Paying Attention to Each Deviant Thought
(Minghui.org) I'm a young Dafa practitioner who has cultivated for more than 10 years. A recent physical interference taught me a lesson about the importance of our each and every thought.
More than a month ago, I had a slight pain in my hip, and saw that an abscess was forming. My ability to walk was affected to some extent, but I didn't pay much attention to it and simply thought it would go away in a few days, just as some similar experiences I had before.
But the next day, the pain became more intense and I could barely walk. I began to send righteous thoughts and thought of the “benevolent solutions” that Master taught in the Fa. After sending righteous thoughts for an hour, the pain was greatly alleviated. Delighted, I jumped up and told my mother, who is also a practitioner, “See, I'm all right now! Most of the pain is gone!”
“Don't develop zealotry,” she said to me.
In the morning three days later, the pain returned and was so intense that I couldn't put my legs in the double lotus position. It was not until then that I realized the seriousness of the matter. My mother and I sent righteous thoughts for the entire morning, but it didn't get better.
By that afternoon, the abscess was badly swollen and had burning pain. I couldn't even stand or walk by myself. I tried to send righteous thoughts, but the pain distracted me and I couldn't focus.
I realized that in a situation as intense as this, it was not ordinary elimination of my physical karma. I must have some loopholes that were taken advantage of by the old forces.
I remembered a dream that I had a few days before. I was in a crowd and noticed a handsome young man. We made eye contact, and then he left with another young woman. When I ran into him later on, he suddenly reached out his hand to me and touched my hip, the same place where I now had an abscess. I suddenly realized the problem: the sudden interference was because of my human attachments.
A handsome young man with good character started to work at my company last year. He recently began to date a not very attractive woman. When I saw them walking together one day, I thought: “How come he likes her? I'm so much better than she is!”
This quick thought severely deviated from the requirement of a cultivator. Such strong jealousy and attachment to lust were my problems.
Being Determined on the Fa
I began to send righteous thoughts targeting my attachments. The old forces, however, fought back by making my leg hurt even worse. When I went to bed that night, I was exhausted from the pain. I had to lay on my left side, and I didn't even have the strength to move.
I tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep. I had to go to the restroom. My mom helped me sit up. I suddenly felt the pain spread throughout my body, as if I were paralyzed and couldn't stand up anymore. I thought the old forces were trying to break me down. I thought to myself: “I have to be strong!”
When I was finished in the restroom, my mom was going to help me walk back to the bedroom, but I said, “I want to walk by myself.”
I was leaning against the wall, moving very slowly and taking little steps. I told myself, “I have Master and the Fa. I shouldn't be afraid of anything.” I made up my mind that I would get up to do the exercises next morning. In fact, I barely slept that night because of the pain.
When I was doing the exercises with my mother the next morning, I told myself that I had to finish it no matter how hard it was.
I couldn't stand up straight due to the pain. I had to stand on my toes. When the second exercise ended, I had almost passed out and had to take a short break. The fourth exercise was even harder. I did it very slowly and couldn't keep up with Master's instructions. I tried not to think about the pain and just listened to Master's voice. At that moment, I felt the determination that I had for the Fa.
When I was doing the fourth exercise for the second time, a miracle happened! My legs suddenly recovered, and I could stand like before. The intense physical interference was dissolved!
Tears ran down my cheeks, and I said to my mother, “I'm all right now!”
By the time when I did the fifth exercise, my legs were just fine. The abscess broke open, releasing pus and blood.
It took me four days to pass this harsh test. I know it was my “I'm better than her” thought and jealousy that gave the old forces an excuse to persecute me. Without Master's help to illuminate my problem, maybe I would have become paralyzed for the rest of my life.
This lesson impressed upon me just how important it is for us as Dafa disciples to cultivate our each and every thought based on the Fa. We can't wait to look within when problems occur. And a bad thought is as bad as doing the actual bad deed.
The Fa's requirement of us is getting higher and higher, the closer we get to the end. All the divine beings in the universe are watching our every thought closely, and the old forces are also watching closely, too – looking for opportunities to persecute us whenever our attachments appear. We need to cultivate every thought based on the Fa, and only then can we fulfill our responsibility to assist Master in Fa rectification.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!