story of Buddha Milarepa who worshiped his master Marpa with his “body, speech, and mind.”
I had always been very touched by this story, but for the longest time, I dared not say that I worshiped Master with my “body, speech, and mind” because I thought of myself as impure and not worthy. Master made me realize that if I look inward and truly cultivate myself, then it's the best way to show respect to him.
I know I should get rid of my human attachments, work hard and diligently, and strive forward vigorously so as not to disappoint Master.